Man Laws :)

[Redlinerobert]

Man Laws

1:Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.

( The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.

© After wrecking your boss' car.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is

strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless

model and only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other

situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

21: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

22: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

23: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

24: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

25: The only time two men are allowed to hold hands is if one is dangling over a cliff... and only then if family

[Jimzee]

Still laughing!!

[RiskKid.]

Classic!!!!

One exception.....if you are from Tennessee and a big Vol fan an orange car is the preferred color for a man even more so if its an orange pick up!  

[Tin]

I started laughing at the first one and never stopped.  ;D

[MALTESE FALCON]

Now that was funny!!

Falcon

[Siebert Outdoors]

I started laughing at the first one and never stopped. ;D

Me too.  good stuff RLR

[Low_Budget_Hooker]

Good stuff.  Needed a little cleaning but good stuff.

[Guest muddy]

FRIENDS DON"T LET FRIENDS WEAR IRANIAN WAR HELMETS TO DINNER>>>>> Does this mean that LONG MIKE has no friends?