You're An EXTREME Redneck When.....

[squid]

You're An EXTREME Redneck When.....

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

[Cigarlover 1]

#7  

[tipptruck1]

#11 Was great.

[edbassmaster]

#2 LOL!! Funny list, but you do know you insulted Squid!!

[squid]

#2 LOL!! Funny list, but you do know you insulted Squid!!

I am not insulted one bit....lol....OH....you meant the OTHER SQUID....lol

[Root beer]

I'm number 2.... haha, funny list. I've seen it before, and still laugh.

[Guest avid]

Now I don't care who y'are, that there is funny.

[Raul]

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean

What 's a rest room ? :-/

[Redlinerobert]

restroom = bano.  

That was hilarious man.

[Bassboy15]

HAHAHA ;D I dont get 16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

[mjhutch1116]

Number 16 means that you sweetheart is your sister, and you can not marry her for that reason.  Love the list very funny stuff.

Matt

[edbassmaster]

#2 LOL!! Funny list, but you do know you insulted Squid!!

I am not insulted one bit....lol....OH....you meant the OTHER SQUID....lol

Yeah...you hurt the other Squid's feelins...shame on you. LOL

[Raul]

restroom = bano.

That was hilarious man.

Thanks Red, we us rednecks call them outhouses.  

[Root beer]

Half of those words up there aren't even in redneck language. Like why is it "hey guys?" It should be "hey y'all, watch this"

but it still funny.

[the old fishing pond]

loved #1!

[bassboy1]

When the mast of your sailboat has a deerstand on it.

When the deer head in the living room has more than one pair of panties (XXXXL's nonetheless) hanging on it.

When people see your yard and ask if you are having a yard sale, and ya ain't.

When a roll of duct tape doubles as:

A doorstop

A patch in the wall above your new DT doorstop.

A beer can holder on the dash panel (what is left of the dash I should say)

When you can hit a road sign down I-285 with a beer bottle, going 75 mph, FROM THE MIDDLE LANE

When your girlfriends name is painted on the overpass, or better yet, the rusty water tower.  

If your front porch falls down, and more than 5 dogs die.  

If you think the nutcracker is something you done off the high dive.  

If you have ever misspelled something in Christmas lights.

If you have ever financed a tatoo.  (6 more payments and this bad boy is MINE!)

If your snowman or scarecrow has a beergut.

If you have ever taken Ole Besse (trusty 12 guage that hangs over the door for yall city folk) to a funeral for the "releasing of the doves"

I am tired of typing.  Actually, some (most) are from around the house.

I cannot even spell some of the words I use.  The single syllable shortening "all right" is unspellable.  The  2 syllable shortening of "do you want some"  I mean, what letter does that start with?

[michbass]

;D ;D Lol, those people from the south  :   Just kidding, love the south.

[Murray]

I have a fridge outside where we keep meat and beer.

[bassboy1]

I have a fridge outside where we keep meat and beer.

Just one?  We have two fridge/freezer combos and two freezers by themselves in the garage.  One freezer holds just frozen beef, chicken, venison, turkey.  Just about any meat.  A fridge holds just beer, gallon jars of pickles and leftover pizza that usually gets forgotten about.  No telling whats in the other fridge and freezer.   :o