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Posted

Some of these are way too funny! ;D

"Today, I realized my girlfriend has more hair on her abdomen than I have on mine. "

Posted

Way better than these, is a website called:

textsfromlastnight. You just can't stop reading them.

Posted
Way better than these,  is a website called:

textsfromlastnight.  You just can't stop reading them.

checked out the site, eh didn't think they were that funny. I like fmylife a lot better.

Posted

Today, I entered the crowded bus and one man sitting in the priority seat glanced at me. Upon seeing my protruding tummy, he quickly offered me his seat. I took the seat. I am not pregnant

Today, I was taking a shower and the glass sliding door was jammed. I tugged it, and it shattered all over me. I was naked

Today, I was in the check-out line when I noticed the guy behind me kept impatiently sighing. Thinking he was a jerk, I took as long as I could packaging my items. Turns out he left his oxygen tank in the car

Today, my dog accidentally crapped on her leash. When I flicked the leash to get the poo off, it went flying. Have you ever had warm poo hit you in the face on a cold day when there's 6 inches of snow on the ground? I have

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad

Today, I laughed so hard my milk went out my nose in front of the boy I liked. Then, since I was laughing so hard about that, I accidently farted

haha I thought these were pretty funny

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