Seriously

[BigAngus752]

On 8/8/2024 at 8:25 AM, Darrell Shep said:

Does your wife express concern about your spending habits and "feelings" about fishing gear?

Nope.  The opposite.  She knows my passion (near obsession) with bass fishing and she promotes it.  In 2016 she convinced me to buy a newer, larger, nicer boat than I intended and she is currently encouraging me to move up to an even nicer new boat.  I'm definintely not out of control with my spending because I'm just not a "gear guy".  My gear serves a purpose and it's all just tools but I do buy stuff beyond true "need" and she doesn't flinch.  She wants me to be happy and I want her to be happy.  We work toward those goals FIRST.  Everything and everyone else comes second (except for the offspring but they are grown and out now).  

[J Francho]

My two other past time endeavors are drums and skateboarding. While the latter is pretty inexpensive, drum purchases merit serious discussion and consideration, as do her guitar purchases. Even maintenance items like heads and sticks get a line item in the budget. As long as we talk about it, we figure out how to make it happen. Fishing gear or a new deck is a drop in the bucket when compared to a new Taylor guitar or Black Beauty snare drum. I'd say that anything around $200-$250 triggers a discussion. 

[crypt]

it is a mutual respect thing for sure. my wife will tell me sometimes to get out and fish when I've been burning the candle at both ends for my sanity. I really know it's for hers also.

[ironbjorn]

Mine doesn't hate it. I pity the men who are dominated by their women to the point of hiding things. That's...very unnatural.

[Texas Flood]

Our house looks like the amazon rainforest with all her plants. She's stays in her lane and I do the same.

[whitwolf]

Interesting topic, like @A-Jay and @Mike L, and their spouses, Tresa and I  communicate openly and honestly. There are very few times we inquire about a purchase. There's a trust level that we know won't be compromised.  

We both grew up poor but had what we needed. We both put off upper end purchases to make sure our respective children had everything they needed to be successful.  At the time of our marriage (second for both) we made  very consistent decisions with regards to our blended family. Kids first. 

 

Fast forward to now. We buy as we like and discuss anything over $500.00. Our accounts are combined and credit cards are paid off monthly. We know what's spent. She loves jewelry and I love fishing. We actually spend more on grandchildren than we probably should but to me it's all good.

 

All the children know that we are going to enjoy our life now that they are grown and on their own. 

 

 

 

[newriverfisherman1953]

On 8/8/2024 at 10:40 AM, Catt said:

As for spending, Carolann's hobbies are, jewelry, purses, & ink pens.

 

Y'all would be amazed at how much one ink pen can cost!

I wouldn’t be surprised. My other hobby is turning pens!!

[T-Billy]

On 8/8/2024 at 10:11 AM, DaubsNU1 said:

We have separate accounts and split bills accordingly. Have been doing it this way for 14 years and it serves us well

That's how we roll as also. Serves us well too. We have a joint savings where we keep a balance for major unexpected expenses, but aside from that, we each handle our share of the bills, and we each buy what we want without having to consult the other. We never fight about money.

[Pat Brown]

Thankfully the wife is a fan of the outdoors.  We camp and fish and hike and swim and she enjoys being there and often participates and has her own great success doing things her way.

 

I am grateful my wife is also my best friend.

 

 

[Goldstar225]

No problem in our household.  I won't sneak, that's gutless.  Big purchases get discussed.  My wife will go out in the boat with me to relax.  A couple of years ago I was contemplated getting an Ultrex, agonizing over the expense.  My wife knew it.  A few days later one showed up in the garage.  Without telling me she ordered it for me.  How could I refuse?

[Bankbeater]

No concerns at our house.  The bait monkey doesn't visit here too often, and my wife and I both realize that there are a lot worse things to be spending money on.

[LionHeart]

If I felt like I had to hide things from my wife, we truly have much bigger problems than how she feels about fishing.

 

As the soul bread winner of our house, I make every dollar that my family has, but none of it is mine.  It belongs to my family.  That is quite a responsibility, and I do not take it lightly.  

 

On rare occasion I will buy something for myself, or my wife, or even rarer still I'll just give my wife a bunch of cash and tell her to spend it any way she wishes (usually on our 2 girls).

 

I don't believe my wife dislikes that I have a hobby that I enjoy. I always keep my love for bass fishing in the right box.  Very rarely will I go fishing when there is something I can, or need to do with the family.  This isn't imposed upon me by my wife, I impose it on myself (reluctantly sometimes).

 

I'm not saying this is the only right way, but I intentionally don't do things that would make my wife, or girls feel like they have to compete for me.   As long as everyone involved has healthy expectations,  it works pretty well for us. 

[Trox]

My first wife, yes, she was very resentful towards my fishing hobby (I normally only fished once per week, nothing crazy) which is one reason why she is now called my "first" wife.

My current wife encourages my fishing habit, sometimes fishes bass tournaments with me, is addicted to crappie fishing, and all but begs to go fishing with me every chance she can. It's kind of "our thing" and I think I'm going to keep this one!

 

Of course, I'm not saying that anyone should choose fishing over their wife - but when there is a large amount of resentfulness and negativity towards something that plays such a major role in our lives, and for most, brings us a form of peace, it has a tendency to stem from, and/or cause other issues. Especially when that thing isn't affecting any other obligations or commitments elsewhere

[MediumMouthBass]

Ive heard the stories, many.... many times....

And not just for fishing, in all things in life.

Unless you are living paycheck to paycheck if you have a wife thats anything even somewhat like a control freak, that gets mad about fishing purchases (other than a $50k boat, cuz thats understandable) then you dont have a wife, you have a boss.

 

And this is the reason why ill either never get married, or ill do it 5 times.

 

Remember guys, marriage is supposed to be a 50/50 partnership, and also a friendship. If its neither, than the marriage wont last. And if anything other, it will just eat away at your soul.

[king fisher]

Your wife not wanting you to go fishing may be a good thing.  If the mail man has a big smile on his face when he brings you a new rod and reel that your wife bought you and your wife instantly recommends you go fishing for the weekend to try out your new fishing gear, you may have a problem.

[Glenn]

I 86's two girlfriends because they didn't like me fishing. One of them tried very hard to get me to quit Bassresource.  I showed her the door.

 

After that, I had a canned speech I gave girls I dated that went something like this:

 

Quote

l fish a lot.  No, really, a LOT!  Way more than you're thinking right now.  It's what I do; it's what I love to do; it's who I am.  Now...you don't have to like it to be with me. In fact, feel free to hate it all you want.  But what you CAN'T do, is tell me I can't do it.  That will never fly with me.  You need to know upfront I spend a lot of time on the water, and that won't change.

 

I weeded out several women before I met my wife, who said, "So when are you taking me fishing?" and she meant it!  She also encouraged me to grow Bassresource and follow my vision.

 

As many of you know, she went on to fish at the professional level in several women's tournament circuits.  And if you watch any of our videos, you know she has a wicked hookset!

 

The moral?  You can find the right partner IF you're true to yourself, and then honest with them upfront.  You're not being mean. You're making a life decision that requires that level of rigor.

 

The problem?  Combine a woman's love of shopping with her passion for fishing, and ironically it's ME telling her to ease up on the spending! LOL

[Columbia Craw]

I have absolutely no problem telling my wife just how things are going to be….. when she let’s me.

[Cgolf]

No I have some sort of budget for fishing stuff each year and have enough gear to keep me fishing for a while. I am sure in 27 years of marriage, we probably came to a balance without even realizing it. Now the hot wheels I still buy once in a while, mostly to get cars I never could afford for real, she is getting annoyed with. Sometimes it’s fun to be a 50 year old kid;)

[geo g]

After 50 years of marriage the wife could care less if I go fishing.  She knows I would be going whether she likes it or not.  Every trip she asks me how many I got, and if I have any Kodak Moment Pics.  She does track where I am at any moment, especially while on the water in the boat. 

As for spending money, she knows I spend far less money on fishing, then she does on hair, nails, make up, shoes, handbags, massages, and new clothing.   Its a no brainer!

[Swamp Girl]

My spouse gave me the green light to purchase five acres of waterfront, not because we're flush with cash, but because of what it means to me and there isn't a day I'm not grateful. I was born in a trailer and raised three to a bed. Waterfront was beyond my imagining for nearly all my life.