Chuck Norris Sayings..

[tbird]

Chuck Norris once killed two stones with one bird

Chuck Norris can build a house from the roof down

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[brushhoggin]

yeah...

[tbird]

For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken

The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off

In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket

[bassman31783]

My personal favorite

"Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong to a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5."

Honorable mentions.

"On his birthday Chuck Norris randomly selects one kid to throw into the sun."

"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it!"

"Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building."

"Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac a Burger King & got one."

[tbird]

Here are a couple of pretty good ones

Chuck Norris once got into a fight with a one-armed Ninja. Seeing that he had an unfair advantage, Chuck Norris ripped both of his arms off and one of his legs. He then roundhouse-kicked the ninja in the head, killing him instantly, and proceeded to sew his limbs back on using only a rusty tent spike and bailing wire.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever

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[Mike 12345]

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

[Hornytoad 10]

chuck Norris doesn't have a tattoo that says MOM, his mom has a tattoo that says SON.

[Ky_Lake_Dude]

chuck Norris doesn't have a tattoo that says MOM, his mom has a tattoo that says SON.

Good job stealing that from the Dos Equis beer commercial.  :

[Ky_Lake_Dude]

Kenny G is allowed to live because Chuck Norris doesnt kill women

In the beginning, there was nothing, then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and said "get a job" that my friends is the story of the universe

Jesus could walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land

If you can spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever

Google wont search for Chuck Norris, It knows you dont find Chuck Norris, he only finds you

[tbird]

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

[Raul]

When Chuck Norries goes fishing Chuck Norris doesn 't cast the bait, the bait runs away from Chuck Norris.

[Hornytoad 10]

chuck Norris doesn't have a tattoo that says MOM, his mom has a tattoo that says SON.

Good job stealing that from the Dos Equis beer commercial. :

OK, OK, ya got me on that one. But chuck norris very well may be the "most interesting man in the world"

[HitmanFO]

Go to Google.com.  In the search bar, type "Where is Chuck Norris" and hit the I'm Feeling Lucky option.

"Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

Suggestions:

Run, before he finds you

Try a different person"

LOL Love it  ;D

[tbird]

Scientists found remnants of the "Most Interesting Man in the World" in a stool sample from Chuck Norris'