Affairs

[Palomar]

Do you think affairs are mostly started purposely or accidentally?

I've lost count how many I have seen started up at work  It still amazes me on how others convince themselves that their new partner will not cheat on them when in fact that's what started their relationship ;D

[SPEEDBEAD.]

Do you think affairs are mostly started purposely or accidentally?

I've lost count how many I have seen started up at work It still amazes me on how others convince themselves that their new partner will not cheat on them when in fact that's what started their relationship ;D

I am pretty sure that having an affair is far from an accident.....ever.

"Oh honey. I dont know what happened. I tripped, fell, and landed right on this girl at work. Eight times.  Weird..." :

Nope.

[Muddy]

I have one woman,>>and a few women friends, they are all either mates of fellas I hang out with or relatives. I do not even answer females here.There is no such thing as harmless flirting.

When I was younger I had no idea of what being faithful meant, my Uncle Tony was always one to preach;

Fellas hang out with other fellas, too much #&!8 can happen any other way. I finally heard this and it works!

I do not need friends who spend their time talking about how bad their men treat them,shopping and periods.

I do not need a woman's point of view on things, I am a man, my stuff is hard enough to deal with

If I need to know what my other half is thinking I ask her, nothing hard about that.

There is no such thing as harmless flirting

[SPEEDBEAD.]

I do not need friends who spend their time talking about how bad their men treat them,shopping and periods.

And yet, you consider Burley a friend.   ;D

[Muddy]

I do not need friends who spend their time talking about how bad their men treat them,shopping and periods.

And yet, you consider Burley a friend. ;D

He fooled me by dressing in drag!

[Tin]

....ain't....but.....and tricks.

[Catt]

Purposely: with a deliberate or express purpose

Accidentally: happening without intent

One has an affair with the deliberate express intent of having sex

[Zel]

Just Karma I guess.

I've always said I could have any woman I please.

(Unfortunately I never seem to please any of them)

[Palomar]

Purposely: with a deliberate or express purpose

Accidentally: happening without intent

One has an affair with the deliberate express intent of having sex

YES, thats what a fella here at work told me about his last year-It was not planned and it all happen accidentally-so I  ;D at him on that.

The other funny thing is when they believed they made the right choice on the new partner Sooo you believe it won't happen again :

Its a hot topic right now here at work, theres been 6 affairs here in the last three years

[BrianinMD]

There is no such thing as an accidental affair. They may have not had that intention at first, but it was a decision both made to do the deed. Alcohol is no excuse either. To me affairs are one of the worst things someone can do to someone else (I said one of, no need to start listing other things which are worse). With that being said, I am not going to limit my life or my wifes life to having friends of only the same sex. I have female friends, she has guy friends, but we are both mature enough to understand how to act. Only on one occasion have I had to end a friendship, she made some comments hinting at the wrong thing for friends, I have not spoke to her since which has been about 3 years.

[Micro]

He fooled me by dressing in drag!

I don't think he fooled you.  I think you just like anyone in stilettos.  

Seriously, though.  At my place of employment, it's like a friggin' soap opera.   People cheating on their spouses left and right.  It is rather nauseating.   It's gotten to the point that me and several of my male friends are quite frank with each other if we observe one another doing anything that could be questioned.   I want no part of the sordid lifestyles some people are living.  

[bass wrangler569]

[Fishing Rhino]

I find the "everybody does it" excuse to be pathetic.

First, I know not everybody does it, and I only can know for a certainty what I do.  Ergo, since I do not do it, not everybody does it.

Second, those who say everybody does it has to be doing it, otherwise, they would know what I do, that not everybody does it.

The "I made a mistake" confession is worse than pathetic.

A mistake is saying two plus two equals five.  When you know two plus two equals four, and you say it equals five, you know you are wrong, it is no mistake and you are being deceptive.

A person who cheats knows it is wrong.  When they do it it is neither a mistake, nor bad judgement.

[SirSnookalot]

I make no judgement on what anyone else does, it isn't my business and I'm not a marriage counselor.  There are 3 sides to every story, your side, his/her side and the truth.

Any shortcoming in life that I may have had wouldn't qualify me as an expert in your life.

I'm going fishing.

[done]

Purposely: with a deliberate or express purpose

Accidentally: happening without intent

One has an affair with the deliberate express intent of having sex

YES, thats what a fella here at work told me about his last year-It was not planned and it all happen accidentally-so I ;D at him on that.

The other funny thing is when they believed they made the right choice on the new partner Sooo you believe it won't happen again :

Its a hot topic right now here at work, theres been 6 affairs here in the last three years

On the happening without intent, in the cases I have heard about (as I do not go around polling folks), these types of accidents happen because the individual put themselves in a position for it to happen.

For example, I am a frequent business traveler. I do not travel with female coworkers. I am sure their spouses would not like it, and I know my wife would not. While I will meet a male coworker for lunch or dinner occasionally, I would never dine one on one with a female coworker. I do not go out to bars alone (in fact I very rarely go out to a bar at all). We are all intelligent enough to know what situations provide opportunity for these accidents to happen. You can play the "I am tough, I am not weak, it would never happen with me." game or you can avoid those situations altogether and not have to care or worry about how tough you are.

Just my .02. My family means to much to me for me to take those chances.

[Muddy]

KISS; Old saying about not getting loaded:

If you don't pick one up, you can't get loaded

same here

If you do not start flirting, then you will not end up in the sack!

How easy is that?

[fishinfewl]

Horndogs have affairs.  

[RiskKid.]

Easiest way for us old guys to avoid affairs is to put the wife or girlfriend in charge of dispensing the enhancement drugs!!

[Eddie Munster]

I agree with M Starr: don't put yourself in a position where you'd have to explain to your spouse that nothing was happening.

My wife and I trust each other very much but we installed boundaries regarding members of the opposite sex that eliminate any doubt.

As M Starr said:

No travelling with opposite sex coworker and certainly no dinners/lunches with them either. If your job requires that you maintain a close working relationship with a member of the opposite sex, you'd better either act like a complete prude or start looking for a new job.

No member of opposite sex at house when spouse isn't there unless they're YOUR blood relative.

No close friends of the opposite sex. Chicks hang out with chicks and guys hang out with guys.

Any flirting or perceived flirting needs to be talked about IMMEDIATELY. If one of you is doing something that makes the other feel uncomfortable, you'd better say something A.S.A.P.

This may seem like going overboard and of course someone will think 'Man, you guys don't trust each other'. Well we love each other enough not to make each other have to give any benefit of the doubt.

[grimlin]

It's called control.I disagree with not having friends of the opposite sex.

My wife has no problems with my chick friends. Since i relate to my friends as brothers & sisters,thinking about an affair is the last thing.It doesn't "just happen" either.That's just a bunch of bull.

I think the problem lies more in going to the bar with your buddies and not thinking about the consequence when you had a little too much and start flirting with others.That's how affairs start more than anything.

[Captain Obvious]

The point is no real man cheats on his wife, and break up with you girlfriend before you go with some one else and X2 about what grimlin said

[Muddy]

It's called control.I disagree with not having friends of the opposite sex.

My wife has no problems with my chick friends. Since i relate to my friends as brothers & sisters,thinking about an affair is the last thing.It doesn't "just happen" either.That's just a bunch of bull.

I think the problem lies more in going to the bar with your buddies and not thinking about the consequence when you had a little too much and start flirting with others.That's how affairs start more than anything.

It's not  RULE. I am Elaine's mate, not her father. This is the way I conduct myself, I do not ever try to force my stuff onto her. This works well for me, I am responsible for my behavior, I trust her , I do not control her.

[grimlin]

I think I'm confusing you. I'm not saying control her,I mean control yourself.Don't whistle at every fine lady that comes along...If you truly love your wife/mate/girlfriend you wouldn't be doing that otherwise I'd take a second look at the relationship again.

I just don't see anything wrong with having friends of opposite sex.I have a few friends who are chick and she has a few friends who are guys.  

You are right though,it starts with trust muddy.This is where people mess up,if they can't trust their mate,they shouldn't be together.

[Muddy]

I think I'm confusing you. I'm not saying control her,I mean control yourself.Don't whistle at every fine lady that comes along...If you truly love your wife/mate/girlfriend you wouldn't be doing that otherwise I'd take a second look at the relationship again.

I just don't see anything wrong with having friends of opposite sex.I have a few friends who are chick and she has a few friends who are guys.

You are right though,it starts with trust muddy.This is where people mess up,if they can't trust their mate,they shouldn't be together.

Hey , Read my original post to this, I am with yu germlin, I don't give any other woman any play,I am strongly with you

[FishingBuds]

I think I'm confusing you. I'm not saying control her,I mean control yourself.Don't whistle at every fine lady that comes along...If you truly love your wife/mate/girlfriend you wouldn't be doing that otherwise I'd take a second look at the relationship again.

I just don't see anything wrong with having friends of opposite sex.I have a few friends who are chick and she has a few friends who are guys.

You are right though,it starts with trust muddy.This is where people mess up,if they can't trust their mate,they shouldn't be together.

Maybe back in school, but there's no more just my friends. we both are friends together with friends, we don't have our own friends anymore. If I or my wife had a friend that didn't care for one of us then they no longer was our friend. Its a marrige now. you gotta get along with me and the wife since we decided to be mates for life

I laugh at this, if someone thinks-Hey honey, I'm going over to Julie's tonight to watch a movie ;D is a proper marriage, then it must be a different generation I'm not in tune with : I've always believed your wife should be your only female friend to hangout with

I think thats crap if your gonna go hangout with another woman instead of your wife????