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Posted

This is from a joke i heard one time, but i actually got to use it yesterday in real life.

So i am at home, sitting on the couch watching TV. Wife walks in and says, " so whats on tv? " I replied "DUST". I was quickly met with a, " $%&@ you!" Mission accomplished.

Posted

I have said that one time to my wife, and ohh my god. I will not do that again ;D hahaha

Posted
The amazing thing to me is - you think I need instructions on how to start a fight with the wife :o

What else is amazing is that someone married you. Im sure you and your husband are happy with each other. Yes, im calling you Q U E E R!

Posted
The amazing thing to me is - you think I need instructions on how to start a fight with the wife :o

LOL...been married about 10 years, I can say from day 1, finding a way to have a fight with my wife, not a particularly difficult task. LOL.

Posted

Thanks, I had the opportunity last night to try this. My ears are still ringing this morning from having them boxed.

Posted

"Does this dress make me look fat?"

:o

No you are just fat!

Posted

Scenario 1:

Wife/GF : Where are you going?

Husband: Jim's house for a beer...

Wife: You have beer here.

Husband: *pretend, you didn't hear that and leave to go fishing*

Scenario 2:

Wife/GF: Where are you going?

Husband: Fishing....

Wife: WHAT AGAIN !@&*#!(*#!@&@(#%!@^(#%!@*%!#^%!^#%, *watch out for the flying book*

I've done both :), I'm not married, but with my GF

Posted
Scenario 1:

Wife/GF : Where are you going?

Husband: Jim's house for a beer...

Wife: You have beer here.

Husband: *pretend, you didn't hear that and leave to go fishing*

Scenario 2:

Wife/GF: Where are you going?

Husband: Fishing....

Wife: WHAT AGAIN !@&*#!(*#!@&@(#%!@^(#%!@*%!#^%!^#%, *watch out for the flying book*

I've done both :), I'm not married, but with my GF

Scenario 1 doesn't work unless you turn your cellphone off.

Scenario 2 well lets just say I can fill in all the keyboard symbols for you.  ;)

  • Super User
Posted

Being married is like living near busy train tracks; after a while you just don't hear it anymore.

Great line from the Three Stooges:

Poll taker to Moe - "Are you married ?"

Moe - "No, I'm happy....."

Posted
Scenario 1:

Wife/GF : Where are you going?

Husband: Jim's house for a beer...

Wife: You have beer here.

Husband: *pretend, you didn't hear that and leave to go fishing*

Scenario 2:

Wife/GF: Where are you going?

Husband: Fishing....

Wife: WHAT AGAIN !@&*#!(*#!@&@(#%!@^(#%!@*%!#^%!^#%, *watch out for the flying book*

I've done both :), I'm not married, but with my GF

Scenario 1 doesn't work unless you turn your cellphone off.

Scenario 2 well lets just say I can fill in all the keyboard symbols for you. ;)

Forgot to mention, cell phone is conveniently left at home on the kitchen table with the ringer on, so she knows I left it at home.

Talk about getting an ear full in either situation LOL

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