bass wrangler569 Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I am making this post in response to the various unmanly threads that have appeared over the past few weeks. These are the Male Codes of Conduct. Read carefully. 1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella 2. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally beaten and killed by his fellow partygoers 3. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination 4. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever 5. The maximum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is five minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait ten minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale 6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a friend's refrigerator is unacceptable. Only complaints about temperature are permissible. 7. Before dating a friend's ex-girlfriend you are required to ask his permission 8. Women who claim they 'love to watch sport' must be treated as spies until the demonstrate knowledge of the game, and more importantly , the ability to pick a chickenwing clean 9. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man 10. The universal compensation for friends who help you move is beer 11. It is permissible to consume a fruity cocktail only when you're sunning yourself on a tropical beach 12. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked 13. A man in the company of a provocatively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight 14. If a buddy is already singing along in the car, you must never join in 15. A man must never use the urinal beside another man if there are other urinals available, preferably two or more stalls away 16. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but never both 17. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem; you didn't see anything 18. No man at any time, shall wear a faux fur lined hooded jacket. If fur is part of the jacket, the rest of the animals hide should be attached as well. 19. Discussing hygiene products and lotions with other men is off limits 20. Purchasing certain female hygiene products is completely unacceptable 21. It is unacceptable to squeal at the sight of an insect or snake 22. Eating pizza or french fries with a fork is not an acceptable practice any additions to these codes are welcome... Quote
Super User bilgerat Posted May 13, 2009 Super User Posted May 13, 2009 If your buddy has a booger hanging out of his nose in plain sight, it's NOT OK to tell him about it. Same goes for toilet paper stuck to a shoe or hanging out of his pants. Let him find out the hard way. Quote
Super User Muddy Posted May 13, 2009 Super User Posted May 13, 2009 Any 'man" who falsely claims to be a veteran of the arms forces or a cop, fireman or first responder of anytype, has to hang out with the children and women. Quote
Captain Obvious Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 When two men are in a car the driver has complete control over the radio. If a friend helps you move you are not allowed to ask him to help you move again in a six month span, a whole year if stairs are involved If another man holds the door open for you, you must punch him without delay, you may only hold the door open for a man if he is with his girlfriend or wife and she goes first. Quote
Super User Muddy Posted May 13, 2009 Super User Posted May 13, 2009 AGREED!!! #4 should read MOTHER, not SISTER Quote
Super User fishfordollars Posted May 14, 2009 Super User Posted May 14, 2009 #4 should be highlighted and crossed from the list. Quote
bass wrangler569 Posted May 14, 2009 Author Posted May 14, 2009 #4 should be highlighted and crossed from the list. alright, 4 is crossed out Quote
Uncle Leo Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 As far as #12 goes is it okay to chase rabbits naked, I only ask because I enjoy a beer or two at times. Is this too much information. Add to the list, What happens in fish camp stays in fish camp. : : : Quote
Super User Jimzee Posted May 14, 2009 Super User Posted May 14, 2009 As far as #12 goes is it okay to chase rabbits naked, I only ask because I enjoy a beer or two at times. Is this too much information. Add to the list, What happens in fish camp stays in fish camp. : : : I don't see why not. My clothes have came off a time or two when alcohol was involved. That is, when high octane alcohol was involved, never with beer. ;D Quote
1inStripes Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 As far as #12 goes is it okay to chase rabbits naked, I only ask because I enjoy a beer or two at times. Is this too much information. Add to the list, What happens in fish camp stays in fish camp. : : : I don't see why not. My clothes have came off a time or two when alcohol was involved. That is, when high octane alcohol was involved, never with beer. ;D Note to self, do not attend any get together with Jimzee in which stiff drinks are available. Quote
BassnMan Mike Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 No matter how romantic your trying to be by serving your wife breakfast in bed on her birthday do NOT COOK BACON NAKED!! I speak from experience here guys, it can be VERY painfull! Quote
senko_77 Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 I believe #7 should be revised. How about...... If your best friend is dumped by a girl it is a 6 month waiting period till she can be touched. If he breaks up with her it's a 6 hour waiting period Quote
Tokyo Tony Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 Any man who continues to talk about how drunk he is should be kicked in the throat. Quote
1inStripes Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 No man at any time, shall wear a faux fur lined hooded jacket. If fur is part of the jacket, the rest of the animals hide should be attached as well. Quote
dallas0996 Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 #8 ....Major factor in why I married my wife; she is a Rabid Football and Baseball Fan (she got ME into fantasy football) Quote
Super User burleytog Posted May 14, 2009 Super User Posted May 14, 2009 If you need a code of conduct to tell you how to be a man, then you aren't a man. Quote
Super User fishinfiend Posted May 14, 2009 Super User Posted May 14, 2009 --Discussing hygiene products and lotions with other men is off limits --Drinks with umbrellas and wine coolers are not permissible --Purchasing certain female hygiene products is completely unacceptable --It is unacceptable to squeal at the sight of an insect or snake -- Eating pizza or french fries with a fork is not an acceptable practice Quote
Branuss04 Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 No man at any time, shall wear a faux fur lined hooded jacket. If fur is part of the jacket, the rest of the animals hide should be attached as well. Great... that settles it then... Senko_77 - We, the male members at BR, are officially taking away your mancard due to a violation of the "Official Male Code of Conduct". Please vacate the premises and do not return . Thank you. ;D Quote
senko_77 Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 No man at any time, shall wear a faux fur lined hooded jacket. If fur is part of the jacket, the rest of the animals hide should be attached as well. Great... that settles it then... Senko_77 - We, the male members at BR, are officially taking away your mancard due to a violation of the "Official Male Code of Conduct". Please vacate the premises and do not return . Thank you. ;D knew this was gonna come up ;D I believe that the termination of my mancard should at least be reconsidered due to my incredible fish catching talent and my ability to eat 40-50 hot wings before the 1st period/quarter of a sporting event ends. I also believe that Tin's mancard should be suspended due to the fact that his GF buys and picks out all of his outfits Quote
Pitchinkid Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 No man at any time, shall wear a faux fur lined hooded jacket. If fur is part of the jacket, the rest of the animals hide should be attached as well. Great... that settles it then... Senko_77 - We, the male members at BR, are officially taking away your mancard due to a violation of the "Official Male Code of Conduct". Please vacate the premises and do not return . Thank you. ;D knew this was gonna come up ;D I believe that the termination of my mancard should at least be reconsidered due to my incredible fish catching talent and my ability to eat 40-50 hot wings before the 1st period/quarter of a sporting event ends. I also believe that Tin's mancard should be suspended due to the fact that his GF buys and picks out all of his outfits i dont think you weigh as much as 40-50 hot wings, so until i witness that first hand im calling B.S. Quote
Branuss04 Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 No man at any time, shall wear a faux fur lined hooded jacket. If fur is part of the jacket, the rest of the animals hide should be attached as well. Great... that settles it then... Senko_77 - We, the male members at BR, are officially taking away your mancard due to a violation of the "Official Male Code of Conduct". Please vacate the premises and do not return . Thank you. ;D knew this was gonna come up ;D I believe that the termination of my mancard should at least be reconsidered due to my incredible fish catching talent and my ability to eat 40-50 hot wings before the 1st period/quarter of a sporting event ends. I also believe that Tin's mancard should be suspended due to the fact that his GF buys and picks out all of his outfits Tin has an exception and will not be tried for violation of the "Male Code of Conduct". Any man who has to go through a spider-bite like that to the "goods" while dating a chick and not being able to.... :-X deserves a free pass as that is punishment enough. We will give Burley the final say as he is the one who supplied us with the evidence to revoke your rights as a man. Good day to you sir ;D Your picture was the first thing I thought of when I read that post so I had to give you a hard time... sorry ;D Quote
Branuss04 Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 ;D LMFAO.... thats epic!!!! LOL... and he's wearing crocks (4bizz - pay attention :) Quote
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