Super User Gatorbassman Posted May 13, 2008 Super User Posted May 13, 2008 yea, Those one week trips are hard on them. This year I went to the Bassmasters Classic for one week and then a month later I went on the Guntersville trip. That was a rocky time but we made it through it. I have three boys and she worked her tail off during that time and it what hard on her being left alone. My wife really felt left out during that time. When I got home from Guntersville I did everything I could to remind her that she was still #1. Quote
Brian_Reeves Posted May 13, 2008 Posted May 13, 2008 In all seriousness, my wife came from a family who lives on a lake. The lake is their backyard (yes I'm jealous) She was already pre-conditioned to the fishing concepts and ideas because of her dad. So it doesn't surprise, shock, or bother her when I take off on Saturday mornings or a few afternoons after work. Now that I'm leaving the Army and have no risk of getting re-deployed, a lot of these bass fishing trips are about to turn into weekend redfishing from kayaks trips. Quote
Super User Grey Wolf Posted May 13, 2008 Super User Posted May 13, 2008 If you two are having problems over something this silly , how are you going to work out serious problems ? You both should step back and take a good long look at what you are willing to do for each other. 40 years of marriage to a fine woman but it wasn't easy. Quote
tyrius. Posted May 13, 2008 Posted May 13, 2008 I'm thinking that you're getting a lot of advice from single guys. Some of the advice is just BAD. Anyways, if you want advice just reread this post. This has been interesting... I have been reading this, and I think the situation can be solved simply by letting her know she is just as important as fishing. I understand both point of views. I am a women and yes we tend to sometimes be clingy. I think the problem is when a girl gets the feeling that fishing is #1. No girl wants to be #2 in her mans life. Have you tried to take her? Even if she don't like fishing, make her feel welcome to come. Tell her you would love for her to join you. For a few weeks be extremily annoying about it. Tell her you would have more fun if she would go.( Even if you wouldn't ). The point is to make her feel included. Truth be known that might be all she needs to back off and let you get back to fishing. It took me 10 years to realize I love to fish. I wish I had been asked a few times to join my husband. All I know to say is what a waist of nine years.... Good luck with your situation. I hope my input could help. Teria If you still have significant issues after this then maybe you two aren't as compatible as you need to be to make it. Quote
Super User senile1 Posted May 13, 2008 Super User Posted May 13, 2008 The devil is in the details. I work weird hours so I am not home as much as the average person to begin with. I don't even fish two times a week! How weird? I mean, between work and fishing two times a week does that leave any time for her? If not, you have a problem and she has a right to be somewhat upset. If you do spend some time with her, it is an issue of balancing your time with her and with hunting/fishing. I would hope you guys could discuss this and come up with a compromise if this is the case. Quote
Popeye Posted May 13, 2008 Posted May 13, 2008 Tough situation you are in my friend!! I've been married 38 years and have been VERY fortunate that my wife supports all the sports that I've done over the years. Since I've gotten back into fishing the last year, she wants me to go out and relax/enjoy myself. My take on your dilema is that your GF might be an Alpha type who wants to be the dominant person in your relationship. That is NOT good if it conflicts with what YOU want to do. Some good communication MIGHT solve the problem, might NOT too. IF she got that upset over a trip she knew about for two months in advance and "laid into you" on the morning of the trip, I think she's playing the old "guilt trip" card on ya! Please don't read anything into what I'm saying. I LOVE my wife to no end but when push comes to shove, I normally will do what I WANT to do unless there's a dang good reason otherwise. She knows that. Still, I DO try to meet her in the middle on most things and we talk as much as possible on matters as important as what makes each of us happy. Just my thoughts. Hope things work out OK for you!!! Quote
Davis Posted May 14, 2008 Posted May 14, 2008 If she is that demanding already, no amount of communication will change anything. Not true at all man.... Speaking from experience. Communication and more of it can change a lot of things. Quote
Davis Posted May 14, 2008 Posted May 14, 2008 My head is spinning with all the far ranging replies! First off, thanks for such a response! She will go fishing and enjoys it a little, but I am a fanatic and she doesn't understand that... She doesn't want to go fishing all the time. I work weird hours so I am not home as much as the average person to begin with. So the free days I do have I guess are all that much more important to her and me. The thing that set her off was when I left for PA last week for a 5 day trip to fish and turkey hunt. She just couldn't handle it, even though she knew I had this trip planned for at least 2 months. I mean I was planning on getting up early(3 am) to get on the road and beat traffic, and she starts into me and I am just trying to get some sleep. So for the next hour and half we argued over me supposedly fishing too much. Seriously, when I look at my fishing journal, I don't even fish two times a week! I definitely agree with the need to get the honey do lists out of the way first. Plus we are getting a dog so I hope the dog will keep her occupied instead of being ticked that I am gone. Perhaps I need to sit down more and talk it over more with her. But in the end say, I love you to death, but I fish and hunt and plan on continuing to fish and hunt... It's what I love and it makes me happy. But, if you can't handle that, pack up and move out! It aint easy to break up with a girl you love and have dated for 3 years and are thinking about marrying. At the same time, it aint easy thinking that my future consists of a wife who ******* and moans every time I fish and tried to make me feel guilty for it. Anymore advise??? God knows I need it right now! HAHA Lol if your honest with yourself I'm sure there is more to this story than we all know. Getting a dog to keep her occupied? Come on man. There is more to life than fishing. IMO having a partner in my life like my wife that doesn't have EVERYTHING in common with me is a good thing. We can share in some things that we love and than we have our totally opposite hobbies that we can chill out on our own (like RW was basically saying lol). My point is that your asking a bunch of guys on a fishing site that LOVE to fish. Most of these responses are laughable and "manly" ;D. Your not married now so if you don't think that you can compromise yourself than maybe it is best to cut ties. But if you think a marriage is going to be all "I'm the man and I rule the roost" and expect the relationship to be happy than your mistaken IMO. Relationships are about communication and compromise. I had to learn the hard way....believe me. She was doing the talking but I wasn't doing the listening. Thankfully I woke up and she took me back after a stupid stupid stupid mistake. My wife and I are now very very happy. Quote
harshman Posted May 14, 2008 Posted May 14, 2008 Seriously no one has used this yet. I must see this sticker on a daily basis around here ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D so what you're saying is you love her, but you love to fish and you spend all day out on the lake and hell is all you catch............ yet another one I couldn't pass up. ( "I'm gonna miss her" Brad Paisely) Luckily my wife loves to fish as much as I do, heck I always joke that I married her for her boat. We're even preferred customers at Bass Pro shops. All I can say that is if you try to show a little interest in the things that she likes and you try and get her interested in the stuff you like. Relationships are a lot of give and give and give and take. Harshman Quote
-HAWK- Posted May 14, 2008 Posted May 14, 2008 Lol if your honest with yourself I'm sure there is more to this story than we all know. Getting a dog to keep her occupied? Come on man. There is more to life than fishing. IMO having a partner in my life like my wife that doesn't have EVERYTHING in common with me is a good thing. We can share in some things that we love and than we have our totally opposite hobbies that we can chill out on our own (like RW was basically saying lol). My point is that your asking a bunch of guys on a fishing site that LOVE to fish. Most of these responses are laughable and "manly" ;D. Your not married now so if you don't think that you can compromise yourself than maybe it is best to cut ties. But if you think a marriage is going to be all "I'm the man and I rule the roost" and expect the relationship to be happy than your mistaken IMO. Relationships are about communication and compromise. I had to learn the hard way....believe me. She was doing the talking but I wasn't doing the listening. Thankfully I woke up and she took me back after a stupid stupid stupid mistake. My wife and I are now very very happy. This is the best advice yet.. Quote
farmpond1 Posted May 14, 2008 Posted May 14, 2008 Ah, the old debate continues! My thoughts: if you allow her to control you now, it sets a bad precedence for the future. If fishing is indeed very important to you, than you need to make that clear and stand your ground. Either she'll learn to accept it or it's time to move on. Don't wait until you get married to try to sort this out-unless you want true headaches. Quote
BirdNestBen Posted May 14, 2008 Posted May 14, 2008 She'll keep a list... and if you want to stay with her she'll have to be high above fishing or any other hobbies you may have... she'll keep score as well.... I knew a guy who liked to golf and would sneak out to the driving range... he was scared to get that much into it, for fear his wife would catch on to his new obsession with golf..... to put in mildly he was handcuffed or hen pecked on a short leash... I'll get a lot of flack for this.... but I know this type of girl... believe me....... She's an attention hound... and you'll have to give up fishing if u want to keep her....... or only get that once in a blue moon trip...... What I'd do knowing what I know now??? let's just say I'd pull anchor and go full throttle find another model........ ;D Quote
tyrius. Posted May 15, 2008 Posted May 15, 2008 I'll get a lot of flack for this.... but I know this type of girl... believe me....... She's an attention hound... and you'll have to give up fishing if u want to keep her....... or only get that once in a blue moon trip...... What I'd do knowing what I know now??? let's just say I'd pull anchor and go full throttle find another model........ ;D You know this type of girl from two posts from someone you don't even know? : : : Quote
Fisher of Men Posted May 15, 2008 Posted May 15, 2008 Boy, we need to invite Dr. Phil in on this one. 7 pages and counting. . . Quote
Super User Grey Wolf Posted May 15, 2008 Super User Posted May 15, 2008 Advice is cheap . The consequinces aren't. Quote
Davis Posted May 15, 2008 Posted May 15, 2008 Boy, we need to invite Dr. Phil in on this one. 7 pages and counting. . . lol the puppets on Sesame Street have better advice than Dr. Phil. ;D Quote
TheBeast Posted May 15, 2008 Posted May 15, 2008 Very tough situation, glad I have never had to face it. I am one of the lucky ones that found a great woman who loves the outdoors and understands my fishing addiction. She grew up going hunting and fishing with her dad and truly understands the fascination we have with it. The best advice I have heard was to try and get her involved more. Also you said your work schedule was weird and she may feel that any time you have off should be set aside for her if it is limited. But you are in a situation that y'all live together and you consider any time you spend together as time together, but women look at it differently and the only time they recognize as time together is time that you are alone and she is the center of attention with no distractions. Quote
Cant_catch_fish Posted May 19, 2008 Posted May 19, 2008 LOL I got the opposite problem. Whenever I keep cranky she handsme my poles and tells me to go to the local watering hole. The only problem she has with my obsession is that she thinks I spend too much money at Bass Pro Shop. Then I irked her by getting a job there ha ha ha. Now for her to stop buying nonessential things and let me mount my catches and by a boat Quote
fishbear Posted June 20, 2008 Posted June 20, 2008 I take mine with me. Lucky man whose wife/girlfriend loves fishing/hunting. Quote
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