Banned from Walmart?

[Bassnbrett101]

Banned from Wal-Mart

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to

Walmart.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to

get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she

loved to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the

local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a

commotion in our store.

We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to

ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.

Samsel are listed

below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1.

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's

carts when they weren't looking.

2 .

July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at

5-minute intervals.

3.

July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the

women's restroom.

4.

July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,

'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.

'

5.

August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of

M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7.

August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other

shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the

bedding department.

8.

August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying

and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9.

September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a

mirror while he picked his nose.

10.

September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he

asked t he clerk where the antidepressants were.

11.

October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly

humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12.

October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by

using different sizes of funnels.

13.

October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,

yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14.

October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he

assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least.

15.

October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,

then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Regards, Tom Richards Walmart Manager

[GitRDoneIke23]

I've seen that before. HILARIOUS!!! ;D  ;D ;D

-Ike

[Uncle Leo]

This I just have to try, wonder if it can be modified for all stores.

[JShrock07]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Now I know how to get out of those dreaded shopping trips with the ole lady!!!! ;D ;D ;D

[Hookemdown.]

There is nothing wrong with humming the Mission Impossible theme while entering doorways.

[Muddy]

Heres one I tried 2 halloweens ago. Bring a large bag of the trick or treat size of M&M's to the courtsey desk and tell them you want to return them, because every pack you opened has W&W's in them instead! They were not that amused

[rondef]

That was pretty funny.  

[bass slayer 17]

thats pretty good. also another fun thing to do is to play with their store paging system...

[firefightn15]

Pretty funny.

Years ago I walked into a local dept. store with my cousin and we picked up a tail, store security, before we were all the way in.  We got far enough ahead of him that we were able to switch back and follow him while he was looking for us.  We followed him with that puzzled look on his face for about 5 minutes.  That was fun.

[Evan Pease]

One of my friends and I got chased out of OfficeMAX for hidding behind people and going,"Woop Wooot!" What topped it off is when my phone went off when the guard was talking to us and my ringer was that noise on full blast.

[thefishingone]

Heres one I tried 2 halloweens ago. Bring a large bag of the trick or treat size of M&M's to the courtsey desk and tell them you want to return them, because every pack you opened has W&W's in them instead! They were not that amused

Ahh gotta try that sometime.

[BucketmouthAngler13]

Hahaha that was great!

Thanks for the laugh