Super User Root beer Posted November 18, 2009 Super User Posted November 18, 2009 This is an actual > letter sent > to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding a pond on his > property. It was > sent by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental > Quality, State of > Pennsylvania . This guy's response is hilarious, but > read State's > letter before you get to the response > letter. > > > > > > > SUBJECT: DEQ File > No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County > > > > Dear Mr. > DeVries: > > > It has come to the > attention of > the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been > recent > unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of > property.. You > have been certified as the legal landowner and/or > contractor who did > the following unauthorized activity: > > > > Construction and > maintenance of > two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring > Pond. > > > A permit must be > issued prior > to the start of this type of activity. A review of the > Department's > files shows that no permits have been issued. > Therefore, the > Department has determined that this activity is in > violation of Part > 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource > and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the > Public Acts of 1994, > being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of > the Pennsylvania Compiled > Laws, annotated. > > > The > Department has been > informed that one or both of the dams partially failed > during a recent > rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream > locations. We > find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and > cannot be > permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and > desist all > activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a > free-flow > condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams > from the > stream channel. All restoration work shall be > completed no later than > January 31, 2010. > > > Please notify this > office when > the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site > inspection > may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with > this request or > any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in > this case > being referred for elevated enforcement action. We > anticipate and > would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. > Please feel > free to contact me at this office if you have any > questions. > > > Sincerely, > David L. > Price > District > Representative > and Water Management Division. > > > > > Here is the > actual > response sent back by Mr. > DeVries: > > > > > Re: DEQ File No. > 97-59-0023; > T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming > County > > > Dear Mr. > Price, > > > Your certified > letter dated > 08/17/09 has been handed to me to respond to. I am > the legal landowner > but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane , Trout > Run, Pennsylvania . > > > A couple of > beavers are in > the (State unauthorized) process of > constructing and maintaining > two wood > "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my > Spring Pond. While I did > not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I > think they > would be highly offended that you call their skillful use > of natures > building materials "debris." > > > > I would like to > challenge > your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any > time and/or > any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is > no way you > could ever match their dam skills, their dam > resourcefulness, their dam > ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination > and/or their > dam work ethic.. > > > > > > > These are the > beavers/contractors you are seeking. As to your > request, I do > not think the beavers are aware that they > must first > fill out a dam permit prior to the start of > this type of > dam activity. > > > My first dam > question to you > is: > > > (1) Are you > trying to > discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, > or > > > (2) do you > require all > beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam > request? > > > If you are not > discriminating against these particular beavers, through > the Freedom of > Information Act, I request completed copies of all those > other > applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. > > > > (Perhaps we will > see if > there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes > and Streams, > of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, > Act 451 of > the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to > 324.30113 of the > Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, > annotated.) > > > I have several > concerns. My > first concern is, aren't the beavers entitled to legal > representation? > The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and > are unable to > pay for said representation -- so the State will have to > provide them > with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern > that either one or > both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing > flooding, > is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the > Department is > required to protect. In other words, we should leave > the Spring Pond > Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling them > dam names. > > > If you want the > stream > "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please > contact the beavers -- > but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not > pay any > attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read > English. > > > In my humble > opinion, the > Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their > unauthorized dams as > long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows > downstream. > They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy > Spring Pond. If > the Department of Natural Resources and > Environmental Protection lives > up to its name, it should protect the natural resources > (Beavers) and > the environment (Beavers' Dams). > > > > So, as far as > the beavers > and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more > elevated > enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2010? The > Spring Pond > Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no > way for you > or your dam staff to contact/harass > them. > > > In conclusion, I > would like > to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality, > health, > problem in the area.. It is the bears! Bears are > actually defecating > in our woods. I definitely believe you should be > persecuting the > defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are > going to > investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! The bears are > not careful > where they dump! > > > Being unable to > comply with > your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your > dam answering > machine, I am sending this response to your dam > office. > > > THANK YOU, > > > RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS Quote
Super User firefightn15 Posted November 18, 2009 Super User Posted November 18, 2009 Someone sent me that a couple of years ago and I keep it just to read once and awhile. I love the response. Quote
done Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 I have seen it before, Always gets me laughing. The BEST part, is it actually happened, http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/dammed.asp Quote
Big Mike in Fl Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 apparently its not "only in pennsylvania" instead its only in michigan! funny story Quote
Uncle Leo Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 I really like beavers, they know how to have fun. : Quote
b.Lee Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 How funny is that! I would do the exact same thing. I kind of figured it was beavers from the first letter. Quote
b.Lee Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/dammed.asp This matter was true, please click the link to see what they did in Michigan Quote
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