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Posted

Great thread... I must have missed some "butthurt" posts that got deleted...

Posted

Great thread... I must have missed some "butthurt" posts that got deleted...

Ya, you did.. Wasn't much, we're all just having some fun. I rolled on the floor over Redliners post, and my wife came down stairs to ask what was I watching. You gotta see it....

Posted

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on the bench?

The NBA.

There we evened it out.

Posted

Here are some good ones that 90% of this boards demographic will completely understand and possibly not realize why these are considered jokes and not facts.

Did you hear about the guy from Louisiana who passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow, but she canā€™t touch it until sheā€™s 14.

Did you hear about the $3 million Arkansas State Lottery? The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.

Did you hear that the governorā€™s mansion in Alabama burned down? Yep. Pertā€™ near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss, too. Both booksā€“poof!ā€“up in flames. And he hadnā€™t finished coloring one of them.

How do you know when youā€™re staying in a Kentucky hotel? When you call the front desk and say, ā€œI gotta leak in my sink,ā€ and the front desk person replies: ā€œGo ahead.ā€

Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in West Virginia to 32? It seems that they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools?

  • Super User
Posted

Sense were picking on the south now......

How do you pick women up in the south?

With a crane

  • Super User
Posted

Sense were picking on the south now......

How do you pick women up in the south?

With a crane

That sounds like a Wisconsin joke.

  • Super User
Posted

It's time for some Mexican jokes!

How many officers does it take to arrest a Mexican Guy?

It takes 4. 1 to arrest him and 3 to carry his oranges

What do you call a Mexican baptism?

A bean dip.

Why do Mexicans eat Tomales for Christmas?

So they have something to unwrap.

Why do Mexicans re-fry their beans?

Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time?

Why doesnt Mexico have a Olympic team?

Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already across the border!!

How can you tell when Mexicans move in the neighborhood?

When Blacks get car insurance.

Why did God give Mexicans noses?

So theyll have something to pick in the winter.

Why wasnt Jesus born in Mexico?

They couldnt find 3 wise men and a virgin!

What do you call a Mexican with a vasectomy?

A dry Martinez.

Do you know why you should never run over a mexican on a bicycle?

Might be your bicycle!

Why do mexicans drive low-riders?

So they can drive and pick lettuce at the same time!

  • BassResource.com Administrator
Posted

Ok, ok...it's important that everyone know that Robert has a very strong Hispanic heritage, and is fluent is both Spanish and English. He's joking about his own culture, folks.

  • Super User
Posted

Like Glenn posted earlier, these are all jokes people. Stop getting your panties in a bunch. It's good to be able to laugh at yourself.

....But sometimes it's much better to be able to laugh at others. :respect-059:

  • Like 1
  • Super User
Posted

I love jokes wether directed towards me or me directing them towards other. Keeps ya young in gonna have to use some of them on the Dominican and rican in my squad cuz they hate being called mexican or getting the two islands mixed. It's all in good fun iv taken alot here in Mississippi being from new York and a redneck Yankee as Hernandez likes to call me.

  • Super User
Posted

Ok, ok...it's important that everyone know that Robert has a very strong Hispanic heritage, and is fluent is both Spanish and English. He's joking about his own culture, folks.

So with that reasoning, .ghoti is Muslim?

  • Like 1
  • Super User
Posted

So with that reasoning, .ghoti is Muslim?

He has to be. Anyone who spells fish "ghoti" is certainly not from these parts.

  • Super User
Posted

It's not a deduction deakn. It's fact.

I'm of Mexican descent, however most of my friends tell me I'm the only Mexican redneck they know. I take it as a compliment. :)

  • Super User
Posted

It's not a deduction deakn. It's fact.

I'm of Mexican descent, however most of my friends tell me I'm the only Mexican redneck they know. I take it as a compliment. :)

Robert,I don't doubt you, that wasn't my point.

Posted

Like Glenn posted earlier, these are all jokes people. Stop getting your panties in a bunch. It's good to be able to laugh at yourself.

....But sometimes it's much better to be able to laugh at others. :respect-059:

X2

I like laughing with others....... If we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at. Laugh a lot - enjoy life.....

I'm sorry I can't offer up any Scottish jokes, the only Scott's I know are grumpy old men :)

  • Super User
Posted

X2

I like laughing with others....... If we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at. Laugh a lot - enjoy life.....

I'm sorry I can't offer up any Scottish jokes, the only Scott's I know are grumpy old men :)

Aye, I can help ye there.

Why do the Scott's put there trash out in clear bags?

So the British can window shop.

Why are Scottish Churches all round?

So no one can hide in the corner during collection.

Why did the Scotsman marry a woman born on February 29?

So he'd only have to buy her a birthday present every four years.

What's the difference between a tightrope and a Scotsman?

A tightrope sometimes gives.

How was the Grand Canyon created?

I Scotsman dropped a penny in a crack somewhere in Arizona.

Yup, and I am Scottish, got our own clan and everything. We got Tartans, Crests, and our own animal even.

  • Super User
Posted

Since we're making fun of our ethnicities

How come Italian's don't like Jehovah witnesses?

They don't like any witnesses

What's the difference between an Italian grandmother and an elephant?

50 pounds and a black dress.

How does an Italian get into an honest business?

Usually through the skylight.

What do you get when you cross an Italian and a Black Man?

A guy who makes you an offer you can t understand.

At the World Women's Conference, the first speaker from England stood up:

"At last year's conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well after the conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb."

The crowd cheered.

The second speaker from America stood up:

"After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had done not only his own washing but my washing as well."

The crowd cheered.

The third speaker from Italy stood up:

"After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his shopping and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."

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