Children these days...

[BASSclary]

Has anyone else notice how kids these days are treating there elders?

MOST OF THEM HAVE NO RESPECT FOR THEIR PARENTS WHAT SO-EVER!

My theory is that children aren't disciplined like they used to be. Im NOT for child ABUSE, but you have to spank them IMO.

I know from a child's perspective, I WOULD do bad things as an older child when discipline went away, because I knew I was gonna have to take a "Time out" for 5 minutes. Time outs are the biggest load of Soup if you ask me. In my younger child-hood I didn't do much bad stuff because I knew when I got home I was gonna get an *** beating when my parents found out. And this was the time when your parents gave your neighbors permission to discipline you. And I respect my elders, while I feel some kids now-a-days do not.

For example my uncle has 2 kids and doesnt even give them time outs. His son is 8 and kicks everything in the balls, and his dad just says "no, dont do that", and the kid does it all the time because there are NO consequences for his actions. On this past Christmas Eve party at my grandmothers the little snot BIT me in my lower-mid back! And it seems all kids are like this these days.

I don't know if this post is off limits, but I need to rant about it because i'm getting SO fed up with kids that have ZERO respect for anybody around them.

What do you guys think about the whole, "new" (or lack there of) style of discipline?

[lynyrdsky1]

I know what your saying my parents would woop the nuts out of me if i miss behave haha they still do and im almost 18. I know neighbor hood kids who are younger and they r spoiled and some know it and take advantage of it. i never got anything given to me and i sitll dont. Haha my parents tho have been notorious tho white lie to get me to do something when i was younger but its fine i understand. tho i wish they figure out that lieing to me know is near pointless cause ill do what they tell me aslong as they tell me the truth. Sorry gettin kinda side track

[BASSclary]

My parents used to also use white lies to get me to do things! But now they dont because they know if they ask me to do something i'll do it.

[Daddyodo]

The crap that we are told is that "we don't want to hurt their self-esteem." :'( What a load of bovine scatology! From the time my girls first started learning how to walk my wife and I have taught them the concept of discipline and respect. I am proud to say that we do not have to do much if any scolding in public. take care of business at home and you won't have to out in the world. By the way, even though my girls are 9 and 12 they know they are not too old to spank. :D (come to think of it, can't remember the last time I had too ) One last thing BASSclary, used correctly 1-2-3 timeout can be very effective.

[MMan16]

I definately agree kids are getting out of control. Some of the stuff I see them doing is just unreal. And the way they talk. I have a few younger kids (-10) in my family and they swear like its there job. When I was there age I was afraid to use words like d**n there coming out with words I wouldn't use around my parents now and I'm 28. Kids need to be kept at a short leash or else they head on a donward spiral. 

[Daddyodo]

They will only do what the parents let them get away with. :-/

[Senkoman12]

i know what you mean. i have had 7yr olds tell me to f*** off. i was about ready to smack them. i also know a kid my age who spit in his dad's face when he was 4 and the father just said thats not nice. if i ever did that to my father i wouldnt feel my rear end for a month

[FishingBuds]

there are people that shouldn't breed!

There are people that are parents and they don't wanna be, nor should they.

I can't stand when parents DO NOT discipline a child.

Im not perfect and have over reacted at times, but two things I always stuck with on my kids, they know I do not allow them to pout or wine, and most important is to listen to me the first time, theres many a good reasons for this and heres just a few

Pouting & winning

1. If they don't get something at the store they move on

2. if i say no to any sleep overs, they move on

3. I f i say enough on video games today, they move on.

Listen to me the first time

1. (true story)we are in a parking lot and i see a car coming and my toddler wants to take off running, well instead of hollering and hollering for him or her to stop because they slipped out of my hand or I had no chance to grab their hand and see my kid get hit by a car I can just say hold up and my kid stays next to me and we watch the car go by and he or she is safe

2.(true story) if my toddlers are helping daddy unload camping chairs and one is opened and a huge wasp nest is on it and they start to swarm I can easily say RUN KIDS and they run off immediately and no one gets stung

Now thats easy when they are 10 and younger, its allowing them to grow thats harder. My hope & Theory is, at this point of 10yrs old they understand how they should properly act and react with parents and elders. then release the reigns just a little so they can grow into who they are.

:'(

One other thing, I never encouraged my kids to be friendly to strangers when they was under 10. I can explain this, when a stranger came up and said "oh your so cute what grade you in?" I never encouraged them to answer. they don't need to be that friendly, polite but not friendly-IMHO on these kind of days not to be friendly to strangers at 10 and younger.

this got too deep, so I need to quit

[slonezp]

Define kids. I only say this because you're a kid.

When I was a kid, pre 13 or 14, I was disciplined via the "belt". I was never beaten and was never hit without deserving it. I'd get disciplined twice. Once from my mother, for the crime, and then from my father for upsetting my mother. My grandmother used to say that my folks never beat us enough ;D. Fast forward to when my son was 3 or 4(he's now 20) I still remember pushing him in the grocery cart at the store. He was getting out of line and I remember him yelling "Don't crack me dad, don't crack me" I never beat him and he was never disiplined without deserving it.

My sisters kids (8 and 10) get away with murder. She gives them time outs, but the kids have learned if they keep bothering mommy or daddy they'll let them go free because they don't want to listen to it.

IMO it's not how you discipline, it's that you discipline AND, most importantly, you are consistant. It's like training a dog. If you are consistant the training should work.

Lastly, respect for your elders and anyone in general is taught at home. If 2 moron people make a kid, money says the kids going to be a moron too.

[Grey Wolf]

A lot of young parents that I know , need their arses kicked for their permissive child care.

[SoFlaBassAddict]

I've had to whack each of my daughters once. That's it. I was a horrible child. I got in serious trouble all the time. I got my butt whipped. It sure as hell didn't change how I acted at the time. Although now that I look at it as an adult, I can understand. I'm not going to say that I'm against spanking, but frequently it is used more out of frustration than anything. Maybe it's because of the discipline I learned in the Army. It could be the fact that I'm a big scary lookin dude, especially to a pair of seven year olds. I'm very strict when it comes to discipline with my daughters. If I need to say something more than twice, there is a problem.  I've never had a single problem with them in public. I'm merely loud and very assertive when I need to be. Don't mistake what I'm saying though.  I'm generally very laid back with them.  They know what line they better not cross.  Are there times when I want to rear back and just smack the heck out of them? Sure. I think I can accomplish more using different methods.

There sure are a lot of straight up stupid kids though that need some sense knocked into them. The gap between my generation and my kids generation is chock full of just dumb kids. Personally, I blame the parents. Children aren't born bad. Bad parenting makes for bad kids.

[bilgerat]

Define kids. I only say this because you're a kid.

When I was a kid, pre 13 or 14, I was disciplined via the "belt". I was never beaten and was never hit without deserving it. I'd get disciplined twice. Once from my mother, for the crime, and then from my father for upsetting my mother. My grandmother used to say that my folks never beat us enough ;D. Fast forward to when my son was 3 or 4(he's now 20) I still remember pushing him in the grocery cart at the store. He was getting out of line and I remember him yelling "Don't crack me dad, don't crack me" I never beat him and he was never disciplined without deserving it.

My sisters kids (8 and 10) get away with murder. She gives them time outs, but the kids have learned if they keep bothering mommy or daddy they'll let them go free because they don't want to listen to it.

IMO it's not how you discipline, it's that you discipline AND, most importantly, you are consistant. It's like training a dog. If you are consistant the training should work.

Lastly, respect for your elders and anyone in general is taught at home. If 2 moron people make a kid, money says the kids going to be a moron too.

Right on. My wife and I get complimented often on how well behaved our daughters (14 and 12) are, like it's some kind of miracle or something It's real simple. They learned early on we don't take bs.

We laugh at the over educated "experts" (I hate that word) that preach against discipline and think time outs and discussions are the way to go. You can see the results of that way of thinking everywhere you go anymore. Ever watch a kid rip mom or dad a new one in public when something doesn't go their way ? And they stand there and take it ?

Makes me want to slap the parents and then the kid...

[SoFlaBassAddict]

Define kids. I only say this because you're a kid.

When I was a kid, pre 13 or 14, I was disciplined via the "belt". I was never beaten and was never hit without deserving it. I'd get disciplined twice. Once from my mother, for the crime, and then from my father for upsetting my mother. My grandmother used to say that my folks never beat us enough ;D. Fast forward to when my son was 3 or 4(he's now 20) I still remember pushing him in the grocery cart at the store. He was getting out of line and I remember him yelling "Don't crack me dad, don't crack me" I never beat him and he was never disciplined without deserving it.

My sisters kids (8 and 10) get away with murder. She gives them time outs, but the kids have learned if they keep bothering mommy or daddy they'll let them go free because they don't want to listen to it.

IMO it's not how you discipline, it's that you discipline AND, most importantly, you are consistant. It's like training a dog. If you are consistant the training should work.

Lastly, respect for your elders and anyone in general is taught at home. If 2 moron people make a kid, money says the kids going to be a moron too.

Ever watch a kid rip mom or dad a new one in public when something doesn't go their way ? And they stand there and take it ?

Makes me want to slap the parents and then the kid...

God help my kids if they ever do that to me.  I'll bring the right hand of God down on them for something like that.

[Scorcher214]

I'm not a kid, but i guess the correct term would be young adult (17). I was spanked a few times when i was little but they stopped doing it. Then it was the "1......2........" I didn't know what was going to happen at 3 but i didn't really wanna find out. She still pulls it on me, still works >.

[flippin and pitchin]

My local school district just dismissed the high school principal because the results of the state's testing process that measures the what students learning levels are, was low and they might loose federal grant money in the district.  Some districts terminated almost entire staffs. This was a tragedy.  The man was an excellent educator and administrator.  The reason for low scores ?  Get up and eat breakfast and prepare for a day of learning PARENT ?  NO. Get kids to school on time PARENT ?  NO.  Have students do homework and required projects PARENT ?  NO.  Provide consequences for poor grades PARENT ?  NO.  Lead by example PARENT ?  YES.  Unfortunately the example is an example of apathy and entitlement, lack of respect for authority and reinforcement of defiance, lack of personal accountability and self.  So much for sociology according to me.

[slonezp]

Define kids. I only say this because you're a kid.

When I was a kid, pre 13 or 14, I was disciplined via the "belt". I was never beaten and was never hit without deserving it. I'd get disciplined twice. Once from my mother, for the crime, and then from my father for upsetting my mother. My grandmother used to say that my folks never beat us enough ;D. Fast forward to when my son was 3 or 4(he's now 20) I still remember pushing him in the grocery cart at the store. He was getting out of line and I remember him yelling "Don't crack me dad, don't crack me" I never beat him and he was never disciplined without deserving it.

My sisters kids (8 and 10) get away with murder. She gives them time outs, but the kids have learned if they keep bothering mommy or daddy they'll let them go free because they don't want to listen to it.

IMO it's not how you discipline, it's that you discipline AND, most importantly, you are consistant. It's like training a dog. If you are consistant the training should work.

Lastly, respect for your elders and anyone in general is taught at home. If 2 moron people make a kid, money says the kids going to be a moron too.

Ever watch a kid rip mom or dad a new one in public when something doesn't go their way ? And they stand there and take it ?

Makes me want to slap the parents and then the kid...

God help my kids if they ever do that to me. I'll bring the right hand of God down on them for something like that.

My sisters kids don't mess with me or my mother.  I have never disciplined them more than sending them to their rooms. They know I do not give in. They don't waste their time arguing with me . They've tried in the past but realized it doesn't work. Parents have to make an impact on the kids when they're young.

[Red]

My wife and I do not have any kids of our own, however, about three years ago her brothers two boys came to live with us, and about two years ago we won full legal custody of them.  Their parents are required to pay ME child support, however that is not happening.  Anyway, the older boy learned quickly after a few butt whoopins, so now he is great for the most part.  No scenes in public, does what he is told, and is an A student.  He is eight years old.  His brother on the other hand is still learning.  I can whoop him and he will go and do the same thing he just got whooped for!!  But I have made some progress, the whoopins don't work, but take away his time and toys!!  If he is bad at school, he gets nothing but sitting in his room with books ONLY!!  No TV, no games, etc etc.  Going to bed early for misbehaving is another good one for him.  He went through a temper tantrum phase, one time in public after a baseball game.  Our plan at that point was to just act like he wasn't there.  We did and he just screamed and followed us to the car and we went home.  That worked wonders, he got zero attention when he was having a tantrum, he did it once more after that and hasn't since.  He is six years old and he is doing better in school this year than he did last year.  Like I said I don't have any kids, me and my wife just kinda jumped right in and we hope we are doing the right things the right way.  I know one thing for sure, they are better off now than they would if they had to be raised by their idiot parents!!

Cliff

P.S. We are looking into adoption(have both parents agreeing to give up all rights) but the cost of the lawyers and stuff is setting us back right now.  Combined, their parents are over $10,000 behind in child support.

[pa mountain man]

I was a terrible child as I look back, my parents never diciplined me. I recieved all of my values from the ARMY, and they did a very thurough job of it.

Up until my son was 4, he had a few spankings, but that didn't work too well for him. He is a mechanical genius at age 5, I let him run the controls on the backhoe and excavator, and he always remembers what does what. The last time I used a log splitter(rented one a while ago), he refused to clean his toys up before he knew I was getting it. I asked him if that was his final choice, and he said "yes sir" I said ok, and picked up the splitter. When I got home, his jaw dropped, and he was crushed he had to stay in the house all day to clean his toys, and fill a lawn and leaf bag full of his choice of toys for good will. He learned that if he doesn't get his work done, he can't help run the equipment, and he lost some toys over it, he hasn't acted up since.

On a side note: I picked up a free "parts" mower a few weeks ago, and that boy has had it in a 1,000 pieces, and put it all back together at the age of 5. It may not sound like much, but as a maintenance mechanic, it brought a tear to this papa's eye. 8-)

[Daddyodo]

I wish you the best Cliff. Keep up the good work. Despite what you may have heard kids want boundaries, they want to know there are a set of rules. Those rules let them know they are loved and cared for. I truly believe if a kid is acting like a fool and getting away with it it is because they have a fool for a parent. True story: I used to manage a retail store and one day a mom dad and Jr come into the store. Mom and dad are looking for shoes for dad and while they are doing that Jr. is running all over the store knocking into displays and taking stuff off the shelves and just leaving them on the floor. I asked the kid to stop but he would not listen so I asked the parents to stop him before something was damaged. The parents got angry that I asked them to control their child and basically did nothing. My coworker is getting so ticked off he has to go out and smoke a cigarette before he kills the kid.Long story short, just as he comes back in the store Jr knocks over a glass vase and breaks it > We had to stop everything too clean up the glass( being a shoe store don't want glass in the carpet) all the while mom and dad do nothing! We get all the glass picked up and the parents bring the shoe to the counter to pay. I had quoted them the price of the shoe as 150.00 earlier but as I was ringing them up I charged them 200.00. The mom says I thought you said the shoe was 150, why are you charging me 200? so I say "the cost of the vase your son broke is 50 bucks will that be cash or charge? She say's she is not going to pay for it because it was an accident. I respond with "that was no accident, you allowed your child to run around this store like he was outside playing what did you expect? She again said that they were not going to pay for it so I said fine Have a nice day and please do not come back. Now who's fault was this, the childs or the parents? :o

[bassnleo]

I'm like most of y'all.

My 4 year old is learning discipline and respect. My wife and I refuse to have it any other way. There have already been numerous times that we have absolutely stopped what we are doing and disciplined or took away something that our daughter wanted or wanted to do. Example, we made it all the way to the parking lot of a restraunt one evening. Our daughter had a toy with her that she insisted on bringing in. It just wasn't the place for a toy. We told her twice to leave it in the car. When she said she was bringing it, I put her back in the car seat and we drove home, no dinner out. She cried the whole way home because she wanted to eat out. Sure, we the parents wanted to eat out also and suffered as well but if that's what it takes, then so be it. She rarely talks back now......

Now, on the subject of lack of discipline, you'd be absolutely amazed what I've seen. I've had calls at work to see complainants about problems with kids. We show up and it's parents wanting US, THE POLICE to discipline their kids. What a crock, accept responsibility and do it yourself. You were adult enough to have kids, man up, I'm not your kids parent YOU ARE.

I refuse to scare a child, not my job. The last thing I want is for a child to be afraid of Police.

And, may I add, I was on the receiving end of a belt, paddle (even in grade school, LOL), and hand, many times. I deserved each and every swat I got. Not condoning abuse but IMHO there is something to be said about a good swat from time to time.

[bocabasser]

Has anyone else notice how kids these days are treating there elders?

MOST OF THEM HAVE NO RESPECT FOR THEIR PARENTS WHAT SO-EVER!

My theory is that children aren't disciplined like they used to be. Im NOT for child ABUSE, but you have to spank them IMO.

I know from a child's perspective, I WOULD do bad things as an older child when discipline went away, because I knew I was gonna have to take a "Time out" for 5 minutes. Time outs are the biggest load of Soup if you ask me. In my younger child-hood I didn't do much bad stuff because I knew when I got home I was gonna get an *** beating when my parents found out. And this was the time when your parents gave your neighbors permission to discipline you. And I respect my elders, while I feel some kids now-a-days do not.

For example my uncle has 2 kids and doesnt even give them time outs. His son is 8 and kicks everything in the balls, and his dad just says "no, dont do that", and the kid does it all the time because there are NO consequences for his actions. On this past Christmas Eve party at my grandmothers the little snot BIT me in my lower-mid back! And it seems all kids are like this these days.

I don't know if this post is off limits, but I need to rant about it because i'm getting SO fed up with kids that have ZERO respect for anybody around them.

What do you guys think about the whole, "new" (or lack there of) style of discipline?

so what you are saying, is that your grandparents did a bad job raising your uncle? no disrespect, but isn't behavior learned? i have no idea how your uncle is raising his kids, but for a 15 year old to suggest that "it seems ALL kids are like this these days" is laughable.

i have 2 kids, 4 and 6. i am responsible for MY kids and only MY kids. when i see kids acting the way you say "most kids" act, i use it as a learning tool for my own children. my mother (no dad because he split when i was 7) used to get compliments all the time about how me, my sister and brother were so well behaved. she was taught by her parents how to raise children. i learned (still learning) how to raise my kids by the way i was taught by my mom.

when you have children of your own ( and hopefully not anytime soon), you will realize that raising kids is an incredibly tough job.

one way you can show your uncles kids proper behavior is to model it and not judge or complain about it. you are a young man and i am sure you will someday be a great parent, but in the meantime, don't sweat the small stuff.

[Bassn Blvd]

I'm like most of y'all.

My 4 year old is learning discipline and respect. My wife and I refuse to have it any other way. There have already been numerous times that we have absolutely stopped what we are doing and disciplined or took away something that our daughter wanted or wanted to do. Example, we made it all the way to the parking lot of a restraunt one evening. Our daughter had a toy with her that she insisted on bringing in. It just wasn't the place for a toy. We told her twice to leave it in the car. When she said she was bringing it, I put her back in the car seat and we drove home, no dinner out. She cried the whole way home because she wanted to eat out. Sure, we the parents wanted to eat out also and suffered as well but if that's what it takes, then so be it. She rarely talks back now......

Now, on the subject of lack of discipline, you'd be absolutely amazed what I've seen. I've had calls at work to see complainants about problems with kids. We show up and it's parents wanting US, THE POLICE to discipline their kids. What a crock, accept responsibility and do it yourself. You were adult enough to have kids, man up, I'm not your kids parent YOU ARE.

I refuse to scare a child, not my job. The last thing I want is for a child to be afraid of Police.

And, may I add, I was on the receiving end of a belt, paddle (even in grade school, LOL), and hand, many times. I deserved each and every swat I got. Not condoning abuse but IMHO there is something to be said about a good swat from time to time.

You mean to tell me you get those kind of calls too ;D? The ones that REALLY, REALLY pee me off are the kids who act up in public and the parent says "If you don't behave, I'll have that policeman arrest you." I wish I could smack the parent upside the head for saying that.

Only once, did I somewhat step in to help out a parent. The lady was a single parent who's son was medicated for behavioral problems and had no father figure and VERY few friends his age. I figured it was easier to stop by their house during my patrol and hang out with the kid for a bit to see how his day was going and help him catch a few lizards (he loved reptiles) then have to respond for a domestic. But honestly, I felt kind of bad for both the mom and kid.

[Bassn Blvd]

BocaBasser,  Your mom must have been/is a wonderful person.  Lord knows she had her hands full.

[tbird]

Wise sayings from two very wise men

"Adjust a small sapling when small to keep it straight because once it becomes a large tree it cannot be straightened out"

"Spare the rod and spoil the child"

Wise words for parents...As the father of 4 kids over 20 I followed those rules and it works.

                  T

[Micro]

I have two kids, a 12 year old and a 15 year old.

My 12 year old is well mannered, well behaved, and has produced a bumper-full of honor-roll stickers. He's in advanced classes, has a working command of spanish, and started teaching himself german over the summer, and now can speak in most basic terms in german. He aspires to be a Navy Seal.

My 15 year old is exactly the opposite. He doesn't like school and never has. He's a chronic skipper. He's in 9th grade for the second year. He's currently suspended for cussing his teacher. He's gotten in trouble for stealing a bike and throwing a home for-sale sign in a creek. He's gone into rages and smashed things in our home. He's now 6'2' and nearly 200 lbs. He's gotten a lifetime of *** whippings, had most of his personal property taken away by me, including his bedroom door. He's been in therapy and medicated. Still, he shows no respect for his parents or adults. I've even had police officers tell me that if I beat him to withn an inch of his life they wouldn't do anything to me about it. That's how rotten he can be.

These boys grew up in the same house, with the same parents, rules and discipline. One responded, one didn't. One day I'll be attending one of my son's graduations from a military academy, I'll be visiting the other in prison.

Sometimes a kid's brain is wired differntly. All the *** whoopins in the world, all the demand for respect, all the parenting just doesn't work. Ultimately they are their own animal. One day they will pay their own price for their selfishness and the parent will wash their hands of them.