I hope she wakes up.

[tipptruck1]

I have a good female friend that has a horrible boy friend. I got a call from her this afternoon and I could tell she was upset. So I asked her what was wrong. She said Her boy friend was yelling at her becasue she hasn't got him a brithday present yet. She then tell me his brithday is not intill a few weeks from now. Iam thinking hes a cry baby. Well she then tells me he wants it before becasue he might be going back to prison. I guess as part of his parole he had to get a full time time. All he can get is a part time job. But he was in for rape and gun control. She has called me a few times crying because he hurt her. I have told her a few times a woman should not be treated like how hes treating her. But then she says I love him so munch. I just hope she wakes up and finds a better man.  

[preach4bass]

Let's make a pro/con list for this boyfriend:

Cons: Rape, gun control violations, yelling at her over a birthday present (when his birthday is a few weeks away), on parole, on his way to jail....

Pros: He hasn't killed or seriously hurt her....yet.

She needs to dump this guy immediately. If she continues to mess around with him she'll definately end up hurt emotionally, and most likely physically.

[Cephkiller]

Tipp,

I can't believe all the stuff you have to go through.  Sometimes I think my life's tough and then I read one of your posts and I thank God that I am as fortunate as I am.  I hope that all of these adversities you are going through will make you a better man.  It certainly should be making you mentally tough.  I will pray for you and your friend.

Ceph

[tipptruck1]

You know Cephkiller I cant belive I go through all this stuff also. I swear I have more life lessons in me at 21 then most people do that are 90. I guess I just have a big heart. To make it worst she knows I have a big heart. So she feels like she can come to me and talk. Thats dosn't bother me one bit. But When she calls me crying that is what trips my trigger. Then I feel worst that she lives a few hours away and I cant do a thing.

[Guest the_muddy_man]

Tipp: this is not meant to slam you, this is from the experince of my mistake choices and I hope you do not have to go through the pain and misery I have gone through. The stuff you find yourself wrapped up in YOU ARE VOULENTEERING FOR. Stop drinking, hang out with people who dont get loaded all the time,carry weapons foir the wrong reasons and especially jerks who put their hands on women.

I spent 27 years using and getting loaded and my life was full of the same problems you are having now, thats how it starts. Within a short time, I was drinking every day, then I was using drugs, then I got shot and found myself homeless at 41. Not everyone who drinks has a problem BUT PROBLEM DRINKERS ans DRUG USERS have a way of finding each other. TIME FOR A REALITY CHECK. You seem like a fine young man, but this is from experience LOOK AT YOUR LIFE, get a mentor and change your friends You may be headed for trouble. Cut the drama you will have enough things to fet about as you get older.

Like I said Im puttin myself out here and I am not trying to bash you, but you maybe headed for trouble!!!!!

[Low_Budget_Hooker]

I know Muddy well, and that's from the heart right there.

Drama attracts more drama.  

[JayW]

Sounds like a really nice guy. :-? I'm amazed at people sometimes. You wouldn't think any woman in her right mind would even want to look at a guy who has been convicted of rape. Makes you wonder! :-/

[Gotta Love It]

Tipp...  Listen to Muddy!  That is a heartfelt and genuine response to your dilemma!  And Muddy is speaking from experience!  I hope everything works out for your friend and she makes it out of this situation alive!

[tipptruck1]

Muddy belive me you didn't slam me one bit. I guess I just have a big heart. I hang out with some good guys and woman weekely. I just have a couple of friends that have strayed. But they all have come back to there senses. But thees guys and gals were the first to forgive me for my theft. I belive they have kept me out of a lot of trouble. I would rahter dispoint my famliy then my friends.  The reason my famliy all ready thinks iam a failer. And theres times I think there right. My grandma has talked me down many times. So I guess Iam just glad I have like 3 or 4 friends that iam close to. And when they stray I try to help them out like they would me. My buddy has even talked my out of moving away becasue of my problems with my family.

[Fisher of Men]

Hey Tipp:

Muddy's right. Sometimes you just have to cut ties with the circle of friends you have and find new ones. Right about your age, I started running with a bunch of guys who drank and smoked pot. I had vowed to my "old friends" and myself that I would never do drugs. However, one thing led to another, and I tried pot one night while I was drunk. One bad choice led to another. Fortunately before I got sucked into that lifestyle, God sent me a reality check in the form of a wonderful young lady who would soon become my wife of 16 years. All of the rest of my life we have been involved in church activities and my entire circle of friends are Christian and practice pretty wholesome lifestyles. I'm not telling you to completely forget about those that you run with, but have you ever considered going to a local church or "wholesome" singles group or something? I don't want to sound preachy, but some exposure to some "good news" might be good for you. I know some exposure to some moral individuals would help. Alot of churches now have "Singles" groups and "Career and Professional" groups. These groups have socials and all sorts of activities as well as support groups, etc. You might look into one.

Again, just free advice from someone who's "been there/done that". It's OK to be a "shoulder to cry on" and offer a helping hand, but you my friend have a life to live, a career to develop, etc. Think about yourself for once and do what's right.

God bless,

Fisher

<><

[Fisher of Men]

BTW-  Regarding the topic.  Tell your friend to LEAVE that jerk!!  Any man who will put a hand on a woman and treat her like that is a sumbag and doesn't deserve ANY woman.  She's not obligated to get him anything for his birthday and she needs to get away from him, FAST!

[abelfisher]

Tip, this is from the heart.

Muddy is right. Get new friends!

[bassboy1]

Muddy belive me you didn't slam me one bit. I guess I just have a big heart. I hang out with some good guys and woman weekely. I just have a couple of friends that have strayed. But they all have come back to there senses. But thees guys and gals were the first to forgive me for my theft. I belive they have kept me out of a lot of trouble. I would rahter dispoint my famliy then my friends.  The reason my famliy all ready thinks iam a failer. And theres times I think there right. My grandma has talked me down many times. So I guess Iam just glad I have like 3 or 4 friends that iam close to. And when they stray I try to help them out like they would me. My buddy has even talked my out of moving away becasue of my problems with my family.

I disagree with that a bit.  Ya see, friends come and go, but you are stuck with your family.  There ain't a thing you can do about it neither.  Your first line of business should be to make your family proud.  Then, you make your friends proud.  

Right now, you should do your ABSOLUTE BEST to make your family proud.  That is the important thing.  Someday, you will wish that you had done that, and you can't, cause granny don't live forever.  Do it NOW, while you can, then work on your friends.  

[Panamoka_Bassin]

Muddy belive me you didn't slam me one bit. I guess I just have a big heart. I hang out with some good guys and woman weekely. I just have a couple of friends that have strayed. But they all have come back to there senses. But thees guys and gals were the first to forgive me for my theft. I belive they have kept me out of a lot of trouble. I would rahter dispoint my famliy then my friends. The reason my famliy all ready thinks iam a failer. And theres times I think there right. My grandma has talked me down many times. So I guess Iam just glad I have like 3 or 4 friends that iam close to. And when they stray I try to help them out like they would me. My buddy has even talked my out of moving away becasue of my problems with my family.

I disagree with that a bit. Ya see, friends come and go, but you are stuck with your family. There ain't a thing you can do about it neither. Your first line of business should be to make your family proud. Then, you make your friends proud.

Right now, you should do your ABSOLUTE BEST to make your family proud. That is the important thing. Someday, you will wish that you had done that, and you can't, cause granny don't live forever. Do it NOW, while you can, then work on your friends.

I see the exact opposite of what you're saying.  Like you said, you're stuck with your family, but you choose your friends.  You rarely have a choice regarding family, and since they think they know you the best, they will always be the most critical of you regardless of how saintly or devilish you may be.  Friends, on the other hand, are your choice, and you can keep them or get away from them as you wish.  Trying to please your friends should be easiest if you be yourself, but I find that when I am being myself I get the biggest head-aches from my family.

As for your friend, Tipp, not that I will ever condone violence of any sort, but it sounds like her boy friend needs a good old fashioned butt whuppin'.  Men that abuse women are among the most contemptable people there are, and if no one stops it, it will continue unabated.

Just MHO...

[RiskKid.]

Hey Tipp.....you got some really good advice from the heart of one great guy...Like LBH I know him too......Muddy has been there done that, he now helps young people every day....that is his profession.....I would listen strongly to what he says

[mattm]

Tipp,

    I agree with Muddy.  Its like Bill Parcells father once told him " Parcells your always there but its never you".  Futhermore, your friend is not being a very good friend to you.  She is using YOU, my friend.  She knows you have a big heart and still calls you with her problems, so that you will worry about her, and she has absolutley no intention of doing anything about the problem.  Try saying something like this.  "Friend I know you are going through a difficult time in your life and that really upsets me.  However, the only way to fix this situation is to leave your boyfriend no matter how much it will hurt right now.  Your boyfriend will never see the errors in his current actions unless he has some serious current consequences for his actions.  Unfortunately I will no longer be able to talk to you about this issue b/c it greatly upsets me and is disturbing family, personal and work relationships."

[NJfishinGuy]

for whatever reason allot of chicks are attracted to dirtbags and cant seem to leave ******** the worse they are the more they "love him"

[Guest avid]

There's somethng about a girl who says "but  I love him so much"

when talking about an abusive rapist who's on his way back to prison that sorta makes me wonder.

There are some people in this world who need to be miserable.

whenever you try to "pick someone up"  you run the risk that they will drag you down.

Listen to the muddyman.