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Men Are Just Happier People--  

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your

last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding

plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just

another snack.  You can be President. You can never be

pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park

You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics

tell you the truth.  

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to

another gas station restroom because this one is just

too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which

way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress~$5000. Tux

rental~$100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking

to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is

practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister,

or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone

conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know

stuff about tanks.

   

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You

can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for

the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone

forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your

friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost

never have strap problems in public. You are unable to

see wrinkles in your clothes.      

Everything on your face stays its original color. The

same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You

only have to shave your face and neck.  You can play

with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your

big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color

for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how

your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket

knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a

mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25

relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

Got this from a female friend, she thought it was funny, I thought it was true...

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