best/funniest fishing saying

[thetr20one]

After watchin Bill Dance forever I started saying "slide right up here on my thumb" when we would fish bassmaster rules. (if me and a friend go fishing together from one boat we always compete and use either bassmaster nets or flw no net) he though that was the funniest! but I think its hilarious when Dance uses dadgummit or dadgum!

B.A.S.S. is no nets FLW is nets.

my mistake. I didn't reread before posting. You know what I meant though..

[brgbassmaster]

when we lived in alaska me my brother and my dad were standing there fishing for kings on a river there cant remember if it was willow creek or kenai river anyway, this guy was launching his boat and he was having all sorts of problems couldnt back it,wife was giving him bad directions and were watching this all play out. so finally he gets the boat in the water, but forgot to unhook the hook in the front of the boat that holds it to the trailer it was just loose. so the boat floats off with wife and kids in the boat. he goes to pull the trailer out and drags the boat up on the ramp and into the rocks lol wife and kids yelling. we were laughing so hard my brother yells over there " what you fishing for rock bass" we were laughing so hard, and he didnt think it was to funny.

[Bass n Bows]

I love it when Bill Dance catches one and says,"Hey there's a fat one, just like me."  

Ol' Roland Martin gets fired up about every fish he catches,"Oh son!  I got a big one, I got a giant on, son!" Then he gets the fish to the boat and its a dink.  That cracks me up every time.  

Whenever I'm fishing with a buddy I get cocky and say, "I can feel a fish fart on my hook!" :

[Bass XL]

Ol' Roland Martin gets fired up about every fish he catches,"Oh son! I got a big one, I got a giant on, son!" Then he gets the fish to the boat and its a dink. That cracks me up every time.

;DNo it's,"That's a 4,5,6,7,8 pound bass rite there!"

[Late Night Bass]

you may have needed to be present for this one to be funny, but...

i was fishing a tourny in jan. and it about 33 at blast off. the fishing was slow and it was about to rain. not to mention the 20-25 mph winds. i came up to a no wake zone under a bridge and there is a man sitting in pontoon by himself with his head buried in his jacket trying to stay warm. he looks as we come through so i give him the, " ya havin any luck". he gives me a look that i will never forget and says "BAD"!!! and buries his head back in his jacket.

i think most of know all too well where that man was comming from, lol.

[Olebiker]

Years ago, when graphite rods were new to the market, Bill Dance was fishing a Texas-rigged worm on his show.

"There he is!" Bill said and took up the slack in his line.

"No.  It's not a bass; it's a can...  a beer can...  Budweiser.  Man these graphite rods are sensitive!"

[Tokyo Tony]

At least a couple times each outing my brother will make a hard cast and the bait will stop mid-air about 20-30 feet out and fall to the water because his bail closed. Every time I remind him in a matter-of-fact voice, "You have to open the bail to cast."

A couple times I told a serious story, "You know, I've been reading a lot about bass fishing lately, and all the pros agree about a very important, yet little-known secret in bass fishing. Right before you cast with a spinning setup, you need to open the bail."  

[AKFerzy7]

everytime i try to set the hook on something thats not a fish i tell my partner "i'm just sighting it in"

[BirdNestBen]

this German Lady who used to own a tackle shop sure could sell lures... one day I asked if the crappie were biting this lure she was selling... she said o boy they bitin em hook line and de seeenker...

[ventureboat]

Backlash = Professional Overrun

[Hawghead]

I used to fish with my dad all the time growing up, and he didn't have power trim so I would have to raise and lower the motor by hand, there was a latch i would move to keep the motor tilted up, or release when i would lower it when we need to move to a new spot.

One day he turns and says "Put the motor down"... while looking at the motor I replied "YOUR MOTHER WAS AN EGGBEATER"....

and turn and look at him for approval, he justed stared and the floor of the boat and shook his head.

[garry77]

My latest fishing partner had some sage advice the other day.I was whining about the fish I just missed and how it was probably a giant and all.He replied. "A hit is history and a miss a mystery now  quit bitchin' and fish."

  ;D

[moby bass]

Years ago my brother and I were fishing with an elderly gentleman who was an expert caster.  Bob and I were both having a bad day casting and were constantly getting hung up in the willow bushes overhanging Kentucky Lake.  

Kent, obviously perturbed at having to pull the boat in and disentangle one more errant cast, asked, "You boys got any other hobbies?"

I love dry humor.

[.ghoti.]

will you please get your %$#$@ bait out of the tree. Squirrels ain't in season

[fishbear]

One of my fishing buddies was having a heck of a day,, about every 5th cast, he was getting caught in the brush along the shore.  After one specially horrendous cast and he wrapped around a limb about 10 ft. in the air, I turned and said,  "You know that those rare and endangered tree bass are not legal to catch".  He about fell out of the boat he was laughing so hard. :

[Big-O]

Years ago, during a guide trip, one of my clients and I were just getting into the boat and he held up a little plastic black bird that had some treble hooks hand tied to it's neck and tail with mono and asked  seriously, "Are you a good enough guide to find me some bass to catch on my bait", I smiled and replied, "Not sure I can do that but I bet I'm a good enough guide to find some baits that you can catch some bass on".  

One of my favorite Bud's is not the best fisherman around and nor is he very handy with a baitcasting reel and when he gets one of those serious backlashes, he yells "Beer Break".

Big O

www.ragetail.com

[bigdog]

I used to fish with my dad all the time growing up, and he didn't have power trim so I would have to raise and lower the motor by hand, there was a latch i would move to keep the motor tilted up, or release when i would lower it when we need to move to a new spot.

One day he turns and says "Put the motor down"... while looking at the motor I replied "YOUR MOTHER WAS AN EGGBEATER"....

and turn and look at him for approval, he justed stared and the floor of the boat and shook his head.

too funny

[Bass Tard]

Using a Scum Frog on a small pond one day and a large bass hit it as soon as it hit the water. The explosion of the bass hitting the bait made me jump and I pulled my rod back to set the hook. My buddy yells "incoming!" as the Scum Frog whistled right between us. Everytime I use a Scum Frog, he always says "need to put on my flack jacket now." LMAO

[hawgchaser]

Next stop.......Lake Crisco! Thats one of my favorite lines when crappie fishing.

["Lunker Hunter"]

As a kid we vacationed in Mich.  I was fishing with the kid in the next cabin all week.  We would go to town and buy worms each night for the following days fishing.  One day not sure which one we were having a tough time catching any fish.  The kid I was with picked up the container of worms and then told me why we were not catching any fish.  He replied that yesterday we were using large curd and today we have small curd...  The worms were in cottage cheese containers.  I will never forget it.

[Big-O]

Last year, my grandson and I were fishing on a hot sultry day and there was absolutely no wind. We were in 25 ft of water jigging a timber ledge and the boat eased up on a submerged stump. Suddenly thousands of tiny bubbles surfaced and my grandson Michael said, "Hey PaPa look, the bass are fartin"  

Big O

www.ragetail.com

[Quinn]

I was fishing this winter on the small lake here in Marshall, MO, the weather was cold spitting occasional rain and sleet thus justifying the question.  The geese keep the water thawed and everything around was frozen solid.

I was walking to the bank from my Van with 2 poles in hand rigged up as a mini-van drove by and the adults asked me "You goin' fishin'?" Then the kid in the back said "Are you gona try to catch a fish?"

I couldn't resist:  I said "Nope, I'm going to try to rope a goose...........

HEEEERS YOUR SIGN"

Bill Engval (sp?) would have been proud. ;D

[georgiabassfisherman]

The Bill Dance blooper when he had a few rods in the back of his truck and says,"Heres a tip for ya" then he shuts the tailgate on all of the rods and picks up the tips and says,"Nope here is a handfull of tips for ya."

[BassinAssassin171]

One time when I was bed fishing with my buddy and we were trying to cast as close to the beds as possible.  Whenever he made a good cast he exclaimed, "GIVE ME AN AWARD!!!!"

[BucketmouthAngler13]

heres one I made up myself:

April Showers Bring Bass Spawners

that was three years ago and so far its been proven true for me  :)lol