MOOK SIDE OF THE SAGA 100% The Truth

[Guest the_muddy_man]

Ok here it goes: Muddy and Ron get the keys to the boat. It has a foot controlled trolling motor up front and a consoled steering 40 HP outboard with a trim on it. Ron got a fast explanation from Rick( the d^^K) boat rental guy and to top it off the trolling motor was defective.

 Me and Ron had never been in a power boat that wasn't tiller steered. We fired up the engine and headed out, so we thought. Ron get's the boat straight and pointed out to the lake, and opens it up all the way and all I can see is the sky.   The boat is straight up and we are going relatively fast and we can't see anything in front of us. Ron says "Hey Dominick take the front seat off" I say "What %^ difference is that going to make the boat is still in the way."

 LBH and Brent come over and they look like their watching a Marx Bros. routine they are laughing so loud. LBH comes in the boat and asked if we were having trouble, which is like asking Don King if he's having a bad hair day!  I say " No trouble, just can't see were the &%&T we are going" He asked if we trimmed the engine and of course We didnt have a scissors so how could we trim the engine.So he shows us what to do and tells me and Ron to follow em out on to Fork and the wind is blowing up to 40mph gusts.

 So like the 2 mooks we are, dressed in only tee shirts and shorts ( Im trying to figure out why Brent and Russ have Rain Gear on , on a clear day) follow them Of course there doin about 100mph and our top speed is 25mph and all of a sudden a good portion of the lake is coming in on top of me and Ron. Im talking soaked!!!! I kept asking Ron to follow further back b/c I think thats whats causing the problem. Finally they stop and by the time we cough up to them we looked like we just got out of the Maytag after the rinse cycle. Im spitting water outta my mouth and I swear this to be true Water was running out of Ron's ears.Again Russ and Brent are falling outta their drawers with laughter, I thought it was funny myself

 Now its time to fish so Ron asks me to go up front to work the trooling motor. So I pull the cord and down it goes and now the source of the problem I have no idea how to steer it. So I step on what I think is the gas pedal for it ( It looks just like a &*%%*& Gas Pedal) and mash it completely down and we take off in a continuous right turning circle. I tried to turn the top of the motor by hand I dont have even a clue All i know is I step on the pedal and we keep going in a right handed circle. Well Russ and Brent, who have by now given up on fishing having found 2 mooks in a boat to be more entertaining than the monsters of Lake Fork are coming in on us fast . Im really getting frustrated because Russ is moving his boat right to us, I see him steppin on his pedal and his boat is going straight and Im freaking mad. If that motor wasnt attached to the boat i would have been paying for a new on because i would have thrown it in the lake by now.

 They get up to us and Russ once again jumps into our boat and Im ticked off because hes just laughing but Brent is literally howling at this point

 Im so &^&*&$% Mad at this point I want to tell Russ no matter what i do i step on the gas pedal and it will go fast but only goes to the right What I said next winds up making BassResource.com history

 Russ asks what the problem is all I could get out was" the harder I press the righter we go!!!!" at which point Russ and Ron and Brent loose it completely and Im looking for something or someone to throw off the freaking boat!!!!!!Russ then explains about the direction arrow on the top of the motor head and rocking your foot back to go left and forward to go right. SO THATS WHAT THE &%&* PROBLEM was, NO ONE *$%(* EXPLAINED THAT TO ME. They werent hearing any excuses they were laughing to hard and it took a while for me to calm down and be able to laugh at myself and enjoy the moment. Now im stuck with having said it. But let me just put this in it's not like Ron was any big help either he wasn't exactly Popeye the sailor man back there!!!!!!!  

 So we see the hump we are looking for on the depth finder and i put down the trolling motor when we get to the shallow part of it. THE TROLLING MOTOR IS NOW DEAD!!!!!!!!! So Rons fires up the big motor and I forgot to pick up the tolling motor. We are finally starting to dry off and the sun feels good , we ain't really fishing anymore. We stopped watching the depth finder and we were in about 8 INCHES OF WATER. But me and Ron just kept going and we made our own channel. Russ and Brent were somewhere between Panic and Hysterics. If Rick showed up he would have been at the doctors getting his nose put back!

After we fished the area we start to head back to Fisherman's Cove , we are at top speed all of 25mph. Then the front seat of one of Ricks finest rentals comes dislodged and flies back hitting me in the chest, Ron stops the boat and once again Brant and Russ to the rescue. I have also discovered that hen the seat plowed into me it buried a set of treble hooks from a Rapala into my leg.  

This is the kind of sympathy you get in situations like this from BassResource.com members. Ron is calling me a big baby, Brent wants us to re-enact it for Russ to get it on Video, saying it's the sickest thing he's ever seen on the water and Russ is breaking em for me to move the seat so he can get a shot of the Rapala sticking out of my leg. The end of a perfect day

The moral of the story WHEN FISHING WITH MOOKS ALWAYS PRESUME THEY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT POWER BOATS AND SPEND SOME TIME TO SHOW EM HOW THINGS WORK. UNLESS YOU WANT MORE ENTERTAINMENT THAN A NIGHT AT THE BOURBON STREET FOLLIES

[Low_Budget_Hooker]

;D I'm friggin' cryin' over here!! Oh man.... ;D

I forgot about Brent asking if you could back up and do it again for the camera,...oh man,...

1 seventeen ft piece of crap express rental....$70/day

Texas fishing license.....................................$50

Gas from Brooklyn.......................................$300

Peeing your pants on the middle of a 27,000 acre lake,......priceless

[KU_Bassmaster.]

I just made it past the first 5 lines or so and I am laughing too hard to read the rest. I will have to come back to it. ;D ;D ;D

Scissors ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[NEBassMan]

OH MY GOD!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

I can't see anymore, sooooo many tears in my eyes!!!!

[Daniel My Brother]

This might be the funniest post I've ever read! We're not laughing at you, we're laughing wi...awe, who am I kidding.  ;D  ;D ;D

[Cigarlover 1]

Absolutely Hilarious!  ;D That is one heck of a story. Maybe we could sticky this thread.

"What not to do while operating a boat." LOL. That's awesome you can look back and laugh about it. A lot of guys would have let it ruin their whole day.

"Ron opens it up all the way and all I can see is sky" Classic.  ;D

[KU_Bassmaster.]

Finally finished it.  I had to leave again at the part you were trying to turn the head of the t/m by hand.

As the man himself would say  

[fish-fighting-illini]

B.A.S.S. might have " the " classic

But Muddy's post has to be the BR classic of all time

I'm laughing, my wife is shaking her head!

Sorry mud I have to borrow the text and send it in some e-mails or I will link them to the site.

[cart7t]

and to think it took Bill Dance a few YEARS to come up with the same amount of footage for his bloopers video that you produced in just ONE DAY!!   ;D

Good one Dom.   ;D

[Zel]

Thanks for the story muddy, I really needed a good laugh today.  So are the Mooks taking up flying next?

[Long Mike]

But let me just put this in it's not like Ron was any big help either he wasn't exactly Popeye the sailor man back there!!!!!!!

That one sentance got me to laughing so hard my stomach hurt.

[Painter Dude]

;D Not laughin at you but laughin with you!!!

Funny Stuff  

[Gotta Love It]

This week sucked for me... but this made it all better!!!  Thanks LBH for the video and thanks Muddy for the story!!!  ;D

[Jimzee]

Thank you Muddy,  you made my day!!!  

[bigdog]

HOLY CRAP,To fricken funny, Sorry LBH but the video has nothing on that story.Muddy I'm sorry to have such a good laugh on your expense but d**n THAT WAS FUNNY.

[Glenn]

I hope y'all know Muddy is laughing right along with us.  After he calmed down, he and Ron were laughing just as hard as we were!

Ok, I have to tell you one story that gives you some insight into just how funny Muddy really is.  On the last morning we were there, we all went out to breakfast.  When the waitress first approached our table, she cheerfully said, "Where ya'll from?", and we all kinda chuckled.  She looked perplexed, so I said, "Sound off".  What followed was string of cities and states that sounded like we were taking turns reading the Almanac.  

She finally stopped us and said, "And you're all here together?!  But... how do you ya'll know one another?"

And without so much as missing a beat, Muddy says, "Our father got around!!"  

Oh man!  My stomach hurt after that!

[George Welcome]

That's it Muddy - any stitches that have popped in my chest are your responsibilities. Will send you the bill.

[burleytog]

And without so much as missing a beat, Muddy says, "Our father got around!!"

[Gatorbassman]

Oh man, I could hear and read that story a hundred times and still bust a gut. Muddy you are a great man. I totally enjoyed the short time we fished togeather.

[Catt]

Muddy Muddy Muddy  :-[

What can I say!  :

I want my baits back  

[fish-fighting-illini]

Today's episode of A day on the lake was from Lake fork. If it is any consolation the guy took 4 hrs w/o a bite. He then started having luck ( he is a pro afterall) in whie Oak (?) somethin or other and Birch Creek?

I think they usualy back this up in BASS magazine.

Too bad this episode didn't come out before the trip!

[Low_Budget_Hooker]

Yea, I saw that too, white oak and birch.  It was fall/winter time I think though.

Nice Hawg he landed too.

[Guest the_muddy_man]

Catt I PM'd You I want to say this here again This was beyond my wildest dreams. He hooked me up with a bunch of baits! This is the help I got from all the Fellas and Ladies

AVID AND LBH giving me the confidence to do it at all

Alpster wrapped a rod for me and let me and Ron ride and camp with him THE ONLY WAY I COULD AFFORD THE TRIP and gave me and Ron the boat for a day to fish WHICH LED TO THE STORYan

RW great company, a place to stay, BEST RIBS AND CHILI ON THE PLANET,he and his lovely wife opened thier home to us, and he deputized me into the Shimano Posse with a reel

RiskKid who is proof that all Yankee fans aint that bad Opened his house to us, made us steaks fit for a king,PETTIS,and my mook fishing cap

LBH AND BRENT:thanks for the baits and following us around to make fun of me all day Did every thing they could to put me on fish and the chicken in a tree jingle.

Long Mikefor puttin on fish and what I want to be like when I grow up

Glenn And Kerifor the encouragement and for catchin a 9.1 right after me and Flukey went over the spot right before he did

TbTex and Denise the best neighbors at the Marina and CHERRY DUMPLINGS that rocked

and to all that made this trip each of you made it happen

08 NO EXCUSES

[Catt]

Muddy I had no inclination as to your finical needs; it just struck me one night to send you those baits so I did. I totally believe it was God's leadership that lead me to this web site and that his hand is on this place. Sorry Glenn I know not to discuss religion; but how could someone explain the feelings found among such a wide diversity of members.

[.ghoti.]

scissors ?? to trim the motor?? ;D   ;D ;D

Thanks for sharing. It takes a real man to laugh at himself.

Cheers,

GK

Now that you've got that out of your system, I hope you have a marvelous fishing season this year.