Super User clayton86 Posted April 1, 2014 Super User Posted April 1, 2014 My wife didn't find that as funny as I did
Super User RoLo Posted April 4, 2014 Super User Posted April 4, 2014 For Members over 55 -- It's MEMORABILIA For Members under 55 -- It's a JOKE http://www.rolotechnologies.com/Avatars/Memorabilia.pdf 2
Super User jbsoonerfan Posted April 4, 2014 Super User Posted April 4, 2014 MEMORABILIA (Adults 55+) http://www.rolotechnologies.com/Avatars/Memorabilia.pdf Is the joke that you posted this as a PDF file???????
Super User Sam Posted April 4, 2014 Super User Posted April 4, 2014 I recently spent $9,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. The Vet said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to give him once a day.The bull started servicing the cows almost immediately, all the cows, twice a day! He even broke through the fence and screwed my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine!! I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him............ but they taste like peppermint. 3
Traveler2586 Posted April 4, 2014 Author Posted April 4, 2014 I recently spent $9,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. The Vet said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to give him once a day. The bull started servicing the cows almost immediately, all the cows, twice a day! He even broke through the fence and screwed my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine!! I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him............ but they taste like peppermint. I could use a LARGE bottle of them, what's the Vets name???? 1
dave Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 For Members over 55 -- It's MEMORABILIA For Members under 55 -- It's a JOKE http://www.rolotechnologies.com/Avatars/Memorabilia.pdf As usual the answer is 42 1
Super User RoLo Posted April 4, 2014 Super User Posted April 4, 2014 As usual the answer is 42 Well, in a way it is, 1942 is a war baby
Brian Needham Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 I am 37 and remember alomost every one of those items from my childhood.... memorabila indeed. 1
Super User jbsoonerfan Posted April 4, 2014 Super User Posted April 4, 2014 An elderly man owned a large farm for several years and one evening he decided to go down to the pond. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he got closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him; "We are not coming out till you leave." The old man replied; "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or to make you get out naked." Holding the bucket up, he said "I'm here to feed the alligator."........................Some old men can still think fast. 1
Super User Redlinerobert Posted April 5, 2014 Super User Posted April 5, 2014 crazy Japanese! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yq7wBYxGWqM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXrfpP3PUBw 1
macmichael Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 I went to the casino this evening. Struck up a conversation with a smoking hot blond. Now remember I am 65. A few drinks later, one thing led to another and we ended up at her house. As we were preparing to get serious she tells me that this could cause a deadly heart attack. I looked her square in the face and told her. Honey, if you die you die!!!!! :) 1
Traveler2586 Posted April 7, 2014 Author Posted April 7, 2014 Please excuse the four-letter words toward the end of the following story. *I would have deleted them, but the story wouldn't be the same. * A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon.When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother."Well", said her mother, "so how was the honeymoon?""Oh mama", she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic"...Suddenly she burst out crying."But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language.Things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful four-letter words!You've got to take me home!! PLEASE MAMA""Sarah, Sarah", her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out.Now, tell me, what could be so awful?WHAT four-letter words?""Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter."I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful!JUST COME GET ME, PLEASE""Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible four-letter words"Sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama...., he used words like: *"DUST, WASH, IRON and COOK ...* "I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said her mother. 4
Super User slonezp Posted April 8, 2014 Super User Posted April 8, 2014 Please excuse the four-letter words toward the end of the following story. *I would have deleted them, but the story wouldn't be the same. * A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. "Well", said her mother, "so how was the honeymoon?" "Oh mama", she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic"... Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language. Things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful four-letter words! You've got to take me home!! PLEASE MAMA" "Sarah, Sarah", her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT four-letter words?" "Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter. "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! JUST COME GET ME, PLEASE" "Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible four-letter words" Sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama...., he used words like: *"DUST, WASH, IRON and COOK ...* "I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said her mother. Sad that this is the thinking of the new generation. Do you know why women's feet are so small? So they can stand closer to the sink while doing the dishes 2
Super User clayton86 Posted April 8, 2014 Super User Posted April 8, 2014 Sad that this is the thinking of the new generation. Do you know why women's feet are so small? So they can stand closer to the sink while doing the dishes Why are wedding dresses white? All house hold appliances come in white 2
Traveler2586 Posted April 9, 2014 Author Posted April 9, 2014 It took me a minute or two, but I get it.....
Traveler2586 Posted April 11, 2014 Author Posted April 11, 2014 OK, I have a handful of five's, who do I call???? 1
Super User slonezp Posted April 12, 2014 Super User Posted April 12, 2014 I prefer mine already harvested at the peak of ripeness 1
Traveler2586 Posted April 13, 2014 Author Posted April 13, 2014 After my last post I know some of you may be crying, so here's a little something to cheer you up. Rubbed the Wrong Way A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.' The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?' The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.' The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.' The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!' The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!' 6
blongfishing Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 There was 3 little moles in a tunnel. The first mole said to the second "Do you smell syrup, cause I smell syrup?" The second mole said no. The second mole said to the third mole " Do you smell syrup, cause I smell syrup? The third mole said " No, but I smell molasses?" I still remember being a young child and My papa jack would say this. Oh how I miss him!! 6
Super User Sam Posted April 17, 2014 Super User Posted April 17, 2014 Why Teachers DRINK The following questions were set in last year's GED examination These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds) Q. Name the four seasonsA.. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar Q. How is dew formedA.. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist onA. If you are buying a house they will insist that you arewell endowed Q. In a democratic society, how important are electionsA.. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election Q. What are steroids A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs Q. What happens to your body as you ageA. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches pubertyA.. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettesA.. Premature death Q. What is artificial inseminationA... When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow Q. How can you delay milk turning sourA.. Keep it in the cow Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)A.. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U Q. What is the fibula?A.. A small lie Q. What does 'varicose' mean?A.. Nearby Q. What is the most common form of birth controlA.. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'A.. The caesarean section is a district in Rome Q. What is a seizure?A.. A Roman Emperor. Q. What is a terminal illness A. When you are sick at the airport. Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?A.. Benign is what you will be after you be eight Q. What is a turbine?A.. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head.Once a Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head. 6
papajoe222 Posted April 20, 2014 Posted April 20, 2014 Doris is sitting in a bar and says to her friend that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. The bartender tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery." Doris asks, "How do I do it without surgery?" "Just rub toilet paper between them." Fascinated, Doris says, "How does that make them bigger?" "I don't know, but it sure worked for your ass!" 5
Traveler2586 Posted April 21, 2014 Author Posted April 21, 2014 Boss to employee, "I'm sorry, a raise is out of the question; But we can give you a thumbs up on Facebook"
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