How long have you existed?

[Bassn Blvd]

I have been here for 1,329,436,800 seconds or 22,157,280 minutes or 369,288 hours or 15,387 days or 2,198 weeks or 505 months or 42 years 1month and 15 days and seen 10 leap years.

If I went to the bathroom on average 5 times a day that would be 76,935 flushes.

I have farted over 107,709 times. The average person passes gas 7x a day.

[pa mountain man]

I have been here for 1,329,436,800 seconds or 22,157,280 minutes or 369,288 hours or 15,387 days or 2,198 weeks or 505 months or 42 years 1month and 15 days and seen 10 leap years.

If I went to the bathroom on average 5 times a day that would be 76,935 flushes.

I have farted over 107,709 times. The average person passes gas 7x a day.

I'm only 28, but I've farted more than you. ;D

[Bassn Blvd]

I was being VERY conservative.  ;D ;D

[aceman387]

oh man this made my morning,my wife heard me laughing, came over and looked at the screen and swears those farting numbers are a little inaccurate  and believes those numbers are reached monthly by men.

[Uncle Leo]

I like pulling the sheets over our heads.

[.ghoti.]

gotcha beat, on all counts.

[K_Mac]

BB

What is the average volume of gas released per...incident? What is the total volume (in cu.ft.)? Has this had an adverse effect on local/global temperature? Inquiring mines minds want to know.

[slider head]

BB

What is the average volume of gas released per...incident? What is the total volume (in cu.ft.)? Has this had an adverse effect on local/global temperature? Inquiring mines minds want to know.

For accuracy in this you are going to need to take in to account certain other variables such as average # of trips per month to....

Hooters

Taco Bell

other mexican restraunts and.........

beer consumption

Just throwing it out there for accuracy purposes only.

[aceman387]

anybody wanna take a guess how many pages this topic is gonna take.

[Siebert Outdoors]

I like pulling the sheets over our heads.

careful,  you will dutch oven yourself.

[JigMe]

LOL...this is so funny.

[pa mountain man]

The # really doesn't matter, It's all about hang time. 8-)

[flechero]

since conception   :-X

[Lund Explorer]

The # really doesn't matter, It's all about hang time. 8-)

Hang time is important, but don't forget volatility.  First you've got to get both the wife and the dog to leave the room.  Then you get a bonus if they don't come back!

[fathom]

don't forget the burn time.

all eyes in the room have gotta start burning before you can really feel proud.

including your own.

[pa mountain man]

This is why I hate working 3rd shift, all of the wasted potential. ;D You know you (me) have issues when you're the only one for miles, and still laugh at you're(mine) own air biscuts.

[aceman387]

lets not forget the family get togethers,your surrounded by all your wife's  side of the family and your dying to fart but yet you don't want to ruin that perfect squeaky clean self image that they have of you , its a lot of pressure. that's why its gotta be nice being a senior citizen  they don't care  anymore they must figure how much time do i got left they let em rip no matter who is around or maybe they have gotten so old they cant hear them anymore.

[pa mountain man]

lets not forget the family get togethers,your surrounded by all your wife's side of the family and your dying to fart but yet you don't want to ruin that perfect squeaky clean self image that they have of you , its a lot of pressure. that's why its gotta be nice being a senior citizen they don't care anymore they must figure how much time do i got left they let em rip no matter who is around or maybe they have gotten so old they cant hear them anymore.

I kind of have that attitude now. ;D  Better out than in.

[bilgerat]

Ever leave one hanging in the aisle of a supermarket only to have some innocent person walk into it ? It's worth a peek around the corner to see the reaction

[pa mountain man]

Ever leave one hanging in the aisle of a supermarket only to have some innocent person walk into it ? It's worth a peek around the corner to see the reaction

I call it the wal mart special, if you and 15 of you're closest friends want to have a reunion in the isles ;D...Be prepared for swamp butt.

[Root beer]

Ever leave one hanging in the aisle of a supermarket only to have some innocent person walk into it ? It's worth a peek around the corner to see the reaction

When I worked at K-mart, I walked into one of those things.

[bigtimfish]

I do not exist. I live. When I am old and can't properly care for myself, and are bedridden, then I will be just existing. Until then buddy I am LIVIN. ;D

[moby bass]

Dang, I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts and my eyes are watering.

I can't even get one out at night.  My wife keeps a bottle of air freshener

on the night stand and starts spraying the moment she detects something, either audibly or olfactorily.  The place ends up smelling like a French wh....house

[pa mountain man]

We had a central vac system in our shop in the army, one friday I was vaccuming a mess up, and everyone was hanging out by the vaccum system...you guessed it, stunk everyone out 30 feet away and I didn't have to smell it myself. It was kind of like those star trek transporters. ;D

[tallydude]

I have farted over 107,709 times.

I did that TODAY.