The Darwin awards

[Low_Budget_Hooker]

Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

Here are the glorious top 10 winners:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked. And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Sarare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head  wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [if someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief in the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back20to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, 'Yes, officer, that's her. that's the lady I stole the purse from.'

9. The Ann Arbour News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5- STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on Seattle street , he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The o wner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with your friends and family... unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long-lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

*** Remember... They walk among us!!! **

[senile1]

These are awesome!  Number 4 is scary!  I would hate to have been one of the passengers dropped off at the institution.  

[atx_newbie]

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

Having experienced this myself, I'd say this is justified.

[Muddy]

You can't say evolution around here, we have to use creative design, or we are all gonna burn in you know where

[fishfordollars]

Several of those must be related to my wife's side of the family.

[T-Bone]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief in the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

I would like to see this videotape. ;D

[Pond-Pro]

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

Those were hilarious! (I also liked number 6)

[NYfishwow]

remember the one with guy and stick of dynamite. He lights the stick of dynamite by his car and throws it across the frozen lake. Smart of him that he brought his dog. The dog runs after the stick of dynamite and brings it back. While he was yelling at dog not to get it, the dog is running back to him with stick of dynamite in his mouth. The guy tries to get his gun and shot the dog before they both get blow up.

I think it ended bad though. All true stories!

[Jimzee]

Number 10 makes me very sick to think about.  

[moby bass]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief in the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

I would like to see this videotape. ;D

I don't think this is the one, but it's funny none the less

[Eddie Munster]

Good ones...........

www.darwinawards.com is where you'll find some real gems.  

[burleytog]

So I guess you can fix stupid.

[Stasher1]

These are awesome! Number 4 is scary! I would hate to have been one of the passengers dropped off at the institution.

Might not be that bad. Free room and board, and you get to wear pajamas all day.

[justfishin]

I thought number one was bad until I read number five. Dude, you have got to be kidding me, that's so stupid. I would never do that with a train. Everyone knows you stand on the interstate and do it with trucks !!!---DUH !!!

[Calcutta]

Artifical intelligence is no match for natural stupidity!

[done]

So I guess you can fix stupid.

Sure you can the Darwin award are full of extravagant methods to fix it.

[skillet]

 The herd needs thinning ...

skillet

[.dsaavedra.]

those were really good!