Any strict scary dads out there?

[Other.]

I figured this place would be a good place to get some advice.

With out going into to much detail I screwed up with my GF and lead her on to doing something we should not of done. Her dad found out and he is not really to happy about it. I've decided to go and meet with him and the stepmother while my GF is away at camp and hope I don't get killed.

I just need to know how to act. I've meet them before and got them to love me, but I doubt they like me as much anymore. I do plan on acting rather submissive, telling him the whole story, and agreeing to something to some kind of term with her parents.

I am looking for any kind of advice how you fathers that have a natural hatred for young boys after their daughters what you would like me to say, do, etc. Because honestly I'm going to be scared ****less walking into that door alone.....

[slonezp]

If he's an NRA member...RUN ;D

[Nibbles]

Tell him that you understand that what you did was wrong, and that you are sorry. Acknowledge the fact that you are young and impulsive, and that you made a bad decision. Then ask for forgiveness. Just keep in mind that it's not only about them, but about your GF and their hopes and wishes for her as well - so don't dwell TOO much on what you can do solely for the parents.

[cart7t]

What you two did, was it like a multi-state, drunken melee involving a stolen car, lots of liquor and finally getting caught in some sleeze bag motel, both passed out on the floor naked???

If not I wouldn't worry about it.

[skunked_again]

im sure youll survive. i bet hes done the same thing, and if he hasnt its his loss.

[bilgerat]

I've got two daughters, although they're not at the boy stage yet (close).

The fact that you're planning to meet dad face to face and talk to him shows balls on your part. Good for you. He still might not like you when it's over, but he'll probably respect you for it. Be straight with him and look him in the eye.

Best of luck to you. You're gonna need it

[tbird]

I've got two daughters, although they're not at the boy stage yet (close).

The fact that you're planning to meet dad face to face and talk to him shows balls on your part. Good for you. He still might not like you when it's over, but he'll probably respect you for it. Be straight with him and look him in the eye.

Good advice above ......

I can tell you from personal experience when I was a teenager and got caught in the act by my girlfriends sister and run off at gun point that what I did and it worked was to have a sit down with the parents and be VERY sincere and apologetic.It worked for me. BTW I'm 54 years old and that wasn't the only time for that to happen to me in my life.

T

[Grey Wolf]

Be sincere with them and hope the old man doesn't kick your butt.

[Other.]

I just heard back from the stepmom. She said she will talk to the dad later today about me meeting with him. Also said there will now be trust issues and consequences. I don't kind of like the use of the word consequences. I just hope they don't make us break up.

I'm guessing I'll have to agree to some kind of terms while I'm there. I know to look in the eye, be respectful, and what ever he says is right. This sucks so much...

[done]

I just heard back from the stepmom. She said she will talk to the dad later today about me meeting with him. Also said there will now be trust issues and consequences. I don't kind of like the use of the word consequences. I just hope they don't make us break up.

I'm guessing I'll have to agree to some kind of terms while I'm there. I know to look in the eye, be respectful, and what ever he says is right. This sucks so much...

Yeah, as the father of 4 daughters (not yet dating age), i can tell ya, meeting with him, will get you some points. Depends a LOT on what you did wrong.

Couple things, first, be ready to lose. Be ready for him to say "Don't see my daughter again!". If you are sincere about the thing, you need to accept and abide by his decision.

Whatever the consequences are, take them like a man. Either way, you have lost trust, it will be a while to earn it back. Be patient, and respectful with him.

Also, if yo ucan still contact her, let your girl know you spoke with her father. You do not want her thinking she is some piece of property being bartered for by 2 men.

Good luck. I have been with my wife since she was 15. We made some mistakes. Her father (my father in law) is a 6' 10" union carpenter. He dresses like a biker and LOVES his little girls. Suffice to say I dreaded ticking him off.

[fathom]

actions speak louder than words.

any words you speak to them now will fall on deaf ears until such time as your actions back up those words.

[I.rar]

What you two did, was it like a multi-state, drunken melee involving a stolen car, lots of liquor and finally getting caught in some sleeze bag motel, both passed out on the floor naked???

If not I wouldn't worry about it.

x2.  ;D

if you really have feelings for this girl , make sure you let him know. im assuming you do to be going through the trouble of meeting her parents , but still.

let them know how you feel about the situation.

eye contact.

apologize.

more eye contact.

admit defeat.

invite him to fish with you.

hope for the best.

if youre a good kid and they know it , you should be fine. unless the guy just has it out for teenage boys , then dont even bother lol.

good luck.

[fish-fighting-illini]

As a father of 5 daughters and the fact that the kids said " dad our ( male ) friends are afraid of you" I might be the resident expert!

You've got nothing to lose by talking to him. Not talking to them just makes you look like a slimy little weasel. Obviously make eye contact and be sincere or forget it.

I would leave out the gory details simply say " I acted inappropriately" etc

The odds are that you are not going to marry her so don't beat yourself up over it, speak your piece and move on.

   M. Star although a rookie ( lol ) if pretty good.

  As far as consequences lets face it you were a snake to their daughter. They will set limits on when and what times you can see her. Some sort of chaperon will possibly be in order or at least you will be limited to group settings only for a while.

   Let us know how the meeting turns out it will be an enlightening post for us parents.

[Lund Explorer]

This girl's Dad is half your worries.

What do your parents think of what happened?  If they don't know about it yet, you'd be better off to fess up to them first.  It might go better on you if this old guy knows you are catching you know what at home too.

[Alpster]

I have 3 daughters. One married, one going to college and one starting high school. I am a very protective dad.

Don't miss the fact that it's more than just a "mistake". If you don't eventually marry her, you have violated another man's wife. I don't know the details, but it sounds like you have taken from her what you cannot give back. It changes everything in her life. You shouldn't be surprised if her dad isn't happy about this. BTW, was getting your itch scratched worth all the trouble you now face? I will get flamed to death for this post, but this is how it is. If I understand your original post, she can never be pure again and you are responsible. I hope it all works out for you.

Ronnie

[Root beer]

Kid, take my advice, forget about high school relationships. Don't even bother. The best is yet to come... If you choose to go to college, those will be best years of your life. You'll meet the best girls and have best times with them and the best part is, you don't have to worry about parents, because those girls make their own decision.

If you choose not to go to college, just chill out until your 21 then go barhopping. It's same thing as college minus the academic part.

[SoFlaBassAddict]

Kid, take my advice, forget about high school relationships. Don't even bother. The best is yet to come... If you choose to go to college, those will be best years of your life. You'll meet the best girls and have best times with them and the best part is, you don't have to worry about parents, because those girls make their own decision.

If you choose not to go to college, just chill out until your 21 then go barhopping. It's same thing as college minus the academic part.

There was an academic part of college?   

[dave]

I have 3 daughters. One married, one going to college and one starting high school. I am a very protective dad.

Don't miss the fact that it's more than just a "mistake". If you don't eventually marry her, you have violated another man's wife. I don't know the details, but it sounds like you have taken from her what you cannot give back. It changes everything in her life. You shouldn't be surprised if her dad isn't happy about this. BTW, was getting your itch scratched worth all the trouble you now face? I will get flamed to death for this post, but this is how it is. If I understand your original post, she can never be pure again and you are responsible. I hope it all works out for you.

Ronnie

I'm with you on this one Ronnie.

[senile1]

It sounds like you have chosen a good path to begin to patch things up; however the following comment from your original post is telling:

I am looking for any kind of advice how you fathers that have a natural hatred for young boys after their daughters what you would like me to say, do, etc.

If this is what you think of Fathers who become angry when a young man screws over their daughters you have a lot to learn. This is the wrong attitude. Most Father's don't hate young boys who make youthful indiscretions. Remember we were boys once too, but we are very protective of our daughters. Follow the path you've chosen but see the man for what he really is: A loving Dad who feels his daughter has been wronged or misled by a young man who didn't care to think about the consequences.

Good luck!

[SPEEDBEAD.]

Ok, I know I am not the only one thinking this...I have a little less tact than some of the other fellas on here.

What the hell did you do? That would make it a little easier to help you.

Some things you can apologize and move forward from, other things you can only apologize for and hope to live through.

[Nice_Bass]

Ok, I know I am not the only one thinking this...I have a little less tact than some of the other fellas on here.

What the hell did you do? That would make it a little easier to help you.

Some things you can apologize and move forward from, other things you can only apologize for and hope to live through.

I got a daughter, and I am also a really young father when you look at the age of my daughter...so trust me, I think I have said and done most things out there...but really some things you can walk away from, and some things you can only crawl from.  Would have to hear what you did to find out which you will be able to do.

[Root beer]

There was an academic part of college?

Apparently.  ;D

[Lucky Craft Man]

With out going into to much detail I screwed up with my GF and lead her on to doing something we should not of done. 

As others have said, it is all dependent on what you did.  Here is a short list of examples of things that I would not be happy with if someone led my daughter into doing.

- Petty Theft (I would be mad, but it is a forgivable offence)

- Certain Acts done between a man and woman, but not going "All In" (I would be mad, but forgiveness over time could be had)

- Smoking Mild Illegal Substances (I would be mad, but forgiveness over time could be had)

- Going "All In" (I would be very mad and forgiveness would be hard to achieve, but over time may happen)

- Going "All In" resulted in some disease (Don't even bother coming around)

- Going "All In" resulted in pregnancy (Angry would not be the word for it.  You better be prepared to take care of this child the rest of your life and I would have a team of lawyers to make sure this is done)

- Introducing her to Heroin or some other highly addictive and life destroying substance (I would hunt you down and would probably end up serving life for what I would do to you if I found you)

I am not sure if what you did falls into any of these categories, but this could be a gauge as to what you might face.  Good luck and try not to screw up in the future.

[Captain Obvious]

Other.

Be glad it wasn't my sister because I'd kick your *** and make the rest of your life miserable.

Not saying that you can't be forgiven but If you did what it sounds like then you opened up a can of worms that could effect you for life.

Capt.O

[moby bass]

FWIW, and for good or bad, the age of consent in Maryland is 16 for both male and female. If you are both of at least that age and one of you is not 18 or over, and have consented, you are on LEGAL ground, but not necessarily moral ground.  Fathers protect their daughters, probably because we were young once and understand what young men are preoccupied with.  When something goes wrong, it is usually the girl who pays the heavier price.  We want to prevent that one moment of unbridled passion from becoming a life changing event.

Be honest, contrite and sincere.  If you and your GF want to continue seeing each other, hopefully the father will accept that.  If not, then, of course, Alpster's synopsis becomes truth.  If the father does permit you to continue seeing his daughter, I wouldn't take that as a license to continue your behavior.  Was this consensual between the two of you?  If it wasn't, I certainly wouldn't try to present it as if it were.  Man up and take full responsibility for your actions.