Super User burleytog Posted February 23, 2009 Super User Posted February 23, 2009 http://notalwaysright.com/ A couple of the good ones. You're Only As Old As You Act Grocery Store | Phoenix, AZ, USA (An elderly woman well into her 70s comes through the check-out line with a single bottle of wine. I start to scan the bottle through.) Customer: Wait! Aren't you going to check my ID? Me: Er, no, ma'am, I don't think it's really necessary Customer: Well, that's no good! You should check all ID if you're selling alcohol. Me: Well, okay. May I see your ID, please? (She hands over an ID card that is obviously fake.) Me: ma'am, this card says you're seventeen. Customer: Oh, dear! You've caught me! I'm much too young to be buying this! It's a good thing you were checking IDs. I'd better just go now! *skips out the door* Me: A Penny Saved Is A Penny Spurned Grocery Store | Charlotte, NC, USA (I worked at a upscale grocery store. We had recently ordered new price labels for the shelves and some of them had come in with the wrong price. We had turned these tags backwards on the shelves so that they could not be seen by the customers to prevent confusion.) Customer: Excuse me, son. Me: Yes ma'am, how can I help you? Customer: The milk is marked a different price than this tag says. Me: I am sorry about that ma'am, those are new tags and some of them have old prices on them. If you give it to me I'll take care of it. (Customer hands me the tag, I place it on the mount backwards so it cannot be read without removing it.) Customer: What are you doing? Me: We have been placing all the incorrect tags backwards on the shelves so that when the manager does his walk around he can know which ones he needs to re-order. Customer: Well it was like that before. That's why I turned it around. Me: Ahh I'm sorry for the confusion. These tags are backwards because they are incorrect. The price marked on the items is the correct one. Customer: But I want the price on the tag, it's less. Me: Ma'am there is only one cent difference. Customer: Yes, and I want it for the cheaper price. Me: I'm sorry, ma'am I am only a clerk, I can't change the price for you. If you would like, I can get the manager. Customer: This is ridiculous! You have to give me the cheaper price. I can't afford to be nickel and dimed by you thieves. Me: Ma'am, as I told you, I will get the manager and he can give you the discount. Customer: Good, cause I can't afford to pay the higher price. (Manager has hear the commotion and walks up behind the customer.) Manager: Ma'am, is there an issue? Customer: Yes, your clerk is trying to charge me more for this than the tag says it should cost. Manager: Ma'am, that tag was reversed because it was incorrect. How much is the difference so I can tell the cashier when you check out? Customer: The shelf says $2.12, but the bottle says $2.13. Manager: You called me over here over one cent? You have $400 worth of steaks in your cart, and you call me over here because you have to pay one cent extra for your milk? Customer: Yes. (Manager hands the customer a penny and walks off.) Me: Have a nice day, ma'am. Endlessly Loopy Video Rental | Chicago, IL, USA Man on phone: Hi, I don't think this DVD is working properly. Me: What happened, exactly? Man on phone: We put it in and it plays, but the movie is only a couple minutes long and then it starts over again. Me: Are there any words on the screen? Man on phone: Yes. The title of the movie and some other things. Me: Is there a word that says Play or Play Movie? Man on phone: Yes. Me: Just hit the play button on you remote control or DVD player. Man on phone: Wow! Thanks! It's doing something else now. I just thought it was a short movie. If It's So Easy, Do It Yourself Catering | Connecticut, USA (We get a phone call on a Thursday night in December, the busiest season in catering.) Customer: May I speak to the owner? Me: This is the owner. How may I help you? Customer: NO, I mean the guy who is the owner. Me: That's my husband. I'm sorry, he is busy at the moment. Is there something I can help you with? Customer: I need a catering menu emailed. Me: I can certainly do that for you. When is your event? Customer: Saturday. Me: This Saturday? Like two days from now? Customer: Yes. Me: Well, I apologize but we are completely booked for this Saturday. Customer: That's why I wanted to talk to the other owner. I spoke to him two weeks ago and he said you were not booked. Me: We weren't booked two weeks ago, but we are now. Customer: Well, I've already sent out the invitations, and I need food for my party. Me: I'm sorry, but we are completely booked. We already have three large parties, and we just couldn't possibly take on a fourth. Customer: Can you recommend another caterer? Me: Not really. I've never used another caterer, so I can't recommend one. Customer: Haven't you ever been to a party catered by another caterer? Me: We're caterers. We don't go to parties. We work at other people's parties. Customer: IT'S ONLY 25 PEOPLE! Me: Um okay. Customer: You said you have three parties. Couldn't you just make enough extra food for 25 people and come over and serve it? Me: You mean cater the party? Customer: No, just make some food and bring it over and serve it, and clean up afterwards. It's fairly easy, isn't it? (I adore it when people tell me my 16 hour a day job is easy.) Methinks His Digital Mistress Was Sabotaged Tech Support | Muskegon, MI, USA Customer: My husband spilled a milkshake on his laptop's keyboard. Me: Okay, well it appears that you have our accidental service plan, so let's get you squared away and get this laptop fixed. Customer: Oh, that's great! when will it be back? Me: Two to four weeks. Customer: Oh, that's not good. Me: Why? Customer: Do you give loaners? Me: No, I'm afraid we do not. Customer: Great! You mean he wont be able to watch his porn then?! Me: *blank look* TheBeast has some great stories. When I'm bored, I just go to his store and people watch. It hasn't been a complete day until someone comes out of the pawn shop next door and offers to sell you a brand new Black & Decker circular saw for $20 so they can buy gas. ;D Quote
1inStripes Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 The one about the "short movie" sounds like some lulu's I have talked to before at work. Quote
Super User burleytog Posted February 23, 2009 Author Super User Posted February 23, 2009 I bet you've heard some doozies. I sometimes forget where you work and what you do. Quote
1inStripes Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Oh theres some that make you question whether sterilization is right or wrong. Theres a guy that calls from Hurley that's something to talk to each and every time he calls. That was always a half hour to an hour that I will never get back in this life for each call. One funny thing that happened on a return was a big lifelike rubber snake being placed in a box with the return items. The person at distribution about crapped theirselves. Needless to say its been passed around the different offices in mailings. ;D Sorry Jimzee or Tin if this now happens to you sometime if Burley sends you something. Quote
Super User SPEEDBEAD. Posted February 23, 2009 Super User Posted February 23, 2009 I bet you've heard some doozies. I sometimes forget where you work and what you do. I work for the Department of Public Welfare. :-X Quote
Super User Jimzee Posted February 23, 2009 Super User Posted February 23, 2009 Sorry Jimzee or Tin if this now happens to you sometime if Burley sends you something. I wouldn't expect nothing less from Burley. I've already have to open a few suspicious looking packages from him. None of them have ticking noises yet. Quote
Super User burleytog Posted February 23, 2009 Author Super User Posted February 23, 2009 I bet you've heard some doozies. I sometimes forget where you work and what you do. I work for the Department of Public Welfare. :-X I can imagine... ;D Quote
paul. Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 true story that happened to me not long ago: with my job, i occasionally have to visit people's homes out in the middle of nowhere in towns other than my own. on one such occasion, i had to visit a guy and didn't recognize the address i was given at all. so i called to get directions. his mother answered the phone. i explained that i needed directions to her son's house. she gave me some vague directions which were somewhat confusing given that i didn't know the area very well. "after you get through town you will go down a hill. then you'll cross a bridge. after the bridge you'll see a bar. we live down in there." i told her i understood her directions except for the last part. "what do you do once you get to the bar?" i asked. her reply? "well, sometimes we do karaoke there." ;D ;D ;D Quote
done Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 When I was in High school and college I worked at McD's for 4 years. Some of the highlights: 1. Twice in 4 years some came into the men's room dropped trough, took a dump and spread feces on all 4 walls floor to ceiling. One thing I did learn, that much material in NYS was considered a HAZMAT situation, we had to call in some specialists to clean it up. 2. One elderly woman twice a month for 6 months would go to the store buy a box of tampons, open each of them and stuff them all down a toilet at once and flush. (took the pluber a while to clear the pipes). 3. On 3 or 4 occasions we had drunk people pass out while waiting in drivethru (the cops LOVED responding to those and breaking into the cars passenger side quietly to put the car in park, all the while hoping the guy didn't wake up and slam on the accelerator). 4. The bus stop outside the building was the last stop on a line that started at the Buffalo Pshyc center. Many times they would get on and get off at the last stop and come in for a treat. One woman every couple months would get out come to our store and beat herself to a bloody pulp in front of the counter. 5. Had a jogger come in and threaten (at the top of his lungs) to beat my grill guy to death for messing up his Fish Filet.. He suddenly stopped when I threatened to call the police and have him arrested for child abuse (I suddenly pointed out he was yelling at a minor, 16 yr old). Told him he could leave and come back when he could act like an adult. He loved that. Quote
moby bass Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 All of this just goes to prove...."you can't fix stupid" ;D Quote
bass wrangler569 Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 All of this just goes to prove...."you can't fix stupid" ;D Haha, no you can't fix it, but you can sure as hell make it hurt! ;D Quote
Super User Dan: Posted February 23, 2009 Super User Posted February 23, 2009 When I worked at Dick's a lady came in and tried to return the rod from a $15 rod/reel COMBO that she purchased. She didn't bring the reel because she said there was nothing wrong with the reel. She argued that the rod was broken but I couldn't find anything wrong with it, even when she "pointed it out" to me. She wanted to trade in the rod for credit or another rod. We didn't have any of the same rods left and I explained that she couldn't return just the rod because it was part of a combo that we didn't sell separately. She was furious. I couldn't figure out why she expected to be able to return half of an item, especially when I couldn't even find anything wrong with it... Quote
Pitchinkid Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 A buddy of mine worked at Lowes in the lumber Department. Here is one of his. Customer: Hey man, where is your 1/2" plywood? Jason: Right over here man. Customer: (Looks at the plywood) You got any 1/2" thats thicker? Jason: Not if you want 1/2"! Jason said the guy looked at him like he was an idiot. Quote
tyrius. Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 I worked in a small hardware store in high school and the one that I'll never forget is a guy wanted to buy 3/8 inch pvc fittings. I showed them to him and he said he thought they looked too big. Then he broke out his tape measure and measured the Outside Diameter of the 1/4 fittings and said they were 3/8". He wouldn't listen to a word I said about how he was getting the wrong size. Went to work the next day and the bag of 1/4" fittings were on the counter waiting to be put back. I've always wondered how he could possibly have done any plumbing without even knowing how to determine the size of the fittings. Quote
Super User Root beer Posted February 23, 2009 Super User Posted February 23, 2009 I used to work at K-mart. You be amazed at the crap I've dealt with. This one of my favorite. I was manning the customer service desk for about 15 minute, so the other lady can have her 15 minute break. This ugly looking woman came into store and she had a western union check. She goes "cash this." I replied "I can't, you have to take that to a bank and cash it." She look at me like I'm stupid and went "hunny, you have a western union machine, this here is a Western Union check and I want YOU to cash it for ME." I once again said "Ma'am I can issue you a check, but I cannot cash it. I'm not going to explain to you how banking and checking system work, so trust me your bank will gladly give you cash for it." she once and again said "I want my money! you or Western Union has my money! get me a manager." I called the manager and she comes down and said "we cannot cash your check, but your bank will." She got mad and said "hell with it." and left. I don't understand why she upset? All she had do was go to a bank, there was actually a bank across street. There was a guy in electronic asked if he could have a 900.00 tv for 400.00 and I said "sir, we are trying to make a profit, I cannot sell you that tv for 400.00" He complained to manager about me. She apologized to him on my behalf and told me not to do it again. We laugh about it 2 weeks later. Oh well, I could write a book on things I've seen and done. Quote
slomoe Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 I had someone call for directions last week. I could hear his GPS in the background Me: How may I help you? Customer: Yea, I think I'm lost, can you help Customer's GPS: TURN RIGHT AT LIGHT Me: Sir, where are you now? Customer: I'm coming up to Judicial Dr. on my right. Me: Sir, you just missed us.....you'r going to need to turn around. Customer's GPS: MAKE A U-TURN Customer: Ok, I've turned around. Do I make a right? Customer's GPS: TURN LEFT AT LIGHT Me: No sir, You need to make a left. Customer: Ummm, are you the building with the windows? Me:................................. Uh, we might be, it depends on what building your looking at. Quote
daviscw Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 A buddy of mine worked at Lowes in the lumber Department. Here is one of his. Customer: Hey man, where is your 1/2" plywood? Jason: Right over here man. Customer: (Looks at the plywood) You got any 1/2" thats thicker? Jason: Not if you want 1/2"! Jason said the guy looked at him like he was an idiot. Working in construction, I hang out at the local builder's supply a lot. I can't tell you how many times people have asked for "them wide 2 X 4's". Quote
Pitchinkid Posted February 24, 2009 Posted February 24, 2009 A buddy of mine worked at Lowes in the lumber Department. Here is one of his. Customer: Hey man, where is your 1/2" plywood? Jason: Right over here man. Customer: (Looks at the plywood) You got any 1/2" thats thicker? Jason: Not if you want 1/2"! Jason said the guy looked at him like he was an idiot. Working in construction, I hang out at the local builder's supply a lot. I can't tell you how many times people have asked for "them wide 2 X 4's". lol awesome Quote
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