Super User .ghoti. Posted March 28, 2012 Super User Posted March 28, 2012 35 Best Oxymorons and 27 other things to ponder 1. Jumbo Shrimp 2. Adult Male 3. State Worker 4. Legally Drunk 5. Exact Estimate 6. Awfully Nice 7. Found Missing 8. Resident Alien 9. Genuine Imitation 10. Airline Food 11. Good Grief 12. Government Organization 13. Sanitary Landfill 14. Alone Together 15. Small Crowd 16. Business Ethics 17. Soft Rock 18. Butt Head 19. Military Intelligence 20. Sweet Sorrow 21. Happily Married 22. Now And Then 23. Passive Aggression 24. Clearly Misunderstood 13. Peace Force 25. Extinct Life 26. Terribly Pleased 27. Computer Security 28. Political Science 29. Tight Slacks 30. Definite Maybe 31. Pretty Ugly 32. Rap Music 33. Working Vacation 34. Religious Tolerance 35. Microsoft Works 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? 5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? 6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? 7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? 8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges? 9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there? 10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting? 11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"? 12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected? 13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites? 14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things? 15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds? 16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it? 17. If all the world is a stage, where is t he audience sitting? 18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 19. If you are cross -eyed and have dyslexia, ca n you read all right? 20. Why is bra singular and panties plural? 21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead? 22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase? 23. How come abbreviated is such a long word? 24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? 25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Quote
Super User J Francho Posted March 28, 2012 Super User Posted March 28, 2012 I thought oxymoron made you stupid if you inhaled too much of it. Quote
riskkid 2 Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? Long Mike would be sure to resolve the problem!!! Quote
Super User A-Jay Posted March 28, 2012 Super User Posted March 28, 2012 Military Intelligence. A-Jay Quote
Super User Fishing Rhino Posted March 28, 2012 Super User Posted March 28, 2012 Why do we drive on parkways and park in driveways? Why do ships carry cargo, but trucks carry shipments? Quote
Super User Raider Nation Fisher Posted March 28, 2012 Super User Posted March 28, 2012 Why is it called football, yet you carry the ball? Quote
Super User Fishing Rhino Posted March 28, 2012 Super User Posted March 28, 2012 Why is it baseball rather than basesball? If the hits are, a single, double, and triple, why isn't a home run called a quadruple? Quote
Super User Marty Posted March 28, 2012 Super User Posted March 28, 2012 Why are some of Hawaii's roads part of the Interstate Highway System? Years ago a co-worker committed a couple of malapropisms which greatly amused me. On one, he was commenting on an accident on a divided highway and said the car jumped right over the meridian. On the other, he said Bob (another co-worker) had invited him to his club for a round of golf and he thought it would be the right thing for him to retaliate and invite Bob to his club. Quote
Super User clayton86 Posted March 29, 2012 Super User Posted March 29, 2012 Military Intelligence best one right there. why is it we say "gotta take a dump" when really were leaving one Quote
Global Moderator Bluebasser86 Posted March 29, 2012 Global Moderator Posted March 29, 2012 Government organization, right on there. One of my favorite lines at work "I'm with the government and I'm here to help." It's best served with heavy sarcasm. Quote
flippin and pitchin Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 A guy thought he was buying illegal oxycodone on the street and it was actually some type worm pill for dogs. That my friends is an oxymoron. 2 Quote
Super User Alpster Posted March 31, 2012 Super User Posted March 31, 2012 If you have 10 odds & ends on a table and one falls off, is it an odd or an end? Ronnie Quote
scrutch Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 Why do they call them apartments when they're all stuck together? Quote
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