A Poem About Love, Redneck Style

[Bassn Blvd]

Okra is green, my dog's name is Blue

And I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk, a-flapping in the breeze

Softer than Blue's, and without all them fleas.

You move like a bass, which exite me in May

You ain't got no scales, but I luv you anyway.

You're as graceful as bacon, jist a-dancin' in the pan

Yo're as fragrant as SunDrop, right out of the can.

You have all yore teeth, for which I am proud;

I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions, when you shave yore armpits

Well, I'm in hawg heaven, I'm plumb outta my wits.

Still them fellers at work they all want to know

What I did to deserve such a purty, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape, yo're there fer yore man

To patch up life's troubles and stick'em in the can.

Yo're strong as a four-wheeler, racin through the mud

Yet fragile as that sanger, named Naomi Judd.

Yo're as cute as a junebug, a-buzzin' overhead

You ain't mean like no fire ant upon which I oft' tread.

When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack

My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion; perfect, like the best vinyl sidin'

Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.

And when you get old, like a '57 Chevy

Won't put you on blocks and let grass grow up heavy.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie, with a RC cold drank

We go together like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate, for Valentine's Day;

They git it at Wa-Mart, it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses on that special day

From the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say.

Some buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth

"Diamonds are forever," they expalin, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey, These will not do

For you are too special, You sweet thang you.

I got you a gift, Without taste nor odor

Better than doamonds, it's a new trollin' motor.

-Authur Unknown.

[GLADES]

I can just piture u on won nee regalin yur wif an the resultin az whoppin..

[Bassn Blvd]

I can just piture u on won nee regalin yur wif an the resultin az whoppin..

HAHA. I'll get my wife tackle and a troling motor and she'll like it. If she don't, then I'll keep'em fer myself.

[Raider Nation Fisher]

I bought mine three combos a couple years ago, and she dang near beat me to death with them. Then she went and returned them and pocketed the dang money!

She has just informed me I didn't go into enough depth on that. They were "from" our at the 1yr and a half year old. They were put on the couch and covered in a pink blanket. I never have been good at wrapping gifts. After the ensuing fight and stomping I recieved, she didn't get anything the next year. Which I might add is worse than getting her something she doesn't want.

[clayton86]

I bought mine three combos a couple years ago, and she dang near beat me to death with them. Then she went and returned them and pocketed the dang money!

She has just informed me I didn't go into enough depth on that. They were "from" our at the 1yr and a half year old. They were put on the couch and covered in a pink blanket. I never have been good at wrapping gifts. After the ensuing fight and stomping I recieved, she didn't get anything the next year. Which I might add is worse than getting her something she doesn't want.

Haha sounds like my bro in law buying his wife a grill one year and a turkey fryer the next followed by a smoker all things she's yet to use lol. Me all I do is screw up chicken wing orders so there hot and she won't eat em leaving em all for me haha. That or the old buy it now early and don't get me anything for Christmas gig never a good idea the early presents.

[Bassn Blvd]

I bought mine three combos a couple years ago, and she dang near beat me to death with them. Then she went and returned them and pocketed the dang money!

She has just informed me I didn't go into enough depth on that. They were "from" our at the 1yr and a half year old. They were put on the couch and covered in a pink blanket. I never have been good at wrapping gifts. After the ensuing fight and stomping I recieved, she didn't get anything the next year. Which I might add is worse than getting her something she doesn't want.

For some reason this ^ is making me LMAO.

No matter WHAT I get her, my ARS is grass if I don't send her flowers to her at work. And the flowers can't be anything but red roses. Not white, purple, yellow, green, blue or black- just RED. Dang spoiled, I tell ya.