Super User SPEEDBEAD. Posted July 15, 2010 Super User Posted July 15, 2010 See what occurs when you allow others to guess the facts of your situation? First "mistake" would be doing whatever it is you did. Second "mistake" would be asking 25000 strangers for advice. Third "mistake" would be getting defensive when those strangers assume the worst about you due to your own lack of disclosure. Good lesson for you going forward and GROWING UP.
Eddie Munster Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Preface my statement with this: I have two daughters 18/16 who I didn't let date until they turned 16. My wife and I drove them to/from school everyday and keep them involved in church. They are under constant ADULT supervision or were until they turn 16. If you had sexual contact with my daughter in ANY way before the legal age of consent (which it sounds like you did with that girl), your butt would be facing prosecution and you'd be a registered sex offender for the rest of your life. If that happened, good luck trying to get a good job, live anywhere you want, etc..... If he under 17 when it happened it most likely could be dropped on his 18th birthday. : But again, every state is different, sooooo. Who cares, the girl's father seems to accept his apology, so quit busting his balls. I think some parents should take a long hard look at both their daughter and son. I think some father still think their daughter are princess and it all the boys fault....Totally wrong. It not always the boys. I've met girls like that. I'm sure those of you that are a father right now have met girls like that. Things are not always what it seems. Not 'busting his balls' but rather trying to wake his butt up to how bad his life could be screwed up messing around with an UNDERAGED girl regardless of consent which he admits that he coerced her into doing whatever it was in public.. IT IS A VERY SERIOUS CRIME. Comprende? As far as his slate being wiped clean at 18, you're right; every state's different. Here in Georgia it stays on your record so he'd be a registered offender FOR LIFE.
Super User Grey Wolf Posted July 15, 2010 Super User Posted July 15, 2010 See what occurs when you allow others to guess the facts of your situation? First "mistake" would be doing whatever it is you did. Second "mistake" would be asking 25000 strangers for advice. Third "mistake" would be getting defensive when those strangers assume the worst about you due to your own lack of disclosure. Good lesson for you going forward and GROWING UP. Excellant advice SPEEDBEAD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fish-fighting-illini Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Man how about everyone take a breath? lol other - don't take it all personal some are just having some fun at your expense. Some is confusion as you are trying to be discrete to respect the girl. Some are offering excellent advice. For instance, things have changed since the old days. You can get yourself in some serious PERMANENT trouble nowadays so don't take that lightly & I don't recommend using Root Beer's legal advice as being the letter of the law (no offense RB ). As far as the maturity thing it was kind of a figure of speech not meant nor expressed as a scientific fact. What I meant was along the lines of the old adage that boys / men have 2 brains and that in the early years especially the pointed one gets used a lot more than the basketball shaped one! I know it worked that way for me and a lot of others back in the day. As a parent ea one has to decide what they think is right in raising their children. Except for very special circumstances a 1yr age difference is my wife and I's limit ( she's in fact a year older than me ! lol ). The girl was younger but she made a mistake as well, it takes 2 as they say. You've handled the aftermath fairly well at this point just learn from your mistakes and remember to think with the brain that is attached to your shoulders not the other one. Good luck, FFI - AKA Matt Crum
Super User burleytog Posted July 15, 2010 Super User Posted July 15, 2010 Preface my statement with this: I have two daughters 18/16 who I didn't let date until they turned 16. My wife and I drove them to/from school everyday and keep them involved in church. They are under constant ADULT supervision or were until they turn 16. If you had sexual contact with my daughter in ANY way before the legal age of consent (which it sounds like you did with that girl), your butt would be facing prosecution and you'd be a registered sex offender for the rest of your life. If that happened, good luck trying to get a good job, live anywhere you want, etc..... If he under 17 when it happened it most likely could be dropped on his 18th birthday. : But again, every state is different, sooooo. Who cares, the girl's father seems to accept his apology, so quit busting his balls. I think some parents should take a long hard look at both their daughter and son. I think some father still think their daughter are princess and it all the boys fault....Totally wrong. It not always the boys. I've met girls like that. I'm sure those of you that are a father right now have met girls like that. Things are not always what it seems. Not 'busting his balls' but rather trying to wake his butt up to how bad his life could be screwed up messing around with an UNDERAGED girl regardless of consent which he admits that he coerced her into doing whatever it was in public.. IT IS A VERY SERIOUS CRIME. Comprende? As far as his slate being wiped clean at 18, you're right; every state's different. Here in Georgia it stays on your record so he'd be a registered offender FOR LIFE. Yeah, let's ruin someone's life because they got a little horny at 17 or 18. Getting a piece as a teenager should not make you a sex offender. That title should be reserved for those who like to rape and touch little boys.
Super User bilgerat Posted July 15, 2010 Super User Posted July 15, 2010 Twice within the last six months my wife has confronted older (40ish) men she caught eyeing my oldest daughter, who is 13. One was at the supermarket, the other at a gas station. You don't want to be on the receiving end of one of her tirades. Trust me on that one. If it ever happens when she is with me, he won't be looking at anybody until the swelling around his eyes subsides. It's just part of being a parent, especially of girls. We can tolerate boys within her age group "checking her out", we know it's going to happen. You did nothing different than a lot of us did at your age, so don't feel like you're getting piled on. Your perspective will perhaps change someday if you have kids. You made a mistake. Live and learn.
Eddie Munster Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Preface my statement with this: I have two daughters 18/16 who I didn't let date until they turned 16. My wife and I drove them to/from school everyday and keep them involved in church. They are under constant ADULT supervision or were until they turn 16. If you had sexual contact with my daughter in ANY way before the legal age of consent (which it sounds like you did with that girl), your butt would be facing prosecution and you'd be a registered sex offender for the rest of your life. If that happened, good luck trying to get a good job, live anywhere you want, etc..... If he under 17 when it happened it most likely could be dropped on his 18th birthday. : But again, every state is different, sooooo. Who cares, the girl's father seems to accept his apology, so quit busting his balls. I think some parents should take a long hard look at both their daughter and son. I think some father still think their daughter are princess and it all the boys fault....Totally wrong. It not always the boys. I've met girls like that. I'm sure those of you that are a father right now have met girls like that. Things are not always what it seems. Not 'busting his balls' but rather trying to wake his butt up to how bad his life could be screwed up messing around with an UNDERAGED girl regardless of consent which he admits that he coerced her into doing whatever it was in public.. IT IS A VERY SERIOUS CRIME. Comprende? As far as his slate being wiped clean at 18, you're right; every state's different. Here in Georgia it stays on your record so he'd be a registered offender FOR LIFE. Yeah, let's ruin someone's life because they got a little horny at 17 or 18. Getting a piece as a teenager should not make you a sex offender. That title should be reserved for those who like to rape and touch little boys. Not trying to get into an argument but at what age do you consider it wrong to 'get a piece' from a underaged girl then? 21? 31? 41? The person who potentially ruined this young man's life is HIMSELF. This 17 year old young man needs to realize there are consequences to his actions and in this case SEVERE consequences. He needs to either look for a girl 'of age' or keep his hands OFF this one. In fact, the parents are partly to blame for allowing their daughter to be unsupervised around boys PERIOD. No way I'd let him anywhere near my kid after this.
Other. Posted July 16, 2010 Author Posted July 16, 2010 Eddie, calm yourself. We did not do anything illegal. You make it sound like I raped her or something. As her boyfriend It's my job to protect her (one of the things we discussed) that's why I did not say what exactly went down. What her father is upset about is that her reputation went down and was presented as lower class. I'm probably going to tick you off Eddie but I'm choosing to stay with this girl. I like her. Eddie, how ticked off would you be if your 14 year old daughter: held hands with a guy Kissed a guy made out with a guy was held close by a guy Those are just basic things that can happen in a relationship, and they are not the end of the world.
Super User skunked_again Posted July 16, 2010 Super User Posted July 16, 2010 this is the exact place i would bring a problem like this if i was a 17 year old. that said, any of the guys on here not "dating" at 17 is either telling fish stories or have no idea what they were missing. i did however always date close to my age.
Super User burleytog Posted July 16, 2010 Super User Posted July 16, 2010 Yeah, let's ruin someone's life because they got a little horny at 17 or 18. Getting a piece as a teenager should not make you a sex offender. That title should be reserved for those who like to rape and touch little boys. Not trying to get into an argument but at what age do you consider it wrong to 'get a piece' from a underaged girl then? 21? 31? 41? The person who potentially ruined this young man's life is HIMSELF. This 17 year old young man needs to realize there are consequences to his actions and in this case SEVERE consequences. He needs to either look for a girl 'of age' or keep his hands OFF this one. In fact, the parents are partly to blame for allowing their daughter to be unsupervised around boys PERIOD. No way I'd let him anywhere near my kid after this. What does 21, 31, 41 have to do with anything? If you're 21 and screwing a 15 year old, then that's illegal by definition (statutory rape). But a 17/18 y/o and a 15/16 y/o girl? Nothing wrong with that. Abstinence is certainly the best policy, but like it or not, teens are going to hump. Been going on for as long as their's been P's and VG's. Branding a 17 y/o as a 'sex offender' for getting with a 15/16 y/o is just wrong and a gross misuse of the law.
=Matt 5.0= Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 Getting a piece as a teenager should not make you a sex offender. That title should be reserved for those who like to rape and touch little boys. Or... little girls? :-?
Super User burleytog Posted July 16, 2010 Super User Posted July 16, 2010 Getting a piece as a teenager should not make you a sex offender. That title should be reserved for those who like to rape and touch little boys. Or... little girls? :-? I thought that was assumed.
gobig Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 If you had sexual contact with my daughter in ANY way before the legal age of consent (which it sounds like you did with that girl), your butt would be facing prosecution and you'd be a registered sex offender for the rest of your life. If that happened, good luck trying to get a good job, live anywhere you want, etc..... A bit extreme. Should we stone people for swearing?
done Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 Eddie, calm yourself. We did not do anything illegal. You make it sound like I raped her or something. As her boyfriend It's my job to protect her (one of the things we discussed) that's why I did not say what exactly went down. What her father is upset about is that her reputation went down and was presented as lower class. I'm probably going to tick you off Eddie but I'm choosing to stay with this girl. I like her. Eddie, how ticked off would you be if your 14 year old daughter: held hands with a guy Kissed a guy made out with a guy was held close by a guy Those are just basic things that can happen in a relationship, and they are not the end of the world. Other, first let me say, I was dating my wife when I was 18 and she was 15. So I fully understand the hypocrisy in this. However, when you are talking about your own flesh and blood, what seems rational to you in your position, you will see things differently. You say it is your job to "protect" her. Take that feeling and ramp it up about 5,000 times stronger and you will get an idea how being a father to that little girl is. Something happens to you when you hold that little baby in the pink blanket in your hands, and even though she is 5'10" you always see that little girl. Being in your position about 20 years ago, I can say this hugging and kissing leads to other things. It does, it is human nature, and for some it changes their lives forever. We got extremely lucky we did not get in trouble. Hormones trump otherwise sound decision making capabilities. When you are a teen, even more so.
nick76 Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 Other.......it sounds like you got some good advice and some even better bad advice on this post. Sounds like you really like this girl and so now it is between her father and you. He made some decisions for you and you need to abide by his rules. If you cannot handle those rules then you have more choices to make. Remember though, the best worst case scenario you can hope for if you cannot obey his rules is an old fashioned butt whippin'. The other outcomes may forever be with you as a record. So keep your nose in check, obey his rules and you will be fine. If not....then move on. Many have commented here that the girl is at fault too. I would agree with them completely. I have a 16 yo daughter and even though she has not had sex with anyone yet she is tease. We have raised her to be mature and good thinking, but some days the hormones take over and prying her head out of her arse is impossible. I pitty the poor boy who thinks he is going to get the better end of that deal.
Eddie Munster Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 What does 21, 31, 41 have to do with anything? If you're 21 and screwing a 15 year old, then that's illegal by definition (statutory rape). But a 17/18 y/o and a 15/16 y/o girl? Nothing wrong with that. Not according to the law which is my point. Sexual contact with a 15 year old is ILLEGAL regardless of your age. If two 15 year olds had sex, BOTH could be charged with a crime. Can't make it any clearer than that. Eddie, calm yourself. We did not do anything illegal. You make it sound like I raped her or something. As her boyfriend It's my job to protect her (one of the things we discussed) that's why I did not say what exactly went down. What her father is upset about is that her reputation went down and was presented as lower class. I'm probably going to tick you off Eddie but I'm choosing to stay with this girl. I like her. Eddie, how ticked off would you be if your 14 year old daughter: held hands with a guy Kissed a guy made out with a guy was held close by a guy First off, I didn't make it seemed like you raped her. You said you 'lead her on to doing something we should not of done.' Pretty vague but if what you guys did was make out and hold each other, then you're right; you did nothing illegal. If you went further than that (sexual contact in ANY way; 2nd base for instance) then you're wrong. YOU (not her) did do something illegal. In regard to you staying with this girl; since it isn't my daughter, I could give a flip whether you stay with her. If I WAS her dad, it would be MY job to protect her (not yours) and you wouldn't be allowed anywhere near her. In regard to my daughter @ 14: I didn't leave my daughter alone with boys at 14 and I certainly wouldn't leave her around a 17 year old. Nothing like a 17 year old telling a 42 year old how the facts of life are. :
tyrius. Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 This 17 year old young man needs to realize there are consequences to his actions and in this case SEVERE consequences. He needs to either look for a girl 'of age' or keep his hands OFF this one. I dont' really know why I'm getting involved in this train wreck, but there is so much incorrect information that I can't help myself. Even if Other hit a home run he did nothing legally wrong. The age of consent laws for most states (Maryland included) take into account situations where there is little age difference between the two. http://blog.laborlawtalk.com/2006/11/09/maryland-age-of-consent-laws/ The age of consent in Maryland is 16. This is the age at which a man or woman may legally consent to heterosexual sex with someone over the age of 21. Maryland doesn't specify the age of consent for homosexual acts. The Maryland age of consent laws are complex. Like most states, Maryland does not have a single age of consent. Individuals as young as 14 years may consent to sex in Maryland, as long as the partner is no more than 4 years older. For example, a 14-year-old could legally have sex with her 16-year-old boyfriend in Maryland. However, she could not legally have sex with her boyfriend if he was 19 years old. These types of laws were introduced to protect young people from exploitation by mature adults.
dave Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 Nothing like a 17 year old telling a 42 year old how the facts of life are. I always love that.
Eddie Munster Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 Even if Other hit a home run he did nothing legally wrong. The age of consent laws for most states (Maryland included) take into account situations where there is little age difference between the two. I stand corrected........................in regard to the state of Maryland which is where he's at. So Other......have a ball! Just don't try it in Georgia because sometimes they don't care if you're a teenager as well: http://blog.laborlawtalk.com/2006/11/09/georgia-age-of-consent-laws/
Super User Grey Wolf Posted July 16, 2010 Super User Posted July 16, 2010 Irenes never around when you really need her !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eddie Munster Posted July 16, 2010 Posted July 16, 2010 Irenes never around when you really need her !!!!!!!!!!!!!! How old is she?!!!
BassResource.com Administrator Glenn Posted July 16, 2010 BassResource.com Administrator Posted July 16, 2010 This is better handled via PM. G'night.
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