I need some help

[jwo1124]

Sorry to bring a somber energy to one of my favorite places on the web, but I need some serious advice. I am thinking about dropping out of college for the main reason of I never wanted to go in the first place. In my senior year of high school, 2003, I wasn't planning on going to college. I enlisted in the Army at 17 and headed down to georgia for basic training. Well, I had a pre existing neurological disorder(tourette's) not the funny I swear out of the blue kind, but just a nervous twitchy habit that really only appears during stress. Anyway, my recruiter told me to hide it, but at basic people started noticing it, and I brought it to the attention of a doctor at sick call and told them my recruiter told me not to tell anyone...long story short they didn;t keep me their and home I came. I think it was for the best, since having a nervous or stress disorder in the army isn;t the best thing.

Since I never applied to any colleges or took my SATs since I wasn;t planning on going to college, I enrolled in a Community(2yr.) college. I got good grades becasue I applied myself on the coutn that I thought I "needed" to get into a four year schooo. Well a few years later I am at a local 4yr. State College. I HATE it. I have never been studious, and got through high school on my relatively natural intelligence. I never studied hard and got by with B's and C's since high school really isn;t that difficult. I think the only reason I did good in junior college was because I was motivated to get into a four year school. Now that I am there, nothing truly appeals to me, and I am just going through the motions. I enrolled into the Social Work program, thinking I would like it, not DESIRING to do it. I feel that unless you are motivated my passion or interest in something, you will never succeed.

I'm 22, and I feel in my heart of hearts that college just isn;t for me. I don't like to read, especially not text books. Thee is no Major that truly appelas to me enough to go through college for, and I am just aimlessly, and half heartedly(if that) going through the motions because everyone is telling me that I should, or you need college to make it in life, you know the speal. Anyway, most family emmbers say stick with it, becasue they just want me to graduate and make a good living, I know they have my best interest at heart, but there are other ways of making a living.

I have experience in the restaurant biz, and could fall into that and start supervising/managing and go from there. Managers make a decent living 45-55k after 2-5 years experience. If I can land a job at a corporate place or better yet a high end restaurant I can make a decent living. As I said to my brother today, all I am looking for is to make a living, not change the world, or pursue any sort of specific field. I think I could esily get into the business since I am close with my boss(the owner of the place) and he thinks highly of me. My true passions, where my heart has always been and probably will be) are fishing and exercise. I have always pursued these since my younger years. There are two types of people in this world, those driven my passion and emotion, and those driven by reasoning. Alot of people who are reasoning say, Hey, you go to college, get a job, and live life. But me, who are very passionate and emotionally invested in things, have a hard time focusing on things other than their passions. I figure if I can get a job managing in a resturant I can make a living, then on my off time I can pursue my passions. I would love to try to get into competitive bass fishing, as well as amateur bodybuilding/powerlifting.

I think with enough passion and determination, anything within reason are attainable. I just don't see college doing anything for me in the future when I can get a job that I know a lot about, and have connections in without school. I just can;t do school anymore. I'm not motivated, I'm burnt out, I have a very hard time sitting with my face inside a book studying. I am looking for a route where I can make a decent working class living(not looking to live the life or a fat cat) that doesn;t involve reading enless pages of text books. I learn much better by observing and doing than I do at reading, that's just how I am. I think that's why I got into fishing. I oberved these guys on TV doing what they do, and by watching them and listening to them I learned a lot. I then mastered it by actually doing it myself. This just isn;t they way of college. It's read this, write this, take this test. There is no action, no hands on...

I just need some advice, hopefully some positive stuff and not just the stay in school stuff. I'm really at my wick's end with school, and I think I'm just looking for some unbiased support from other guys that didn;t go the college route and still make ends meet and then some. I am an intelligent, motivated, and creative person, and I think I'm intelligent enough to know when something isn;t working for me, and that's how I see college. I have several friends and a cousin that either didn;t go to school or dropped out and found good work in the electrical field or construction fields.

[Marty]

I just need some advice, hopefully some positive stuff and not just the stay in school stuff.

Sorry, but you should stay in school. I realize that it's not for everyone, but you've got a good start and ought to complete it if there's any way possible, even if you have to put up with something you don't like for awhile.

I don't know anyone who looked back and regretted getting an education. And perhaps most important of all, there is a very large difference in average lifetime earnings for people with degrees and those without.

Best of luck.

[Cajun1977]

i hope you figure out whats the best plan for you as you are the only one who can find it. But i will be honest here, when i was in the navy back in 1995 i never signed up for the gi bill because i hated school and i was never going back, so i wasnt gonna donate my 1200 to the military if i wasnt gonna use. Fast forward to 2007 i turned 30 years old and i just finished my first year of college, i realized (better late than never) that if i didnt get off my a$$ and stop making excuses i wasnt gonna ever have a oportunity for the things i wanted, and a better paying job is what i needed to strive for. Im not saying college is for everybody but i am saying your mind will change 100 more times in the future, you gotta do whats right by you. im paying for college out of my own pockets now because of something i decided long ago. If you have the chance and the money to attend college, then do it. Its not a right to attend college, its a honor. i will be the first in my family to get a diploma and that means alot to me now, and i hope you realize the oportunity that has been laid out in front of you.        

good luck   shawn

[Guest muddy]

Why don't you take a semester off to work, and not quit. Take a leave, if you are a bit way from it you may be better to understand which way to go.

[KU_Bassmaster.]

Why don't you take a semester off to work, and not quit. Take a leave, if you are a bit way from it you may be better to understand which way to go.

Exactly what I was going to say.  

I was one semester away from getting a degree that I was really starting to despise.  School became a HUGE dread and it really started to stress me out.  I really started questioning if I was doing the right thing and I started having interest in other things.  I sat down and talked with my family and they were very supportive.  They supported me and I basically took a year off and took some classes in some other things that interested me.  Now I am headed back to finish my last semester starting tomorrow.  The time away has really helped me and I bet I will get more out of this semester because of it.  Before I was going through the motions just like you were saying.  Getting pretty good grades, but not really getting anything out of it.  You can get as much out of college as you put into it.  I am ready to go back and now see a light at the end of the tunnel so to speak.

Doing some soul searching or trying new things is a luxury we have being young.  Taking a semester or a year off and then going back is a lot easier now then it would be if you decide to go back 10 or 20 years down the road when the responsibilities start to pile up.  I am lucky enough to have a very supportive family as well and they have helped me out immensely.  

[Long Mike]

To quote the old adage, "The more you learn, the more you earn."  

Muddy's right.  Take a breather for a semester and work a low paying job for a while, because a low paying job is the only one you will find.  In the process, think about having a wife and kids, and trying to support them on the money you earn.  Then think about trying to buy a house or a good used car while still supporting your wife and kids on the money you earn.  And then think about trying to buy a boat while making a house note, a car note, and supporting your wife and kids on the money you earn.

College isn't for everyone.  If it's not for you then you MUST learn a skilled trade, and that will require you to keep your head stuck in books for at least a couple of more years.

I fervently hope that you take at least a ten year look down your life's road and decide where you will be.  The decisions that you make now will determine where you will be then.

[roadwarrior]

Why don't you take a semester off to work, and not quit. Take a leave, if you are a bit way from it you may be better to understand which way to go.

And while you're thinking about it, just remember it's worth about $1,000,000 on average.

8-)

[RiskKid.]

You have been given some excellent advice.....if you take the time off try the restaurant biz.....it's not an easy job, some folks love it but that would be a great way to get a taste of it and see how you feel about it.

[jwo1124]

Thanks for the advice, but I really didn;t hear from anyone who made the choice not to go to college or to leave. I was hoping I would hear some stories like that, but I guess not. Personally, I know the value of a degree, both the tangible(the amount of money you'll earn) and the intangible(the respect you get from others for completing college) The thing is, I'm sick and tired of it. I'm sick of spending over $800 a year on books, sick of sitting in a crowded classroom, sick of being assigned text book reading.

I woul dlike to get involved in something where I can learn a valueble skill or trade by hands on work, or an apprenticeship. I am thinking about trying to get into a trade since I feel I would be happier on my feet, moving around and being active during a work day, than sitting in a chair behind a desk. One of my friends got into the IBEW(electricina's union) out of high school and works during the day, gets paid, and gets an education while he is at it. He still goes to class one night a week for a few hours, but it's a single class a few hours a week. Compare this to having to juggle five different courses, five different books, fivwe different professors assigned papers, projects, readings, totaling to  15 hours a week in a class room and then more time outside of class.

I have always found I retain a lot of the information from lectures be listeing and learning, but I do not do well at sitting and reading a book, that's just how I function. Sitting infront of someone and actively listening to them is much more stimualting to me than sitting quietly by myself with my face down at a book. I just think it is the lack of stimulation I feel which pushes me away from it. When I am working in a restaurant I feel the stimulation of what is going on around me, I am on my feet, constantly moving, thinking on my feet,  and it gets me going, and that's what I need. School just doesn't provide me that. The only way I made it this far was drowing myself in coffee to stimulate myself enough to read the text and get by.

I don;t know...the onyl reason I brought this up is because tomorrow is the last day to withdraw from courses and not get charged the $5,000+ for the semster. I took last January-May off, and I went back this past fall, and just felt complete apathy for school, and the same feeling is still there this semster.

I knwo they say a college degree is worth about 1 million extra dollars over a lifetime, but I think it translates into motivation is worht the money. Some people channel their motivation into college and others channel it other places like work. Both, a college degree and four years of solid work experience in a field both take motivation, I think it comes down to what fits you better, working or reading and studying. I don't think either is the right or wrong path, just different roads to take. And like the Robert Frost poem says, soemtimes taking the Road not Taken can make all the difference in the world.

Just think of how you learned to fish. Did you read how to cast, or how to tie a knot, or how to rig a plastic work? Or did you watch someone do it over and over, and then do it yourself over and over? And sure "supplemental" reading sure helped get people more knwoledgable abotu fishing, but so doesn;t fishing with someone more experienced than you and listening to and learning from them.

I guess only time will tell. Thanks again for the advice and the concern.

[grimlin]

I never went to college,i do regret it.Even though i got a somewhat decent job(i'm 32 now and not much saved or much to show for it),i'm living in a trailer park wondering how i'm gonna pay the next bill sometimes.Trust me it isn't always worth it.My girl works at MCDonalds's...now she's 25 and finally figured out she can't get out unless she went to school...so she's in school now learning nursing assistant.

If college ain't for you,look into a vocational schools and into something you might really enjoy.Nowadays it's almost mandate you know something or have some good experience with it.

I wish i went to school for something...problem was i didn't know what i wanted...i still don't. I hate living day to day like i do...all i can do is just enjoy life. :-/

[Fisher of Men]

JWO- Weren't you facing this same situation awhile back in a previous post? If so, the on-going struggle to decide is evident. Please allow me to make two points:

#1- You mention that you could manage a restaurant and pursue your hobbies in your "time off". I don't know if you have experienced the full force of restaurant management, but let me endulge a little. The lady I teach with is married to a restaurant manager. He is at the restaurant as early as 4:00 in the morning unloading supply trucks, and usually there around 7 or 8 to get the morning "prep" crew ready to go. On just about each night he's there until around 7-8 pm, closing about 3 nights a week. He very seldom gets more than one day off a week and many times works 7 days. Because of problems with low-wage hourly employees calling in sick, quitting with no notice, etc., his wife has been filling in for much of the time. She very seldom is able to have a night at home for herself. They're marriage continues to be shakey at best. I know this might be an exception, but doesn't sound very fun to me. I might add that it would seem that you might qualify for assistant manager in some cases (without a degree), but perhaps a degree in Hotel/Restaurant management might bump up the opportunity and the pay scale.

#2- It sounds like your college experience is pretty boring. Perhaps I was just lucky, but after the first two years of college (getting the basics out of the way) mine was very satisfying (then again, I majored in Agriculture Education). As others have stated, perhaps you might try a vocational/trade school instead. You show an interest in the food business; have you ever considered some culinary training? For many, college is just a game of endurance. If you can endure long enough and earn the degree, then you can be a little more selective about which job you get involved in. Perhaps then, things might be more "fun" for you.

I don't know what you expected, but depending how close you are to finishing (if you're within 30 hours or so), you might just try and "endure" a bit more so you can start earning some $$$. Then maybe you can attend some night classes and become involved in another trade. If you are a man of faith, I can assure you that the first place I would go is on my knees. Just my .02 and not an endorsement of the site owner or other membership!!

God bless,

Fisher

[Tin]

I was in school last year, truthfully, got burnt out. I had school from 7:30-11, work from 11:15-4:30, then back to school until 10. The up all night with homework, papers, and studying. So I took this semester off and I'm acctually excited to go back on Tuesday. I have a lot of motivation and acctually want to go back to school.

[Lucky Craft Man]

I spent 12 years in college (Not working on just one degree - ended up with 4), and I really enjoyed it (until the end, where I finally started to get burned out). If you don't enjoy it and see no reason to be there, quit. But remember, what looks like a solution to a problem may only be a short term fix and could have long term effects.

[mattm]

JWO,

I hope my advice helps, and I wish that I could tell you to follow your heart.  However, I decided to stop going to school w/ about 70% of a degree completed, and today I regret it.  Actually the dean after reviewing my grades one semester decided I should stop going for a semester, but I essentially decided to quit when I stopped going to class.  All of this after being on the Dean's List for two years.  I'm very fortunate now to have a job making very good money, but I lucked into it through a friend when the housing market was good.  Before that job I was working in a machine shop and drinking 3/4 of a gallon of Carlos Rossi sangria to forget how terrible my day was.  

I can't imagine what I would do if I lost my job in home sales, and could not get another one.  I'm pretty sure that with no college degree it wouldn't be pretty.  I know that you might not think thats its all about money, and you are right 50-60k is a decent living.  However, as Cajun said eventually you start wanting the things you want.  I can't advise taking a semester off either.  Most of the people I know, including me, don't make it back after doing this.  I know Tin and some others did, but they should be congratulated for being better than most.  It also really sucks everytime I think about college.  It something I didn't finish, and as a more mature man now that bothers me.  So many jobs now require a college degree.  Not necessarily in that field, but a degree.  Say you work as a restaurant manager for one place 10 years then it goes out of business.  Are you sure that restaurant manager won't need a college degree 10 years from now. Keep in mind that this is my advice even though I make a much better living in my current profession than I would of in my degree field.  You can do it, and you are so close in the big picture.

[farmpond1]

My2 cents worth:  If you reeeeeealllly lack motivation/drive/incentive, you might consider sitting it out for a while and work.  This might help in a couple of ways.   First, experience and time might help you in determing what direction you ought to go (both professionally and academically).  Secondly, it might motivate you as you come to understand the limitations of possessing just a high school diploma.

If you decide to sit it out for awhile, be conscientious in the decisions you make.  For example, getting married and having children (or just having children) can have a major impact on your resources and energy.  There's nothing that says you can't go to school later in your life (a lot of people do it) but if your circumstances prevent it, then you're stuck.  Just use your head and don't spend more than you make.  Put some money aside.

[Zel]

Just something to consider. If fishing is your passion, you can fit it into your college education if you really want to. Look at the National Collegiate Bass Fishing and the colleges that participate and transfer to one, or organize your current college to participate. Get a degree in marketing or communications, which will help you in a potential fishing industry career, and the degree is general enough for other types of careers. If you really want to make your remaining time in school enjoyable, you can do it.

http://www.collegiatebasschampionship.com/Schools.htm

[CFFF 1.5]

First off you need to think about whether or not you are going to be happy managing a restaurant. You have to think about when you will have to work at a restaurant. You will have to work weekends and nights since nights and weekends are the busiest time for restaurants. Also if you are making 45k a year managing a restaurant ask them how many hours a week they work. You are probably looking at around 60 to 70 hours a week not fun. You say you like fitness so major in a sports fitness related field. You could be a personal training and be a nutrionist. You have to expand your thoughts and think what you can do not what you don't want to do.  I dreadfully hated college alos but I liked computers and ended up getting a degree in Management Information Systems and now I make a good living and enjoy my job on most days and fish on the weekends.  I think that is all you can ask for.

[GeneinTX]

I never finished a degree. I went into the military right out of high school and ended up staying and retiring. I am now 42, although I have a good job now, I am still working with the military so I haven't needed a degree. I would like to move away from that arena, but without a degree I would make considerably less. Another thing to look at is that my wife has a BA and during our 20 years of traveling with the army, she was able to get a well paying job at every destination and was never without a job for more than 2 weeks.

Not finishing a BA or BS degree is the biggest regret of my life.

I personally would look into another degree plan and find some thing that you are passionate about (fish and wildlife managment?) A little break to help you decide may be a good thing.

Now if I can put the rod down long enough I need to finish my degree!