Trying to have a baby...scared!!

[stilldontlikeyou]

Ok guys,

I came here scared and looking for support    Me and wife decided on trying to have a baby, we're both 25, and both have that urge to be parents.  We've thought about it now for a good year, and recently started trying.  I am excited, but also scared!  I'm not afraid to admit it....I got a million things running thru my head.  Does anyone here know of any good websites???  Or have advice??  My wife is being more of a man about this than I am lol  ;D  I know I got 9-10 months to get ready, but that'll go fast!!  Thanks!!

[logger]

My son is 6 months now, our first. So having just gone through everything you are I can honestly say you are normal for worrying, and when the time comes you will worry if you are doing everything right etc.. but you will honestly get past all that and you will kick in to parent mode and you just do what is best for the baby.

From my experience the best thing you can do is not read a whole bunch of books/ websites. They all say contradicting things. Obviously some reading will help you understand things but, you can definatley go overboard. That was what my wife did and she was always freaking out that we weren't doing things right, or the baby should be doing this or that because of what she read in this book or that website. EVERY KID IS DIFFERENT AND THERE IS NOT A BOOK FOR EVERY ONE OF THEM. You do the best you can and go with your gut. I highly reccomend taking the birthing class at the hospital because that's for you "the coach". I learned a ton on how I could help my wife during labor and what to expect.

Any moron can write on the internet (just like I am  ;D) So don't believe everything you read. Good luck and post pics of the little one when the time comes

[grimlin]

Just part of life...being scared.Once you become a father you start to pull away from all the partying and start doing more family things.

You'll be fine,just read up on some things and go to the doctor with your wife as much as you can.Those trips will really help because you can ask the doctor anything and they will be willing to help as much as they can.Plus like another member here,you won't get screwed on doing all the housework.You'll know what's safe for your wife to do during pregnancy.  

[TopDog]

Just do it, Have them now that you guys are young and have energy!  It will be a life change, but a good one. My son is 6 now, my daughter is 4. I have a fishing partner all the time now .

I am there dad, there friend, there coach.  I love it.  

If you worry about being ready...dont, you never will be. just do it and roll with it.

[Matt Fly]

Don't know how close you guys are to your parents, but last time I needed advice along these lines, I had my mom to go to.

Thats what mothers are for.    Man, I work at a hospital and have inside info, so if you ever have specific questions, just pm me and I'll get you the consensus of vote from the Labor and Delivery staff.

I do it for my daughter and grandson all the time.        Just like millions of other expecting couples, they didn't know much either and they survived like you guys will.

good luck on having a healthy fishing partner.

Matt

[stilldontlikeyou]

Thanks everyone!! I feel better knowing I'm not the only who freaked out this bad.  Like someone said, I'm ready....But not ready.  I gave up my party days years ago, I was never really into that scene.  We were both the dorky types.  Either way, I'm excited, now I'm just waiting for the day she gives me the news    

PS.  Good tip on the housework thing, I'll have a few questions for the Dr. myself  

[Guest avid]

Freakin' out now is a GOOD THING.

There's no place for it after the baby is born.

good luck and God bless you and your growing family.

[=Matt 5.0=]

My son turned a year old last month, it is a CRAZY time! I was kinda freaking out during the pregnancy (our first). It's part of the whole deal. FWIW my wife got alot of help from www.babycenter.com and also the book " What to expect while expecting" it's good reading for both the mom and dad. Good luck  

[skillet]

 While you are freaking out :otry and enjoy every minuite of it. When you get older they will be some of you and your wife's best memories ...

                                 As Ever,

                                  skillet

[Low_Budget_Hooker]

If you weren't nervous, I'd be worried.  It's probably the biggest decision of your life.

GOOD LUCK !!!  

[Guest muddy]

If you weren't nervous, I'd be worried. It's probably the biggest decision of your life.

GOOD LUCK !!!

FROM THE MAN WHO REALLY KNOWS HOW TO MAKE EM, HE HAS A LOT OF PRACTICE

[Fisher of Men]

Hey man,

Don't sweat it. My wife and I hesitated for several years as to whether or not we would be able to afford a child, and received the same comment from everyone: "Well if you wait until you can afford them, you'll never have one." Our decision was affirmed while reading in the Bible this verse:

"Psalm 127:3- Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward." We then decided that since a child was a gift from God, that He would provide us with the resources and knowledge to take care of one.

I'll never forget that feeling my wifes first positive pregnancy test (especially after confirming it with a doctor). I remember having butterflies in my stomach because this was for real. However, my wife suffered two miscarriages before we had our daughter. I'm not trying to worry you, but if this happens it happens for a reason. Don't give up. Oh, what a blessing having a child is. I remember coming home to the our daughter's nursery and as I held here I looked up and thought, "OK God, this is for real. . . now what?" Throughout the early years, even though we had researched everything and read up, it just seemed that God sort of "let down" any knowledge we needed when we needed it. I wouldn't trade any of the experience for anything in the world.

I haven't read all the posts but one book series that we found really helpful were the "What to expect. . . " books (like Matt 5.0 said). It will take two of you to make this baby and there needs to be two of you raising it. Be there for your wife. I don't care how much others kid about it, but help her with the housework, changing diapers, bathing. . . everything!

Bottom line is trust God and all will work itself out. People have been having children for thousands of years, and have been very successful at it. Let us know if something develops, and until then, have fun trying!!

-Fisher

[stilldontlikeyou]

Hey man,

Don't sweat it.  My wife and I hesitated for several years as to whether or not we would be able to afford a child, and received the same comment from everyone: "Well if you wait until you can afford them, you'll never have one."  Our decision was affirmed while reading in the Bible this verse:

"Psalm 127:3-  Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward."  We then decided that since a child was a gift from God, that He would provide us with the resources and knowledge to take care of one.

 I'll never forget that feeling my wifes first positive pregnancy test (especially after confirming it with a doctor).  I remember having butterflies in my stomach because this was for real.  However, my wife suffered two miscarriages before we had our daughter.  I'm not trying to worry you, but if this happens it happens for a reason.  Don't give up.  Oh, what a blessing having a child is.  I remember coming home to the our daughter's nursery and as I held here I looked up and thought, "OK God, this is for real. . . now what?"  Throughout the early years, even though we had researched everything and read up, it just seemed that God sort of "let down" any knowledge we needed when we needed it.  I wouldn't trade any of the experience for anything in the world.  

I haven't read all the posts but one book series that we found really helpful were the "What to expect. . . " books (like Matt 5.0 said).  It will take two of you to make this baby and there needs to be two of you raising it.  Be there for your wife.  I don't care how much others kid about it, but help her with the housework, changing diapers, bathing. . . everything!

Bottom line is trust God and all will work itself out.  People have been having children for thousands of years, and have been very successful at it.  Let us know if something develops, and until then, have fun trying!!

-Fisher

Appreciate the post!    Well the wife was showing signs of pregnancy the past couple of days and she took a test and it was negative...   :-[  I think we were both dissapointed.....It'll take time though, I know you can't rush things like this it will come in due time.....I can't wait for that day though!!! At least its fun trying  ;D   Thanks everyone!