Super User Redlinerobert Posted March 19, 2010 Super User Posted March 19, 2010 At last....someone in this world has done some very valid and very valuable research on the human condition! DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS 40-ISH - 49 Adventurous - Slept with everyone Athletic - Flat chest Average looking - Ugly Beautiful - Pathological liar Contagious smile - Does a lot of pills Emotionally secure - On medication Feminist - Fat Free spirit - Junkie Friendship first - Former very friendly person Fun - Annoying New age - Body hair in the wrong places Open minded - Desperate Outgoing - Loud and embarrassing Passionate - Sloppy drunk Professional - pregnant dog Voluptuous - Very fat Large frame - Hugely fat Wants soul mate - Stalker WOMEN'S ENGLISH Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No We need = I want I am sorry = You'll be sorry We need to talk = You're in trouble Sure go head = You better not Do what you want = You will pay for this later I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron! You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about? MEN'S ENGLISH I am hungry = I am hungry I am sleepy = I am sleepy I am tired = I am tired Nice dress = Nice cleavage I love you = let's have sex now I am bored = Do you want to have sex? May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you Can I take you to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay And finally A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. However when she is menstruating she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside. __________________ Quote
Super User Fishing Rhino Posted March 19, 2010 Super User Posted March 19, 2010 Those would be hilarious............if they weren't the truth. Quote
Sfritr Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 I am printing this and posting it on my wifes dresser..... Quote
Super User Fishing Rhino Posted March 19, 2010 Super User Posted March 19, 2010 I am printing this and posting it on my wifes dresser..... You must like a cold shoulder. Quote
Siebert Outdoors Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 I am printing this and posting it on my wifes dresser..... LOL, I emailed it to the girlfriend for conformation. After this afternoon if I never make another post, its not that I dont like the board it probably because of the last paragraph. LOL Quote
Super User A-Jay Posted March 19, 2010 Super User Posted March 19, 2010 ;D ;D Good Stuff. But ~ Professional = pregnant dog ? I don't get it ? A-Jay Quote
Super User roadwarrior Posted March 19, 2010 Super User Posted March 19, 2010 BR automatic screening...Rhymes with "witch". : Quote
Hooked_On_Bass Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 BR automatic screening...Rhymes with "witch". : ;D Quote
JigMe Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 I am printing this and posting it on my wifes dresser..... LOL, I emailed it to the girlfriend for conformation. After this afternoon if I never make another post, its not that I dont like the board it probably because of the last paragraph. LOL LMAO!!! Quote
brushhoggin Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 yeah i'm with rhino. if it werent true, it'd be funny. but still funny, good one ;D Quote
Skunked in DR Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 yeah i'm with rhino. if it werent true, it'd be funny. but still funny, good one ;D It's funny because its true. Quote
Super User Raul Posted March 19, 2010 Super User Posted March 19, 2010 I am printing this and posting it on my wifes dresser..... Now that 's what I call a man with big balls and/or low self esteem for his hide. Quote
Super User bilgerat Posted March 19, 2010 Super User Posted March 19, 2010 Add this to the woman's dictionary for personal ads: "Looking for soulmate" = Looking for cellmate Quote
Super User A-Jay Posted March 19, 2010 Super User Posted March 19, 2010 BR automatic screening...Rhymes with "witch". : Thank you A-Jay Quote
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