Asking your wife's permission...

[fish-fighting-illini]

Not at all, hopefully you allow her the time to do what she wants also.

LBH, she's pretty active in her own right. She plays softball and bunko regularly and does the annual trip with her girlfriends, but these are just hobbies, my fishing is closer to an obsession.

We meet the great the one and only Daniel ( whatever it is this week ) in person ( ok in print ) in the flesh. Not to mention the wonderful spouse!

[nboucher]

Ronnie, I'm old enough to know that six years is just the blink of an eye. I'm sure your loss is still felt.

Often my wife is only too happy to get me out of the house to go fishing. Inside, I'm often restless and unfocused, and it drives her crazy. In fact, she will often say, "Why don't you go fishing? It'll make you feel better."

This is my second marriage, and I'm trying to do it right this time. I want my wife to be happy and she wants me to be happy, even if the things that make us happy can sometimes be different things. Sometimes those things are simple: fishing for a few hours, in my case, coming downstairs and seeing the kitchen has been cleaned up (with asking), in her case.

[Fishin-Psyantist]

 Ok ok ok Im the one responsible for stiring up this hornets nest by making this quote.

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I agree with all of the above mentioned and would like to add;

Someone who does not have to have his wifes permission to leave the house. I mean good grief, How many people have I invited fishing and I get "Well let me see what the wife says, or Well the wife wants me to do this or that". I tell my wife when Im going fishin, or we are going fishing. End of conversation.

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 Just wanted to clairify a few things. The post may make one assume that on a day I just barge in and say to my wife "Im going fishing no mater what screw you and your plans". Well thats not the case. My wife does keep me informed of family events so I know whats happening and when. When it comes to unexpected events that require my attention like for example the car is leaking antifreeze and is overheating and she is not able to leave the house, well then if I had plans to go fishing then they would be promptly cancelled. I am lucky by the fact that my wife is very trustworthy of me leaving the house for long periods of time alone.  Her hobbies {mostly craft stuff} and my hobbies dont conflict with each other. So when I say Im going fishing end of conversation, its cool with her because she knows Im probably going to take Jacob my 7 year old son with me and she will be free to do whatever she wants with no kids attatched. Moms like that!  So in fact she kind of likes it when I go fishing.

I had two people in mind when I made this post

One friend I have invited fishing and other activities and he never comes because his wife seems to have another plan for him. His son now about 13 considers it a delight to go to a Bass Pro Shops and just browse but thats about all that happens with his fishing interests so far. I dont even ask anymore.

The other friend does go fishing with me on rare occasion but the past two times I arrive at his house to pick him up he has cancelled on me at the last minute. One of those occasions was a wife had other plans thing. I will say this in their defense, they both have a larger and more active family than I do so it is much harder for them to get away. But I still get frustrated over their reasons for not going thus the reason for answering the post the way I did.

 I did not mention the fact that I do have a 7 year old son that I started teaching how to fish last spring. It is a real blessing to watch him learn but the questions are endless and hard to answer sometimes, but still a blessing. I guess if it werent for him I would fish alone. Perhaps I should have mentioned him in the post too so it would not have seemed so negative. :)

[farmpond1]

Maybe the hornets nest was buzzing but it wasn't stinging.  Everyone has their opinion and there is probably some wisdom in what everyone had to say.

What's frustrating for me is my friend- the one whose wife likes to boss him-will complain to me about how little personal space or freedom he has and then later if I happen to mention it, he acts as if there isn't a problem.  It's embarassing for me.  I'm largely to the point where I don't care and he's entirely on his own.

[Bassnajr]

Everyone has at least one friend like that. I now what you mean farmpond. I used to feel bad, but it's their choice.

ajr

[fish-fighting-illini]

I figured this would be a 5 post and out topic. It has turned out to be quite informative.

I'm not 100% sure on how to reply.

Marriage is a partnership and thus a 2 way street. It is only common courtesy and common sense that everyone respects the partnership. From the posts it appears that " the partnership " is different for everyone. Much like the Shimano, Diaw, Pflueger & Abu preference their is no one patented answer everyone is different.

I also have seen on many many occasions how something reads in print comes accross quite differently than the spoken word in person.

On that note I have a buddy that I fish with a lot. Every time I ask him if he wants to go I always here in the background " is it ok if I go fishing with Matt". It bugs the crap out of me and it shouldn't as she has never ever said no. Its a matter of semantics really, maybe I'm just finicky or a little odd! LOL

I run it by my wife and my fishing crave is pushing the envelope in recent years. With 6 women and 3 of them teenagers in the house, and a still fairly recent job setback I must fish to survive. It is kind like blue collar "yoga " if you will.

If I ever thought my spuse "required " me to have her permission I'd have a lawyer arrange the permanent permission.

Bottom line: to each his own

FFI AKA - Matt Crum

[Daniel My Brother]

Hey Fishin Psyantist,

I think a lot of time when a friend tells me "my wife won't let me" what he really means is "I don't feel like fishing, but I know YOU won't understand that, so I'll just blame the wife"

[fish-fighting-illini]

Hey fishing P any chance you could take the 13 yr old old w/o the dad on occasion?

 That way at least the kid gets a taste of fishing.

You wouldn't want to undermine the buddy of course, but maybe this would take the pressure off of everyone.

[Catt]

Gray the rules

1. The female is always right.

2. The rules are subject to change at any time.

3. No male can possibly know all the rules.

4. The female is never wrong.

5. The female can change her mind at any given time.

6. The male must never change his mind without the consent the female.

7. The female has every right to be angry at any time.

8. The male must remain calm at all times.

9. If the female has PMS all rules are null and void.

10. If two females have different opinions, they're both right.

[Guest avid]

But, if you have to ask permission............wow dude.   You are truly a "meow"

And I'm supposed to be the judgmental one...   that's pretty ironic.

don't start ok?

[Guest avid]

No comment.   :-X

The new Shriley is probably a better person, but the old Burley was way funnier.  Nice to see you getting in touch with your feminine side.

[Guest avid]

Hey Fishin Psyantist,

I think a lot of time when a friend tells me "my wife won't let me" what he really means is "I don't feel like fishing, but I know YOU won't understand that, so I'll just blame the wife"

How Whipped is THAT  

[Low_Budget_Hooker]

Ahhhhh.......The Single Life ;D

The grass is always greener on the other side but this is one thread where I'm on the right side by the looks of it.

Don't get me wrong, a few of you married guys have it set up right (IMO) but.....I know if I WERE married, understanding my "fishing" would have been one of the pre-requisites to her ever seeing the ring to begin with.  

.........Probably why I'm still single,lol

I've also fished with enough women and had enough longer term relationships with girls that I got into fishing, to know that her being able to be a part of that aspect in my life,.....is something I wouldn't settle for not having.

[Tpayneful]

My wife and I have two boys 5 and 7.  Over the years taking care of them has sometimes been a challenge.  My wife has stayed home with them and took on the brunt of the hard work.  On weekends I had my hands full helping out and I just didn't fish much.  As the children got older I got more opportunities to fish but I always negotiated the time with my wife.  Whatever time I wanted, she needed to get equal time for herself.  Three years ago we negotiated a yearly trip for each of us.  In February she goes on a 3-4 day cruise with her friends and in April she goes on a 3 day spa weekend with her friends.  In return I go on a 7 day fishing trip to Florida in February.  Now that the boys are older and easier to take care of my fishing opportunities have increased dramatically.  

A friend of mine used to give me a hard time about "negotiating fishing time".  We had an argument about it one time and I told him that I didn't feel that it was right to not take my wife into concideration.  He told me that you had to lay down the law and do what you want to do.  Well he is now seperated and on his way to divorce.  

[cart7t]

Ask for "permission" ?  :-? ........hmmmmmm, NOPE   :

Checking with the better half to see if there is an event we committed to

and.....

Absolutely.

Back when we were together, my wife was the socialite.  I always checked with her to make sure my fishing wasn't going to conflict with a social outing.  I also made sure anything I was responsible for doing around the house was done.  House repairs, car repairs, etc.

Otherwise.

I inform her I'm fishing and where, when I expect to return and where I can be reached in case there's an emergency.

Otherwise, she's never had a problem.  

She should've known anyway.  Back when we were first dating she had to move from one apartment to another.  The Saturday she was supposed to move I had a tournament scheduled......  

I fished the tournament and she moved without me.  

[RoLo]

The ONLY time I need my wife's permission to fish,

is during those rare occasions when she's not included.

Roger

[Micro]

I read in another thread where a member was upset with a fishing partner who always had to get his wife's permission to fish. For some reason this struck me as odd.

My wife is the mother of my 4 girls, the manager of the house, she pays the bills on time, buys the groceries, and keeps the schedule for all 6 of us. Plus she has a regular job where she works as hard as I do. The last thing I would think to do would be to go fishing without clearing it with her. If I did, I'd probably miss my own child's graduation.

I'm guessing I went fishing 40 to 50 times in 2007, sometimes all day, sometimes just an hour or two. I also go on 2, 4 day fishing trips every year. But I never go without permission.

So...does this make me ?

No.  And well said.  

[burleytog]

No comment. :-X

The new Shriley is probably a better person, but the old Burley was way funnier. Nice to see you getting in touch with your feminine side.

:-X says everything.  

You know, maybe I will comment.

Far too many men don't have wives, they have second mothers.

[Bassnajr]

Its been said a few times...

PERMISSION WAS THE WRONG WORD TO USE!!!!

We get it!!

If you have a girlfriend, wife, significent other, what ever, and you don't communicate your plans (both ways) it's just plain rude.

bassnajr

[Guest avid]

Far too many men don't have wives, they have second mothers.

;D ;D He's BAAAAAAAaaaaaack  ;D ;D

[burleytog]

Far too many men don't have wives, they have second mothers.

;D ;D He's BAAAAAAAaaaaaack ;D ;D

I never left my geriatric snowbird. ;D

All your page 8's are belong to me!  

[bigdog]

So...does this make me?

Another name for a "kitty cat"?

8-)

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :o :o

[Fishin-Psyantist]

Hey fishing P any chance you could take the 13 yr old old w/o the dad on occasion?

Ill Check into that.

[Geronimo]

Ha, well it could mean that, but more than likely it just means there is a good balance in your family life.

[RiskKid.]

Permission???? Maybe I can learn something here.....seems like I'm too much of a catch and release guy......I catch one every now and then but they release me after a while.....wonder if this could be an issue