Where To Live After Retirement.

[frogtog]

Subject: Fw: Where to Live After Retirement

You can live in Phoenix, Arizona where.....

1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.

2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the

toilet bowl.

3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.

4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.

5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when

you open your oven door.

6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

You can Live in California where...

1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.

2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.

3. You know how to eat an artichoke.

4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.

5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it

will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought

You can Live in New York City where...

1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.

2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus

Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

3. You think Central Park is "nature,"

4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language

makes you multi-lingual.

5. You've worn out a car horn.

6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You can Live in Maine where...

1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.

2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.

3. You have more than one recipe for moose.

4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.

5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and

construction.

You can Live in the Deep South where...

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

2. "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.

3. "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.

4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean,

MARY BETH, etc.

You can live in Colorado where...

1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.

2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at

the day care center.

3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.

4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You can live in the Midwest where...

1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.

2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.

3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.  (so true)

4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"

5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was

different!"

AND You can live in Florida where..

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.

2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.

3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.

4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.

5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

[Bassboy15]

lol, the midwest one is true, but seriulsy, do people in other states actually meet celebs?....SWEEET

[PaparockArk]

Ultimate retirement vehicle. Live where you fish and fish where you live. Cuts down on the gas too.

[frogtog]

Where did you get the picture of my brother. he's been missing for ten years. ;D

[fishbear]

and how did he get my RV???????? ;D ;D ;D ;D

[fishbear]

Frog, you forgot one

The Pacific Northwest, where you rust instead of tan, everyone is hopped up on Starbucks, and it rains for 9 months out of the year!!!!

[Guest Bountiful_Waters]

When I retire, I just want to be above ground and not 6ft in it!

[Guest avid]

Florida,

where you can become alligator bait jumping into a pond to avoid being devoured by fire ants.

New York,

where women make reservations for dinner.

Nashville,

where you can earn 5 million a year singing about how poor you are.

Los Angeles,

where you can  participate in the ongoing study of the effects of sunlight on silicone.

[Guest the_muddy_man]

NOW HE'S STEALING MY JOKES

BROOKLYN

Where people say WELCOME NOW GO BACK TO WHERE YOU JUST CAME FROM

Where the weak are Hunted and eaten

Where Up your'S:: borders on a compliment \

and best of all THE MOOK CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE 8-)

[Root beer]

The deep south is true. When I lived in Alabama there was a store, where I could get grocery, gas, bait, and movies. I'm dead serious lol. ;D

[56 crestliner]

Wow the Midwest one is so true for me. My granpa complains if he has to wait at a stop sign for more than two cars. but seriously other people dont end a sentence with a preposition? :-?

[PaparockArk]

http://www.ozarkmtns.com/fishing/dir.htm

http://www.bullshoals.com/index.asp

http://www.ozarkvacations.com/maps.htm

http://www.norfork.com/index.asp

The former all-tackle World Record Brown, still the

Arkansas state record at 38.9 pounds. It too was taken

on the North Fork River.

5 to 7 pound Rainbow are fairly common in the catch & release areas.

The current state record Rainbow is a 19 pounder caught in the White River.

They are mostly in Norfork lake but this one was caught in Bull Shoals.

Line-Class & Other Records

1. Smallmouth Bass - 7 pounds 4 oz. -state record caught on Bull Shoals Lake

2. Spotted Bass - 7 pounds 15 oz - state record caught on Bull Shoals Lake

3. White Bass - 5 pounds, 5 oz. - state record caught on Bull Shoals Lake

4. Cutthroat Trout - 9 pounds 9oz. - state record caught on White River

5. Ozark Bass - 1 pound 4 oz. - state record caught on North Fork River

6. Black Crappie Line-Class World Records:

8# test: 1 pound 1 oz. - Bull Shoals

10# test 1 pound 11 oz. -Bull Shoals

12# test 1 pound 11 oz. - Bull Shoals

14# test 1 pound 13 oz. Bull Shoals

7. Striped Bass - 50 pounds on 6# test - World Line-Class Record - Bull Shoals

8. Blue Catfish - 68 pounds on 8# test - World Line-Class Record -Bull Shoals

9. Walleye - 19 pounds 13 oz. on 4# test - World Line-Class Record - Bull Shoals

10. Catch & Release Line-Class World Record Browns - White River

34 inches World Record All-Tackle

23 inches on 2# test

32 inches on 4# test

32 inches on 6# test

34 inches on 8# test

33 inches on 10# test

11. Cutthroat - Catch & Release World Record - 20 inches on 2# test - North Fork River

The Mountain Home / Twin Lakes Area has the following fishing waters in the area.

Lakes

Norfork Lake

Bull Shoals Lake

Streams

Myatt Creek

Crooked Creek

Piney Creek

Dry Run Creek

Rivers

White River

Buffalo River

North Fork River

Spring River

South Fork of the Spring

Bull Shoals Lake and the White River

Bull Shoals Lake, and the White River below its dam, are synonymous with fishing in Arkansas. The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers project, located in north central Arkansas on the Missouri-Arkansas state line, enjoys a wide reputation for lunker bass fishing along with its twin, Lake Norfork, just to the east. Bull Shoals Dam was completed by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers in 1951. It is the fifth largest concrete dam in the United States. Including the portion located in Missouri, the lake totals some 45,500 surface acres. Almost 1,000 miles of rugged shoreline is open to visitors and 60,000 acres of public land provide a variety of opportunities.

Fishing: Scrappy largemouth bass, spotted bass and white bass abound in the lake, along with crappie, channel cat, bream and walleye. Largemouth bass fishing is a popular sport on Bull Shoals Lake. Bass weighing up to 12 pounds are caught here. The year-round fishing is enhanced in the early spring by the walleye and white bass run in the upper reaches of the lake and the growing popularity of night fishing for trout, white bass and crappie in the summer. Black bass fishing is at its best between September and May. Below the dam, the frigid waters of the White River have gained a national following of trout fishermen, who flock to try their hand at hooking rainbow, brown and cutthroat trout. Resorts and trout docks offering guide services line the banks of the White below the dam. A large federal fish hatchery nearby assures a continuous stocking of the river.

Bridges spanning Lake Norfork allow travelers on Highway 101 and Highway 412/62 to see a magnificent view of Lake Norfork.

Norfork Lake and the North Fork River are supreme year-around fisheries and outdoor recreation destinations. While tens of thousands of people vacation and fish here every year, the vastness of the area allows uncrowded action. The water, air, and lands are clean, and the crime level is one of the lowest in America. This part of the Ozark Mountains has a mild winter having many days warm enough for "shirt sleeve" activity. Spring and fall weather is some of the most beautiful of the year.

I live in Lakeview, a small community right on the shore line near the dam on Lake Bull Shoals. Below is a picture of my boat if you come to the area and see me out on Bull Shoals.