Messin' with the newbie

[done]

I was chatting with someone the other day on some of the jobs I had. One of the best was at a hole in the ground restaurant on the Niagara River. We LOVED pulling stuff on the newbies.

One dude, was the absolute best. We had a main building and an old house out back (about 100+ yrs old). We were messing with him and sent him to the building for left handed spoons. He was gone for about an hour. Come back, covered, I mean covered head to toe in dirt, spider webs, and all manners of filth. Tells us, he went in the basement and could not find the spoons down there just normal ones. Problem is, the building did not have a basement. He had found an old, nailed down trap door that went to an area that 100 yrs ago they used for coal to heat the old house. We did not even know it was there. Laughed to death.

He lasted 4 wonderful months and bugged him everyday. His other highlights, he somehow (would LOVE to know how) managed to open a pressurized cylinder with loganberry syrup for the drinks. Took him 4 hours to clean up that mess. We had a lighthouse on top of the building. It was for show, there was no way up there. We told him we needed it cleaned, he managed to get up there somehow, found the bees nest up there. And he set his hat on fire, crawling under the charcoal grill looking for a way to unplug it at the end of the day. He was a fun dude, just gullible.

Anyone else have fun time with the newbie at work?

[The Unabasser]

back in my saanother sitell days...we would send the newbie board pullers to the shop to get a board stretcher

[cart7t]

Minor stuff.

I don't know about your job but I can't be sending new workers, regardless of how gullible they are, on a made up mission that takes an hour of their day up just for my amusement.

I think I'd have some answering to do with the boss if I was wasting the newbies time doing that instead of training him to do more productive things.

[Bassn Blvd]

We use to keep extra headlights in the office for the afternoon and midnight shift in case their headlights went out after hours.  We told the new secretary to call motor pool and order 12 left headlights and 10 right headlights because we were running low.  She finally realized we were joking after SEVERAL phone calls back and forth to the motor pool arguing they were wrong and that they DO make right and left headlights.

[Grey Wolf]

I was chatting with someone the other day on some of the jobs I had. One of the best was at a hole in the ground restaurant on the Niagara River. We LOVED pulling stuff on the newbies.

One dude, was the absolute best. We had a main building and an old house out back (about 100+ yrs old). We were messing with him and sent him to the building for left handed spoons. He was gone for about an hour. Come back, covered, I mean covered head to toe in dirt, spider webs, and all manners of filth. Tells us, he went in the basement and could not find the spoons down there just normal ones. Problem is, the building did not have a basement. He had found an old, nailed down trap door that went to an area that 100 yrs ago they used for coal to heat the old house. We did not even know it was there. Laughed to death.

He lasted 4 wonderful months and bugged him everyday. His other highlights, he somehow (would LOVE to know how) managed to open a pressurized cylinder with loganberry syrup for the drinks. Took him 4 hours to clean up that mess. We had a lighthouse on top of the building. It was for show, there was no way up there. We told him we needed it cleaned, he managed to get up there somehow, found the bees nest up there. And he set his hat on fire, crawling under the charcoal grill looking for a way to unplug it at the end of the day. He was a fun dude, just gullible.

Anyone else have fun time with the newbie at work?

He's more than gullable , stupid would fit better.

[K_Mac]

My first job after high school. I was sent to the tool room for a sky hook. I will never forget the look I got from the attendant. : Everybody had a good chuckle at my expense.  :

[firefightn15]

Knot holes, we got to have that bucket of knot holes.  And when your done, go to the cabinet shop and grab a arm full of sink holes.

[guitarkid]

prussian blue on the safety glasses , left handed wrench, just basics like that.

                -gk

             

[Matt Fly]

Old Navy traditions we used on our new "Rickey Recruits" or "booters" for short instead of bootcampers.

    Not too mention, the mid-shipmen, our future officers fell for them to.

Send them down to the engine rooms for a bucket of steam.

To the mess decks to fetch 20 ft of chowline.

Down to the HT (hull technician) shop for an HT punch.  ouch

Send them to the OOD, Officer of the Deck, to ask where he would like them stationed for Mail bouy watch.   Like we get mail at sea from a bouy.

I know we have some other Naval veterans onboard, I'll leave a few for boats, or retiredbosin.

[BassDeaton01]

When I got my first job at a local seafood restaurant I was told to go find a rack stretcher so they could finish mopping. I went all over the place looking for this thing and finally made it to the boss. When I asked him he told me to go back there and tell those guys some choice words and started laughing! Also in the Marine Corps we do this thing where we send our newbies, or boots as we call them, to go up to a Staff Sergeant (E6) and ask them if they know where a PRC-E6 is. That translates to Do you know where a ***** E6 is? Basically calling the SSgt a *****. It always gets a good laugh.

[Sfritr]

This is a good Post: 

I too, am in the restaraunt business

1.  sending a newbie for the squegee sharpener

2.  Telling a newbie to empty the hot water out of the coffee machine

3.  Sending them to another store for a pasta spreader

4.  Telling them that when cutting onions in order not to tear up to roll up a tortilla and breath through it like a snorkel  (that one is always funny)

Good times

[Infidel.]

Those are all good.  I don't have anything from work but we were working on my buddies Mustang one night and we sent a couple of the girls to Auto Zone to pick up some Blinker Fluid.  Needless to say they weren't very happy when they got back.

[done]

Those are all good. I don't have anything from work but we were working on my buddies Mustang one night and we sent a couple of the girls to Auto Zone to pick up some Blinker Fluid. Needless to say they weren't very happy when they got back.

LOL. That there is awesome!!

One other newbie thing we did when I made the jump to IT. We installed a program on some machines in the office. One dude in particular who LOVED to come into the IT room and bug us to no end. We would send random popups that looked like windows messages like "Windows has detected excessive dust in printer cartridge, please clean." and "Foreign Object detected in CD drive. This error is frequently caused by dust or insects." We had him cleaning all our printers, screaming about cockroaches in his desktop... The best was the time we sent him a message.."Windows and Microsoft office have analyzed outlook usage patterns and detected you are a pr***. Please go <expletive>".  He called our netadmin to his office and showed him, the admin just looked at his screen, straight faced goes "yeah, mine tells me that all the time." and walked out back into our room and fell on the floor laughing. The guy spent days trying to find out how to reset that setting in outlook so it would not think he was a pr****.

Can't do it anymore but I did enjoy those days. Some of these are awesome guys.

[Red]

When I was in the Army in Korea, one of the platoon sergents sent a new private to the motor pool with a piece of white chalk and a hammer.  He told him to test all the tanks for soft spots in the armor.  He was to tap all over the tank with the hammer and then circle the "soft spots" with the chalk.  By the end of the day there were 12 tanks with little white circles all over them!!  Other fun ones included a "box of grid squares" or a "spare box of reticules", thats the DIGITAL crosshair you see when you look throught the sights.  I heard that one time a guy actually cut up an entire map and brought the sergent a box of grid squares.

[pa mountain man]

When I was working the gas field, we were always cutting pipe for one reason or another, and we used a piece of felt paper(wrap around) to make straight lines. One day a worm(newbie) was asking questions, and asked about the felt paper, I told him it was for making straight lines around pipes, and it was called a reach around. For a month, when someone was dragging the torches around, you would hear him yell across location "Hey_____,do you need a reach around?". ;D

[Pond Hopper]

We have an air compressor on our lot truck at work that does not like to start when it is cool.  So we always take the new guy out, compressor will not start, and have him go inside to the parts desk for a can of compression.  Hilarious. 

[llPa1nll]

Great thread! Very very funny stories, thanks for sharing. Well my stories center around my time when I was in HS and college and I worked at a restaurant.

The new girl who happened to be the a smoker I would dip 2 or 3 of her cigarette filters in cayenne pepper powder. She would come back from her cig break and she'd say I think those cigarettes were bad they made my lips all tingly and hot. We died laughing.

Another newbie dishwasher came to me in the middle of Friday night rush asking for something to eat. He wanted a kid's pizza, which normally would be a 6" wide crust. Well what I ended up doing was getting an old pot holder/oven mit put spaghetti sauce and cheese on it threw it in the oven to melt the cheese, and gave it too him. We had a great laugh watching him try and take a bite out of it then get a knife and fork and try cutting it.

Finaly the last dishwasher we had we bet him he could not ingest a spoonful of cinnamon and count to 3. Sure enough oh sure I can, he says. He downs the cinnamon and immediately starts coughing and running to the sink to start washing his mouth out. Oh the fun we used to have....

[BassDeaton01]

Holy crap! I've actually watched videos of people trying to eat a spoonful of cinammon on the internet. I suggest that if you have never seen this in action to get on youtube and watch them. It is hilarious and also impossible to do!!! Holy crap that is funny!!!

[swilly78]

Old Navy traditions we used on our new "Rickey Recruits" or "booters" for short instead of bootcampers.

    Not too mention, the mid-shipmen, our future officers fell for them to.

Send them down to the engine rooms for a bucket of steam.

To the mess decks to fetch 20 ft of chowline.

Down to the HT (hull technician) shop for an HT punch.  ouch

Send them to the OOD, Officer of the Deck, to ask where he would like them stationed for Mail bouy watch.   Like we get mail at sea from a bouy.

I know we have some other Naval veterans onboard, I'll leave a few for boats, or retiredbosin.

Oh the good ol' Navy days... We used to send nubs(not-useful bodys, our name for guys who wernt submarine qualified yet) for cans of bulkhead remover, and tell them to wash the subs windows...lol.  Also, guys might have been locked in torpedo tubes after being instructed to clean them, but I wouldnt know anything about that.....