Am I the only one?

[Guest avid]

I don't particularly like the holidays.  Starting with Thanksgiving, then Christmas, and New Years.  It is a time for family, sharing, love, joy, and happiness.

Since my divorce it has been nothing but painful.  My son lives up North near my ex.  My daughter is in Florida. Both of my children are married or engaged, so there are two families involved with each. plus my ex amd me that makes 4.

My mom is also in NY.

Yes, I am married to lovely intellegent woman.  She is Jewish.  She's not religeous, but is very connected culturally.  oddly enough it is easier for me to go to a Sader (passover) with her freinds, than Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner where my whole '"family" is not there due to conflicting demands.

I find the whole thing very confusing, complicated, and downright depressing.

Aren't y'all just jumping with joy about this post.  :-/

Don't let me bring you down.

Enjoy, love, share, be happy.  

BassResource.com and all of you are part of my extended family.

thank you for being here.

Sincerly,

avid

[Guest the_muddy_man]

Hey Avid Im feeling you I give on thanks giving to peolpe who need to recieve. It keeps me grateful for thr years of homelessness. I dont get along with but a handfull of relatives so the family thing is shot. I see my daughter on the hoilidays and thats always special

Christmas ANOTHER STORY MY FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!!!! A while ago A fella showed me some things that changed Christmas int once again a joyful day He pointed out that the Crhistmas story was a story of the homeless. That the son of God could have come into earth on a limo instead he was born in a barn. He pointed out that we all know Jesus's parents names, the Magi we all know the story but DO WE KNOW THE NAME OF THE GUY THAT GAVE THEM SHELTER IN THE FIRST PLACE? I dont, so you see Christmas is all about the birth of Jesus and an act of humble and anonymus charity NOT BALCK FRIDAY,NOT THE MALL So on ChristmaS I make a lot of Italian Seafood dishes to feed those closest to me and a give a few thoughtful but hmble gifts and I try to reach out to at least one needy person So when I look at it that way Its Cool OH AND I WATCH ITS A WONDERFUL LIFE so many times that all around me wanna puike ITs my favorite movie my.02 and then some

[KU_Bassmaster.]

I feel for ya avid.  Your situation warrants the way you feel.

I personally love Thanksgiving to New Years for the same reason you don't like it.  My family is real close, but we don't seem to ALL get together all that often.  Thanksgiving and Christmas is the time for that so I always look forward to it.  That IS what the holidays are to me ..... Family time.  I realize that my grandparents aren't getting any younger and my time with them is becoming limited, so each moment spent with them is chersihed.  Who know's what will happen tomorrow???

Now New Years ..... that's a whole different story.  That's family time for the day, and then it's friend time for the night.  Plus my birthday is on New Years Eve, so that's always fun.

[Guest avid]

humble and anonymus charity

Dominic, you are so freakin' wise.

Here I am feeling sorry for myself because I'm not GETTING.

When clearly the essence of Christmas is GIVING.

I'm going to find a church or local charity that needs a vounteer.  i'm going to re-discover the joy of Chritmas, not just by tossing some change into the Salvation Army bucket, but by giving of myself to those who clearly are not blessed with the material comforts I take for granted.

Thank you my friend.

God bless you and all the caring people who make this world a better place.

Your grateful friend

avid

[Glenn]

It doesn't get any better than that.  

[senko_77]

I feel for ya avid.  Holidays without my dad here just aren't the same as they were.  Keep your head up.  What the mudster said was awesome and right on.

[Bream Master]

This is my first Thanksgiving without my family.  I had to work and I'm off in school.  Sucks man.  Oh well, it's nothing a six pack can't take care of.

[Guest the_muddy_man]

Avid I have begun to know you through our PM and phone coverstions and you are a gentleman through and through I aint so smart now the guy who taught me that well remind me to tell you about him If we all ran on what I know we would be goin to the joint instead of the Fork in the spring :o

[K_Mac]

It doesn't get any better than that.

If I had any sense I would simply amen that statement, but ... :

muddy as i first read your post and then avid's response, I was reminded of Jesus' words when He said (I'll paraphrase) we can speak with beauty and eloquence, have all knowledge and wisdom, have a faith that will move moutains, and give everything we have away, but if we don't have love it means nothing. It is when we step outside ourselves and put our focus on others that we are most like Him. Thank you both for that reminder.

Kirby

[RiskKid.]

Hey Avid my situation is somewhat similar to yours after divorce. My two sons live close though so I get to see them for lunch both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Not sure how much lomger that will last as they both have really great girlfriends and it looks pretty serious. After that its usually to girlfriends house. I don't particularly like the holidays either for alot of reasons. But I figure its only 2 out of 365 days.

Muddy has his heart in the right place.........a better world it would be if more of us would do what he does.

[Grey Wolf]

You all have the wisdom of King Solomon . Bless you all. What great advice.

[fishbear]

The holidays USED to be my favorite time to relax, and enjoy family.  Now, I have literally given up trying to enjoy the holidays.  It has become more of a you didnt get what you wanted, did that person really serve that? Man, those relatives were jsut rude, well, I bought everyone what they wanted, now we can not pay the bills time of year.  Even the churches put pressure on you for more money.

I would rather just have the time off to go fishing,,,,,  at least that way the days could be enjoyed.

just my .02 worth.

Depressing HUH?

[Top]

holidays aren't my favorite time of year either but I put on a happy face for the kids...

when your dad leaves your mom on new years eve it has a tendancy to take away from the joyousness of the holidays  :-?

oh well it was a long time ago... but even now I have to mentally get myself out of a funk every year and tell myself I have my kids to think of now,  not what happened so many years ago

AL

[paparock]

Happy Holidays Avid and everybody. I understand where you were Avid. Most off my close family are all dead now and I am estranged from my two daughters. The estrangement was by their choice aided by my ex-wife. Sometimes Holidays are very hard with families so scattered and shattered theses days; health and wealth issues weigh more at these times it seems. Now people do not take this bad but I am ready to depart this place. That does not mean something bad actually it means something good to me. I am not in a rush now mind you but I am no clinging vine either. In fact, I rather look forward to passing through that doorway to a new beginning as that is how I look at it. I want to give to everyone I come in contact while I am here something they can remember and if nothing else maybe it is just that this place is as wonderful as we make it but it is not the end. For me this place is like my grandfather's pond where I learned to fish with a cane pole and a cork. It was great fun and full of wonder but it was not the end of fishing for me but the beginning. So too is my time here on Earth. I have learned much that I plan to use as I pass on into that place my creator that came here to make it possible for all of us and left to prepare a place for us, I can hardly wait after all Jesus was a Fisherman!

;)Look what he could do with three fishes.

[Guest avid]

Papa,

I'm speechless.

Something needs to be said here, but I don't what it is

Help someone.  please.

avid.

[paparock]

Avid, thank you so much for your concern but it is all OK. My disease and all the surrounding complications are progressing and are not going to allow me a long life. That is all I was saying, that I am ready, and in fact looking forward to it. There are sadnesses that we all go through. Some we can change and some others must allow us to change. Some here know I have seen death since the 70s take friends all around me and yet spare me. If he now comes for me, I see it as something not to fear but a part of life here where we are. Only God knows my day's number. It is a time of Thanksgiving now for no matter how little or how much we have it is all a gift from God for which we should be thankful. I am thankful I have lived to see and learn so much along life's path while meeting so many great people as those here on our forum. As my time grows shorter upon this Earth I have my eyes more upon the prize and do not covet the material things as I did in my youth but upon the riches of the place prepared for me by my friend and companion that took all my fears away. So, forgive me if I seemed distant in my last post as I was just looking forward perhaps a little to far. Peace to all, joy, and happiness during this season and protection to all our young men and women serving far from home.

Paparock

[K_Mac]

Paparock

We Christians know this temporal life is only the beginning. In Philippians 1, Paul makes it clear that as his life moved toward the end he was looking forward to being with Christ. As I get older and struggle with health issues of my own, I understand that better. Paul also knew that he still had work to do here; so do I, and so do you. Even in the tough times my brother, God uses us to accomplish His purpose. Pm me and we'll talk. God bless you my friend.

[Guest avid]

I have no idea why I'm posting this at this time in this place, but religeous references are often made here at BassResource.com. That is a good thing. But the posts are dominated by Christian ideology. No problem their either but people who hold different beliefs need to know that even though this is a fishing site, a reference to your spirituality from time to time is clearly acceptable.

My spritual belief is ecclectic but largely influenced by Eastern thought.

Specifically I believe that each of us has an individual soul, but we are all part of the "collective soul" that connects all sentient beings.

It is our mission to evolve. We are here to move forward. We are here to attain perfection.

It may take a thousand lifetimes to achieve this so reincarnation is essential to my belief system.

As we evolve as individual souls, we are best serving God's will by attempting to elevate the "oneness" of all creation. We cannot do this by petitioning the Lord, we advance in our mission by selfless giving, random acts of kindness, and seeking to create peace in our heats and minds while attempting to project this spritual peace to those around us.

Read these words from a 2001 Interview with Rick Clunn after winning the megabucks tournament.

Now that Clunn has won nearly every major title in competitive bass fishing, what's left for him to accomplish?

For Clunn, the eternal dream of bass fishing is not about filling his shelves with trophies; his bass fishing dream is fueled by the quest to, "touch perfection."

"Certainly winning is a part of the fishing dream," Clunn says. "But it's not the whole dream. Winning and touching perfection are two different things."

Clunn defines touching perfection as a period during the fishing day when the universe becomes timeless and he is fishing every moment with such absolute perfection that doubt, judgment and expectation no longer exist.

"Everything becomes effortless because all negativity ceases to exists," he explains. "All negative things are purged and transformed into positive things. The wind becomes a positive because it pushes you to the next fish. Getting hung up becomes a positive because it leads you to a different casting angle that produces a fish. Your mind, body and soul become one and everything works in harmony - it's truly a special place."

Please be advised that I have never met Mr. Clunn. He is not my spiritual advisor, nor I his. But his words are eloquent and express some of what I was trying to say.

I hope my beliefs are not viewed as a challenge to anyone elses'. They are not. This is why America exists. Freedom of belief is one of the foundations of our Republic.

As Charles Dickens said. "God Bless us. Everyone"

Avid has spoken

[K_Mac]

I hope my beliefs are not viewed as a challenge to anyone elses'. They are not. This is why America exists. Freedom of belief is one of the foundations of our Republic.

As Charles Dickens said. "God Bless us. Everyone"

Avid has spoken

Avid while our religious views are very different, we are united on this. 8-)

[paparock]

I at times wander a field into my beliefs, which are quite different from most if not all here. Sometimes I state things from my view without thinking how others may view them since my views have changed, grown, modified, so much over my years. I do not take myself all that seriously as to think I have all the answers or know everything. It is all I can do to just stumble along the path too often like a blind man seeking my way and while I welcome company each of us must find their own way in this life for all our needs are different. Forgive me if I troubled anyone because that was not my intention. I will continue on this path until my days that are set run thier course. I for many reasons have started looking forward more as the material attachments that so often bind us here fall away. My sister lay dying of cancer at age 45 in her hospital bed and her final words too me were " I'll see Dad before you do." She died that night. She was not sad, or feeling sorry for herself but kidding me as I know she knew she was going that night but in her way she was giving me a gift of her lighthearted self that she would be waiting for me.  I Miss Her Spirit because she made me laugh because I was always the serious one and she the Sprite. Such memories are a comfort, a sorrow, and a shadow of things to come as my body ages and I grow closer to the end of my days. It is often upon such as these Holidays I let my spirit wander back through Holidays past. To laugh and cry at all the family joy we had and now that I am the last I can often seen them all watching from on high my struggles to live life. But like a runner in his last long race I will complete it no matter my slow pace for waiting for me at the end are all those I Love and that cheer me on to come and rest in my on prepared place.

Rocky

[Guest the_muddy_man]

Hey Rocky hang in there. itraveled the road of illness with both parents and a couple of buddies. If you wanna talk PM me I aint no expert just an ear.

[Fisher of Men]

Paparock,

Your words have encouraged me tonight.  God bless you for using His courage and strength to accept His will in your life. . . good or bad.  I am thankful for you and the many others here at BR.  You are a living testimony for our King.  I wish you all the best this Christmas and will hold you in my prayers.

God's Will Be Done,

Fisher

Avid,

God has a purpose for you, too.  Apparently, you are already finding that out as you desire to serve the needs of others.  I will offer prayers of encouragement your way, too.  God bless!!

[nboucher]

Paparock, you are a wise and eloquent man, and I wish you all the peace a man can have, no matter what lies ahead. My own parents are close to 90 now, and as they face their final years they are a study in contrasts. My mother is angry about the approaching end, but my father will die as he has lived: showing me how to conduct myself with dignity and grace. Not onceand this is incrediblehave I heard him say an unkind thing about another. When I was a boy growing up in New Hampshire, I couldn't understand why he never took me hunting and fishing when so many of of my friends' dads were taking them. When I asked him, he looked me in the eye and softly answered: "I couldn't hurt an animal like that." (At the same timeand this is another measure of his strengthhe never uttered a peep of criticism to me for doing those very things, and took joy to see the fish I caught.) Now he cares for my mother, whose mind is fading, and responds to her anger with love and humor. I am far more educated than he is, but my heart will never be as good or as pure. He is, Avid, a true bodhisattva. Where does one learn that?

My wife teases me that she is always prepared for my post-Thanksgiving blues. I love Thanksgiving for the family and the holiday's simplicity, but inevitably as Christmas approaches and the year ends, I slip into a funk, no matter how hard I try to resist it. Some of it is the passing of time, another year gone that I didn't use to its fullest, and a lot of it is the consumerism and waste that has spoiled Christmas. All religions condemn those two things, yet, despite our claim to being a Christian society, they become the true idols this time of year. For that reason, our hypocrisy is also in the forefront this time of year, reminding me that as a society we worship nothing as much as the almighty dollar.

Like Avid, I don't mean to bring everyone down. I treasure my the time spent as a family this time of year. But it's hard for me.

[paparock]

All anyone can do is carry their candle as best they can and in such a way it may light the way for another. One can never find joy or peace until they take their eyes off self and see the needs of others. If only the reflection so many feel this time of year could last all year round the world would be a better place for it. I come from a long line of fighters that tend to rebel at constrant and so it is not easy at times to hold still, hold my peace and just let God. For everyone there is a plan and a way. It is but for us to find it and often it comes as for me when I stop striving and listen with my eyes open and my spirit at rest.

To everyone Happy Holidays and may this coming year be the best of your life!

[BD]

We can pray for others and each other, to live as best we can. Short of this, we are alive so we should enjoy it while we are............like by going fishing  8-)