Help me understand A.D.D

[grimlin]

For those of you who have it....how badly does it affect your life? My kid is being labeled as having a bad case of A.D.D and i really can't get him to listen or pay much attention when I'm talking to him.It's really starting to bother me as i want to start taking him with me a little more in the outdoors.

He's an extremely smart kid...but sometimes too smart for his own good.He doesn't follow advice too well...

Any Advice?  I don't want to be punishing for something he can't control....but yet I still want control over things i can control.If that makes any sense?

[firefightn15]

Advice?  If your not a patient man, learn.  Not trying to be a sour apple but sometimes it can be a real trial.  My nephew has it bad and all bets are off with him.  He's also very smart as far as being manipulative but problem solving that involves something that doesn't immediately interest him or if it doesn't benefit him is out of the equation.  Fishing when he was very young held water long enough to get a couple of hours in, but as he got older taking him in the boat could last as little as 10 minutes before he had enough.  Until he was diagnosed and understood by us what was happening, everyone was always at wits end.  As he grew older (18 and up)things got a little better, but even living on his own is a crap shoot.  No money management skills what so ever.  Insurance due tomorrow?.....Wait, that widget looks cool; I want it now.  Then, with the widget never to be used and probably traded for a thingydo, he needs to find insurance money.  At 21(?) he is able to hold a job but loses focus easily.  Not to worry you, but we worried for Michael for several years wondering how he would be able to make it in the world.  As a child they pumped him full of Ritalin and we always kinda thought this made him worse, IDK :-/  One time after my dad died he wanted something to remember grandpa by so mom gave him one of dad's favorite Suicks.  We found out he traded it for candy of all things. ;D

Maybe not much help grimlin but that's my story.

[grimlin]

Yikes,this is making me think of the worst now.  :'(

One thing i told my wife though...I will not allow them to pump any drugs in him.I don't believe in it.Period...it just won't happen.

I treat my kid as if nothing is wrong,But I'm aware of certain things and try to work with him on it(patience like you said).I don't know if I'm on the right path doing it this way...but in my heart and mind I'm doing the right thing.

I'm more worried now that he's heading into kindergarten next year.The head start school he was going to has been working with him to see how severe 

it really is....I've been told it's not as bad as it could be.However he does have it.....Sometimes i think it's just his personality of him just being a kid. 

A.D.D. runs in my wife's side of the family pretty hardcore....and knowing some of them scares me a bit.

But I really don't know if i fully understand what A.D.D is.I know a few other people who say they have it,and they go on with life as if everything is normal.

[SirSnookalot]

Similir to what firefightn15 said my 15 yo grand son has ADD, tourrets syndrome and is bi polar of which it took me many years to buy into.  He can no longer go to school and is now being home schooled via the internet, glad to say his mom is a teacher so that is a help.

My only advice is professional help and yes the medications are very important, it may take time to hit on the right one.

[Tin]

Has more than one doctor diagnosed him with it? It seems like doctors love to through things out there and there are these sorts of "trends". After the whole ADD, Bipolar/Manic Depressive, and Autism thing went on they are beginning to find most have been misdiagnosed. And I hate to say it but studies have shown that as soon as a child is aware they have this sort of disorder they can get away with more. I did a whole term paper on it last year. Like how they are finding some cases of bipolar disorder are season depression or Autism is Aspergers and so on. Granted there are kids who truly have these cases.

[Catt]

Read the instruction Manuel that come with the kid 

[CanalStalkin]

when I was in Elementary school I wasn't doing well in school. Wasn't interested in the work at all and was struggling in my classes. They automatically "diagnosed" me with ADD and threw me on Ritalin. Turned me into a Zombie and just totally changed me as a person, made it worse if you ask me. My mom still regrets doing it.

[done]

I have a bud who has it BAD and has 2 kids who do. Meds worked with him and his boys. They do not always and sometimes are given lightly.

Couple things I would do, first before commiting the kids to a lifetime of meds, make sure (if you have not already) to get a second opinion. Once you commit to it, stick to it period. Do not take him on and off his meds like a medical experiment. As a teacher my wife has encountered parents doing this all the time and the kids grades suffer extremely. Cannot be good for the brain to turn it off and on like that either.

Back to my bud, when he misses his meds, it is night and day. He cannot get any work done, his mind jumps from one thing to another, he says everything on his mind without going through the "mental filter". He has an EXTREMELY sarcastic sense of humor so when this happens, it is funny but it will certainly get someone fired/sued.

That being said my bud works in IT consulting, he makes 6 figures, is EXTREMELY good at what he does. He has a loving wife and 2 great kids. So this is not a death sentence for the kid. Just one of those things he will deal with in his life.

[Hook Set]

I'm 38 now, and as a kid I constantly got in trouble for talking in class and day dreaming. I still have problems focusing now, my Dr. says that if I was a kid in school now they would probably  drug me! I probably have adult ADD!

I truly believe this said "bait monkey" problem is some form of it. The up side is that most kids with ADD are also very intelligent.

It would be nice if there were some sort of group with other parents of ADD kids you could talk with and get suggestions other than meds.

This certainly seems to be a popular label given to kids these days. When I was a kid we got off the bus, rode our bikes and played in the woods until dark. I think this was a big help in "unwinding" my mind when I was young. Kids are  not able to roam around like this anymore with all the dirt bags out there. Good luck, you sound like a good parent and I'm sure you will find the right thing to do.

[RobbyZ5001]

Just a suggestion, but did you google A.D.D. yet? I am sure there are thousands of life stories and information on the disorder. I know that is not the answer your looking for in  your post, but it is something to look into as well.

[dave]

I have four kids, two boys, two girls. The boys both have it. It's been described in simple terms is some cases as all of the thoughts or tasks or whatever in your brain, are all floating around like ping pong balls in a bingo hopper. What the medicine does is stop the balls from flying around and lines them up so the child can understand and deal with them. One of my men at work was coming in the office and complaining that he was going to come home and kill his son. He was 13 and the parents received a call EVERYDAY from his teacher. I asked him what the teacher said the boy was doing. Nothing bad or mean or any other disrespectful behavior, he just wouldn't stay in his seat and couldn't for the life of him, complete his work. (dead on behavior of my two sons) I told him about ADD and the medications to treat it. He made an appointment with the doctor. After the first day on medication, NO phone call from the teacher. When he got home from school, he said it was the best day at school he had ever had. You are correct about punishment. It ends up being cruel because the kids just can't help it. I feel bad for the kids of the past and the present and future that go undiagnosed. They suffer physically and mentally for something that they can't help.

[Grey Wolf]

Yikes,this is making me think of the worst now. :'(

One thing i told my wife though...I will not allow them to pump any drugs in him.I don't believe in it.Period...it just won't happen.

I treat my kid as if nothing is wrong,But I'm aware of certain things and try to work with him on it(patience like you said).I don't know if I'm on the right path doing it this way...but in my heart and mind I'm doing the right thing.

I'm more worried now that he's heading into kindergarten next year.The head start school he was going to has been working with him to see how severe

it really is....I've been told it's not as bad as it could be.However he does have it.....Sometimes i think it's just his personality of him just being a kid.

A.D.D. runs in my wife's side of the family pretty hardcore....and knowing some of them scares me a bit.

But I really don't know if i fully understand what A.D.D is.I know a few other people who say they have it,and they go on with life as if everything is normal.

You maybe  should have a more open mind about your drug stance , you want what's best for your child and that may be what's best for him. Get more opinions from differant Dr.'s then make your decision.

[dave]

If he had another condition or illness, would you withhold the medication that would help? I used to think the same about the medication. We even tried a diet that was as free as it could be of preservatives. It is not fair to him not to give him every tool to succeed. We used to not give our boys the medication over the weekend and the entire summer. By Sunday, my wife and I were ready to lose our minds. It will be like having a different child. You can experiment with medications. One made my son very lethargic. Another was perfect.

[grimlin]

Thanks guys,I'm taking this all in....From the sound of it,I'm doing the right thing so far.

If I need to get him on medication i will do so....but right now,I just don't see it.He's doing great school and stuff.Once in awhile he'll have a bad day.

[Red]

My two nephews have it.  The medication works very well.  But like someone mentioned, it may take a few tries to get the right one.  Ritalin did nothing but turn him into a zombie, he didn't want to talk, play, be talked to or be touched, he just zoned out in to space.  Now he is on Aderol, and the very lowest dosage possible.  He has all high A's in school and was recently accepted into the gifted and talented program in school.  Plus his behavior mark is good everyday as compared to last year where it was almost always a bad behavior mark.  Now his brother is in that boat, grades suffering, behavior is awful, can't complete work.  Last week he was diagnosed with it too, he will be starting his medication this week.

[FordNFishinLover]

Grim, you mentioned you wonder if its not just the young age in him? I tend to wonder if its not just that also. Personally if hes not in kindergarden its hard to say that he has a.d.d yet.

At my high school we have a daycare class where about 20 kindengarden kids come in and we take care of them for part of the day. During those moments you realize that almost every kid you will have to repeat and repeat a command or order for them to do it. So if it was i, id say just stay very patient and wait too see how he does in a few years.

Also, i remember a friend of mine. Always alittle hyper and what not. But one day his mother made him take ridalin. Completely turned him into a zombie. He didn't talk, eat, or anything. He just stared straight ahead.

[Hook Set]

I spoke to some friends who have thier kids on meds for ADD. Ritalin is the one you always hear about having "zombie" like " effects. However of the 3 people I spoke with they are all on different kinds of meds. If you go the medicine route, only you and your family have that answer, just know that there are alternative to Ritalin.

Good luck.

[slonezp]

My nephew is on meds for ADD only during school hours. He started the med treatment about 8 months ago and it's done wonders. At 7 years old he's been held back twice due to "maturity" issues and is in the first grade. Since hes been on meds he now completes his work and is passing his classes. My sister had him evaluated multiple times by the school and private shrinks. They all said he is an intelligent kid. What amazes me is how much he focuses on things he is interested in. If he's not interested, forget it. I too did not agree with the med treatment, but it seems to be working.

[stratos 375]

When I was growing up, there weren't any medical catch phrases for such ailments. I displayed all the behavior mentioned thus far, and then some. It took a few years, but my old man slapped it right out of me. Cured.

[done]

When I was growing up, there weren't any medical catch phrases for such ailments. I displayed all the behavior mentioned thus far, and then some. It took a few years, but my old man slapped it right out of me. Cured.

Stratos...while the ADD diagnosis is, IMO, overdone today, there are individuals who absolutely need these meds.

I will tell ya, by todays diagnosis guidelines, I would be ADD and put on meds. When I was a kid concentrating was VERY tough. My issue though was not severe enough that I was able to overcome it and actually use it to my advantage.

Now my bud, I mentioned on my last post, he absolutely needs meds. Without them he completely lacks the ability of focus. He and his boys are VERY severe cases. True ADD, when it is severe enough, is not something cured by putting the kid over your knee, in a corner, etc. it is way more than normal kid acting out things.

[grimlin]

That's what I'm watching closely....I don't think too much action will be taken just yet.They did want to hold him back from going into elementary school this year.But from what they are seeing,it's sort of a gamble. I don't see no reason to hold him back.

Honestly I think he'll be OK.....It's sort of a watch and see how he progressive for the new school year after summer.

This whole thread is giving me a chance to weight our options and kinda taking in advice from others and see what they are doing.

I really appreciate all the responses.   

[stratos 375]

Half the parents I know tell me that their kid's got ADD, the other half tell me their kid's in the "gifted" program. ADD was invented by doctors, and perpetuated by pharmaceutical companies. Kids naturally get squirmy, don't pay attention, scream, fight, fidget, lose focus and become distracted. 95% chance your kid will grow out of it.... eventually. It's amazing how this so called disorder did not even exist 20 years ago, but now has become a national calamity that has to be dealt with by the use of prescription drugs.  I wish you the best with your child.

[Tin]

Wow, that could be the most ignorant statement I have ever read on this site. I would love to know your certifications to say this. And fyi, a lot of mental disorders and psychiatric issues did not exist 20 years ago, were grouped together, or improperly classified. It is called advances in medicine and technology. It is also why things like the DMS's are updated every ten years or so.

[dave]

Wow, that could be the most ignorant statement I have ever read on this site. I would love to know your certifications to say this. And fyi, a lot of mental disorders and psychiatric issues did not exist 20 years ago, were grouped together, or improperly classified. It is called advances in medicine and technology. It is also why things like the DSM's are updated every ten years or so.

You beat me to that one Tin.

[Tin]

Yea Dave, I guess since AIDS did not exist 30 years ago it was invented by the doctors as well.