Does Your Wife/other Groom You?

[Bassn Blvd]

I think my wife gets her kicks by making me scream like a little b****.

About 2x a month she chases me down with the tweesers to pluck the hairs that grow on my upper check just below the eyes. That part of the face is very tender and she knows it. My eyes well up with tears and I curse her with phrases I've never heard before.

She tries to prepare me by giving me the 3 count before she plucks, but she can't f'ng count. She grabs the hair with the tweesers and says "get ready. 1, PLUCK, 2,3." I'm like "you s.o.b! You're supposed to say 1,2,3 then pluck!"

My jaws hurt from clinching down on my teeth and my cheeks are numb. I swear she gets some sort of twisted gratification out of hurting me.

[Traveler2586]

LOL, LOL....... I read this post as I'm looking at your Avatar........ and I'm thinking OMG........ Run for the hills........

[clayton86]

My wife does she even asked to do it when I'm home on leave I'm gonna grow it out as much ad I can so she can this week I'm home. She shaves my goatee and plucks te unibrow to.

[scrutch]

I do it all myself. That way I control the pain.

Pain is just weakness leaving the body. Man up!

[J Francho]

I pay for that kind of pain. Hot wax on the unibrow after the haircut. Actually doesn't hurt that much. Way better than plucking - lasts about 6 weeks.

[Bassn Blvd]

_{I said "pluck" but it's more like a staedy pull that makes it hurt.}

[Raider Nation Fisher]

Only if I get backne. And even then its usually my sister in law that does it for me.

[Fishing Rhino]

I'm at the stage of life when my eyebrows grow, sprouting little horns of hair here and there. When she says sit down with scissors in her hand, I know they've grown beyond acceptable bounds. I protest just on principle, but it never reaches the level of the drama of the post that starts this thread.

[grimlin]

I have one hair that always seems to grow right by my right eye. For some reason it annoys the hell out of her and she plucks it.

Usually happens about once every 6 months. I can't figure it out either. Every time she plucks it now it grows thicker and thicker.

[Daniel My Brother]

My wife never gets that close to me. The smell keeps her at bay.

[slonezp]

No, but unlike you, I'm not a sasquatch.

[Traveler2586]

I don't know what I'd do if my wife came at me with grooming tools, I guess I'd think hell just froze over. She just barks at me to fix myself up, I look like a slob. The next time in the bathroom I shave. Having her take time to groom me???? To actually touch me - Is that kinda like four play - or something

[Long Mike]

The only grooming tool my wife comes at me with is a weed-eater. She seems to have a fetish about my eyebrows.

[SirSnookalot]

With age comes some hair growth in places that are not appreciated, my ears. It isn't too bad if maintained, I keep a short bread, just a quick trim over the lobes and I'm good until the next time.

[Zoff]

I don't work there and have no idea how... but we own a salon... hair... nails... therapeutic massage (yes... we have an certified masseuse/RN that does this). Although I know more about nails and hair than any one man should, I run the financial end of the business and Wife handles the daily ops. She cuts my hair and gripes about the condition of my nails.

[Ima Bass Ninja]

I usually take care of any grooming needs before the wife has a chance to say anything. The way i learned this is by actually letting her pluck 1 eyebrow hair. that was enough for me to not let it happen again. If i slip she'll give a friendly reminder by saying "you want me to get that hair for you" in which case i run, not walk, to take care of it myself.

[Bluebasser86]

My wife cuts my hair, toenails, plucks my eyebrows, and goes crazy on my backacne. The hair is to save money, it's just a buzzcut anyways and a cheap pair of clippers is $30 instead of paying $14 every 2 weeks. I'd forget I have toenails if she wasn't always wanting to see if they need trimmed. I hate the other two. Unless I have a big one on my back that hurts when my uniform hits it I don't really worry about it. She attacks my back with no remorse, digging and pinching and squeezing. Sometimes I'm not sure if shes trying to pop back acne or get me to tap out.

[retiredbosn]

I have a bad back and can't reach my toes to trim them, I've been in a back brace with toenails cutting holes in the sheets at night and she won't touch them, lol. I have neuropathy in my lower extremities and my feet don't sweat, I have to take a sand paper to the bottom of my feet to remove the dead skin. I wish I could get some help, too cheap to pay for a pedicure.

As far as hair goes it's like Jeff Foxworthy says, men do not loose any hair. Our head sucks it up and it shoots out somewhere else, ears, nose, backs, I even have hair growing in the creases of my elbows; and no I'm not like sasquatch, no unibrow or hairy back.

[Raider Nation Fisher]

I have a bad back and can't reach my toes to trim them, I've been in a back brace with toenails cutting holes in the sheets at night and she won't touch them, lol. I have neuropathy in my lower extremities and my feet don't sweat, I have to take a sand paper to the bottom of my feet to remove the dead skin. I wish I could get some help, too cheap to pay for a pedicure.

As far as hair goes it's like Jeff Foxworthy says, men do not loose any hair. Our head sucks it up and it shoots out somewhere else, ears, nose, backs, I even have hair growing in the creases of my elbows; and no I'm not like sasquatch, no unibrow or hairy back.

Ain't gotten that bad with the hair sucking into my head. I still have maybe 80% up there, but its usually shaved anyway. As for it growing elsewhere. Homie I'm starting to look like Im wearing a fur coat. Chest, back upper and lower. Forarms and upper arms. I've also recently noticed its starting on my shoulders. Heaven forbid when I'm forty, it will honestly probably look like a coat. However on the plus side, it does keep me warm in the winter.

[.ghoti.]

My wife is always after my ears and eyebrows. She leaves the rest alone, except for telling me to get a haircut way too often.

[riskkid 2]

My wife just sets out the trimmer by the sink.......I guess she believes in subtle hints.

[Redlinerobert]

When I get my haircut I make sure the barber trims my eyebrows for this reason.

[Traveler2586]

I had long, white, wavy hair. The last time I had it cut the barber asked how would I like it, I said take it all off, he said excuse me, and I repeated myself. A woman waiting with her two small boys sat there watching with her mouth hanging open the whole time. It was quite funny, watching her, watching me.

When I got home, my wife refused to touch my head; she asked why!!! I told her I wanted something different..... She hasn't touched my head yet

[Fishing Rhino]

I had long, white, wavy hair. The last time I had it cut the barber asked how would I like it, I said take it all off, he said excuse me, and I repeated myself. A woman waiting with her two small boys sat there watching with her mouth hanging open the whole time. It was quite funny, watching her, watching me.

When I got home, my wife refused to touch my head; she asked why!!! I told her I wanted something different..... She hasn't touched my head yet

Uhhhhh, how can I phrase this delicately. I'd like some clarification about the, "She hasn't touched my......................................." On second thought, nevermind.

[Traveler2586]

Uhhhhh, how can I phrase this delicately. I'd like some clarification about the, "She hasn't touched my......................................." On second thought, nevermind.

LOL, no....... Nothing......... She says when it grows out she might think about it, she doesn't like it short.........