Dose this make me a bad friend?

[tipptruck1]

Ok my buddy is getting married in Mexico in a few months. Him and this wife don't want to get married here in the U.S. Me and my grandma were talking about if its even a legal marriage. So thanks to Google I found out they need ids, chest x rays, blood test and four people to witness that they know for it to be legal here. All that stuff has to be done in Mexico locally.There only going to be down there for like 8 days. I think him and his wife are to dumb to know this. Same with our friends that are going. I will not be there because I wont get on a plane. Plus whats going on down there right now. I also don't like his future wife. I think shes useing him among other things. I am not the only one that thinks that by the way. But should I tell him what he has to do in Mexico?  Or just sit back and keep my mouth shut. Then laugh my butt off when he finds out he was never married.

[Dan:]

I'm sure he's considered it, but you should probably ask him just in case. It sucks that you don't like his fiance, but it doesn't really matter. He's marrying her, not you. As a friend I think you should let him do what he wants to do and be there if the poop hits the fan later.

[SPEEDBEAD.]

Your post "dose" not make you a grammar all-star in my book.

It will likely be in your best interest to stay quiet.

[tipptruck1]

Yea grammer is not my strong point. I think I skiped that class in high school.

I just don't want him to end up like a few of my other friends that tried the marriage thing for a few years. Next thing you he's saying hes getting a divorce. I just don't want him to get hurt. I do plan on having a nice little talk in a week or so with him about her. If it cost me a friendship so be it. I will also bring up the stuff he has to do in Mexico. I know shes's driving a wedge between me and him. That's also a reason why I really don't care for her. I will call him up on a Friday night to hang out. I then hear her voice in the back ground your not going any were. If me and him have some thing planned for a night and one of her friends calls and wants to go out he has to drop what ever he is doing with me to go out with her.

All I know this will not be a equal marriage. I also don't think this will last more then 5 years. Even my grandma how knows him like a grandson thinks its dumb hes getting married and it wont last. I tend to listen to my grandma when it comes to stuff like this. She has been married for 50 plus years.

[Bassin_Fin@tic]

I am still trying to figure out this "dose" thing.Seems like it's getting ever popular. I am guessing its some new lingo for the kids these days or something. :-?

[BrianinMD]

Dose, its just "Does" misspelled.

[NewAngler]

Yea grammer is not my strong point. I think I skiped that class in high school.

I just don't want him to end up like a few of my other friends that tried the marriage thing for a few years. Next thing you he's saying hes getting a divorce. I just don't want him to get hurt. I do plan on having a nice little talk in a week or so with him about her. If it cost me a friendship so be it. I will also bring up the stuff he has to do in Mexico. I know shes's driving a wedge between me and him. That's also a reason why I really don't care for her. I will call him up on a Friday night to hang out. I then hear her voice in the back ground your not going any were. If me and him have some thing planned for a night and one of her friends calls and wants to go out he has to drop what ever he is doing with me to go out with her.

All I know this will not be a equal marriage. I also don't think this will last more then 5 years. Even my grandma how knows him like a grandson thinks its dumb hes getting married and it wont last. I tend to listen to my grandma when it comes to stuff like this. She has been married for 50 plus years.

Are you kidding, dude?! This makes you a bad friend right there. From the, "even my grandma thinks of him as a grandson," tells me that he is a good friend, a great friend, and more or less a part of your family. I don't know about you, but I've got a number of those friends, and if I lost any of them as a friend, I would be distraught. Especially if my ultimate decision came from people on a fishing forum. Wise up, bro. Show your concerns, but leave it at that. As Dan said, he's not marrying you, and you're not marrying her. As far as the wedge between your friendship, it happens when a couple gets married. I would be willing to bet you will stay close friends after the wedding, you may not talk or see each as often, but you're a grownass man. IMO, you (not YOU, just in general) don't need to hang out or do things with your best friends at an older age. It's times when you're in need, or at a low or high part of your life that your true friends will stand up and show face. Not by the amount of fishing, or tag, or x-box you guys do together.

Tell your friend of the required tests needed in Mexico. Show your concer about his wife-to-be only if you think its best for him. Keep your feelings for her out of it. Lastly, wish them well, afterall, he is one of your best friends.

[SPEEDBEAD.]

If I'm not mistaken, Mr. Tipp has posted questions like this before on here.

I know for sure in my mind, just can't go back far enough to find it. (Dang 50 post search limit  ;D)

Time to man up and make an intelligent decision.  Just be prepared to live with whatever that decision may be. 

Don't be a meddler, let your friend make his own mistakes and then be there to support him when he needs it. (I think this is the advice I gave you last time you posted this kind of question.)

Two ears, one mouth.

[Grey Wolf]

Tell him about what he should know about Mexico and keep the rest to yourself. His love life is not any of your business.

It is normal for a man to cater to the woman he loves over his buddies . Get yourself a woman and quit worrying about the relationships of your pals.

[FishingBuds]

Deja Vu

Tip, this is none of your business man, he can marry who and how he wants.

wait, Deja Vu again

[RobbyZ5001]

Has it occurred to you that possibly he doesn't want it to be official in the United States? Maybe he is just tricking his "fiance".  ;D

[whoopbazz]

If it were me, I'd let him know about the "laws" concerning the Mexico marriage thing. And let him know that you can't afford or will not fly to go to Mexico. But absolutely keep your feelings for his future wife to yourself. He is a grown man capable of making his own choices.

And, asking a bunch of YAYHOOS from  bass fishin board is not all that smart. LOL

[brushhoggin]

If it were me, I'd let him know about the "laws" concerning the Mexico marriage thing. And let him know that you can't afford or will not fly to go to Mexico. But absolutely keep your feelings for his future wife to yourself. He is a grown man capable of making his own choices.And, asking a bunch of YAYHOOS from bass fishin board is not all that smart. LOL

no one can make clear minded decisions when they're in a foggy predicament! you see the situation clearly from the outside and need to intervene! blindfold him and tell him you have a surprise, dump him in the woods with 3 years worth of survival supplies. tell him he'll thank you later and leave him there! thats what a real friend would do.

and about the does/dose thing, people are typing quickly and make this mistake. they dont necessarily think the word does is spelled d-o-s-e. give these folks a break, this isn't freakin english class.  :

[Dan:]

If it were me, I'd let him know about the "laws" concerning the Mexico marriage thing. And let him know that you can't afford or will not fly to go to Mexico. But absolutely keep your feelings for his future wife to yourself. He is a grown man capable of making his own choices.And, asking a bunch of YAYHOOS from bass fishin board is not all that smart. LOL

no one can make clear minded decisions when they're in a foggy predicament! you see the situation clearly from the outside and need to intervene! blindfold him and tell him you have a surprise, dump him in the woods with 3 years worth of survival supplies. tell him he'll thank you later and leave him there! thats what a real friend would do.

and about the does/dose thing, people are typing quickly and make this mistake. they dont necessarily think the word does is spelled d-o-s-e. give these folks a break, this isn't freakin english class. :

Terrible, terrible idea. Who is to say that your judgment of her is more accurate than his? He knows her better than you do. How can you know his feelings for her? There is nothing worse than people who assume they know what's best for other people, oh, except for people who act on those assumptions by interfering with one of the biggest days of their friends lives.

[bocabasser]

Yea grammer is not my strong point. I think I skiped that class in high school.

I just don't want him to end up like a few of my other friends that tried the marriage thing for a few years. Next thing you he's saying hes getting a divorce. I just don't want him to get hurt. I do plan on having a nice little talk in a week or so with him about her. If it cost me a friendship so be it. I will also bring up the stuff he has to do in Mexico. I know shes's driving a wedge between me and him. That's also a reason why I really don't care for her. I will call him up on a Friday night to hang out. I then hear her voice in the back ground your not going any were. If me and him have some thing planned for a night and one of her friends calls and wants to go out he has to drop what ever he is doing with me to go out with her.

All I know this will not be a equal marriage. I also don't think this will last more then 5 years. Even my grandma how knows him like a grandson thinks its dumb hes getting married and it wont last. I tend to listen to my grandma when it comes to stuff like this. She has been married for 50 plus years.

i am no dr. phil, but it sounds like you are a little scorned.

[BassFrenzy]

Nice Brushhoggin' LoL

[Root beer]

I would let him know about the legality of getting married in Mexico and stuff, but for the part about girl using him or whatever you think she is doing. It not what you think, it what you can prove. If you got no proof, then what are you say about his or her feelings toward one another?

[Stasher1]

I don't see what the big deal is? Let them have their little ceremony in Mexico, and they can just run to the local court house and have it re-done "legally" when they get back. In their eyes, they got married in Mexico, in the eyes of the Govt., they got married in WI.

Now the matter of being "snubbed" so he can hang out with his girl's friends is understandable at this stage in their relationship. She is the keeper of the "good stuff". He is going to do whatever he feels is necessary to obtain the "good stuff". If that means sitting through a few hours of girl-chatter, so be it. One of these days you'll meet a nice girl and do the exact same thing.

[preach4bass]

You hang out with more drama queens than Oprah. :-*

Just put a smile on your face, hop on a plane, and go to Mexico to support your buddy.  And, if two months down the road his new bride kicks him to the curve, take the poor guy fishing and talk junk about her.  That's what friends do.

[grimlin]

You hang out with more drama queens than Oprah. :-*

Just put a smile on your face, hop on a plane, and go to Mexico to support your buddy. And, if two months down the road his new bride kicks him to the curve, take the poor guy fishing and talk junk about her. That's what friends do.

;D AMEN!

[Bassn Blvd]

Let him know about the laws in Mexico but keep your pie hole shut about his fiance unless HE asks for your opinion.

You could also refer your question to Dear Abbey.

[mojoangler]

Just going by your posts you might not be as smart as you think you are.  I've known several people who have done destination weddings and the wedding there was just for show, so they don't have to jump through the hoops, and then they come back to the states and go to a JP for 30 bucks or so.  My advice is don't give maritial advice to anyone, especially a friend, until someone is willing to give you a second rate reality show on the subject.

[fishfordollars]

You need to grow a set. Get over it and let him lead his life as he wishes.

You may not be as close as you think ya'll are. A little relief from you might be his best medicine.

I guess you've never heard of a destination wedding. Of course they are legal. Done every day.

[done]

You hang out with more drama queens than Oprah. :-*

Just put a smile on your face, hop on a plane, and go to Mexico to support your buddy. And, if two months down the road his new bride kicks him to the curve, take the poor guy fishing and talk junk about her. That's what friends do.

x2, lol.

Really, being a friend is not about you. it's about him. Fill him in on the legality stuff, sure, but because it is in HIS best interest to have a legal wedding to the woman he loves.

Like his bride or not, it is his bride. I can tell you this, even the best friend I have had in my life, if it comes to a choice between him and my wife, there ain't no choice, my wife will always win hands down. If you are going to set the stage for that eventual showdown, you will lose. If you truly value his friendship, support him. A true friend can put his buds needs/wants/etc ahead of his own. You don't have to like the girl, but you had best pay her some respect for your buds sake. Don't force him to make a decision you will regret.

[Captain Obvious]

And, asking a bunch of YAYHOOS from  bass fishin board is not all that smart. LOL

Kinda what I was thinking, not that anyone on here is a Yayhoo but I wouldn't asked life questions here. That being said this Yahoo is going to give his opinion ;D

Listen your buddy is suffering from a disease called LOVE.

Common sight effects are,

Can't stand to be away from his Girlfriend

When away from his gf he must call every five minutes to check on her

When she calls he must talk in private

Always cancels time with his buddies because she needs him for something

Seems to forget that there is more to life then her.

The good thing about this disease is that it cures itself, the antidote is called Marriage.

If he is your buddy I might just mention the laws down in Mexico and see what he is like after marriage.

There you have the opinion of a 19 yr old who is years away from even considering marriage

Capt.O