I am not fishing enough... Or am I?

[Dwight Hottle]

My solution to your problem might work if you have enough flexibility to pull off a fishing vacation or trip where you and some friends can get away & fish as long as you want. Staying in a fish camp where the only distraction is fishing might satisfy your desires. Or maybe hire a guide for an 8 hour day or dawn to dusk trip. Just you & him.

[Trox]

1 hour ago, Vince said:

- THE SOLUTION -

 

As several users posted, fishing for 12 hours alone is not at all unreasonable. And it is important to take time for yourself, no matter who you are. I've talked to my girlfriend and kids about this, and they understand that I'm very passionate about fishing, so I get a solid 12 hour fishing day every month to myself. I still will go with my kids, girlfriend, and buddies on separate trips. I'll fish about a dozen times a month, but one of those is all mine. It's a happy, healthy way to figure it out, my problem was that I was too scared that people would feel like I didn't want them around, or that I was being selfish. Turns out, my loved ones are more than understanding, and actually wanted me to have a long trip every weekend, but I dialed it down to once a month because that's what felt right. 

 

Sorry this was so lengthy, and thanks for sticking through it. 

I appreciate all the feedback, great advice all around, especially from the old guys. You all helped me get through this. I'll update after a few months, let you know how it goes. 👍🎣

 

Well, sounds like you got it. It's very easy to get caught up in "people pleasing" the ones you love and forget that they would just as much love to "people please" you just the same! It can be hard to imagine at times that others care about you the way that you care about them, but give them the room they need to do so and they will most likely surprise you! 

It's great to hear about the solution y'all came to - Sounds like you have a good group of people around you. 

[Bankc]

Here's your problem:  You're trying to do too much and not doing enough.  That's obvious.  

The solution is a little less obvious.  What you're doing wrong is combining things, trying to make them more efficient.  And you're actually losing productivity that way and making everything less efficient.  Instead of fishing more, you actually need to fish less.  

 

Here's what I mean.  Right now, you're fishing with your friends, kids, and girlfriend.  That's okay on the occasion that they actually want to go.  It's nice to share a part of your life with them on occassion.  But instead of doing what YOU enjoy with them as a means of spending quality time with them, focus your time doing what THEY enjoy with them to get that quality time.  Don't spend time with your girlfriend fishing, unless she really, really wants to go fishing.  Instead, maximize the quality of the time spent with her by doing what SHE wants.  Same with the kids and all family and friends.  Focus on THEIR needs and wants, not your own.  Make the time you spend with THEM, about THEM.  

 

Then let everyone know when you go fishing, that you're going to be taking it seriously.  It's not fun for you if you're having to focus your attention on other people.  So, no talking or joking around.  No helping out other people with their rigs.  No going home early if the fish aren't biting.  No fun unless they're idea of fun is grinding it out in silence.  Let them know up front that this isn't about spending time with them, it's about serious fishing.  If they want to talk, socialize, have fun, bond, etc., then set up a separate time for that.  Do one thing at a time.  

 

Do this, and you won't have nearly as much time to go fishing.  You probably won't even be able to fish once a week.  That's a lot to ask if you have a significant other, kids, a full-time job, and a house full of chores, etc.  But, when you do have the time to actually go fishing, you can ACTUALLY GO FISHING.  You'll enjoy it that much more, because you'll actually be DOING what you enjoy, instead of just technically going through the motions of something adjacent to what you enjoy.  And your family and friends will enjoy spending time with you more, because when you do spend time with them, you'll be actually spending time with them, as opposed to just spending time around them.  And you'll enjoy that more too.  

 

TLDR: Live deliberately. 

[LrgmouthShad]

3 hours ago, Trox said:

 

Well, sounds like you got it. It's very easy to get caught up in "people pleasing" the ones you love and forget that they would just as much love to "people please" you just the same! It can be hard to imagine at times that others care about you the way that you care about them, but give them the room they need to do so and they will most likely surprise you! 

It's great to hear about the solution y'all came to - Sounds like you have a good group of people around you. 

I didn’t know you still exist

Hey, why can’t I catch a bass at Somerville?

Message me please to avoid hijacking this thread.

[Koz]

One day your kids won’t want to fish with you anymore and that will be a kick in the pants.

 

You will also find there are many times when the thought of fishing is more satisfying than actually fishing. Sometimes we romanticize fishing.

 

Carve out a few hours to fish by yourself, but cherish the times you fish with others.

[Catt]

When you got more years behind ya than ahead you think about life deferently.

 

The biggest deference today is my fishing partners are sons & grandsons. With age comes limitations, fishing by myself is extremely limited. 

 

I think you mentioned owning your own business. Ever consider working 4 tens? 3 day weekends.

[scaleface]

I'm lucky. My wife and son dont like to fish. As far as friends go, I dont take them .  Bass fishing is my time. Too many times  I hear the words  "I have to be back by..."

[Swamp Girl]

On 5/7/2024 at 12:09 PM, Vince said:

As several users posted, fishing for 12 hours alone is not at all unreasonable.

 

Not unreasonable, but impressive. I couldn't do it. It takes stamina that's long left me.

 

I'm glad you've worked out a solution and look forward to your update.

[Gera]

On 5/7/2024 at 12:09 PM, Vince said:

As several users posted, fishing for 12 hours alone is not at all unreasonable

Asking in this forum if 12 hours of fishing is reasonable is as reasonable as asking an alcoholic if 6 pack per night is reasonable. 

 

I'm not saying that its wrong, but I guess the answer to your questions should not come from a bunch of unknown people but for the people that will actually miss you over that straight 12 hour period. 

 

I actually completely despise just the idea of waking up early morning for ANY activity. But I do it to take less time away from my kids. My dad was workaholic, great person and gave my all I ever needed and more, but he was still absent. In his mind it was reasonable because he was doing it for us.. but i still missed him. 

[whitwolf]

@Vince I think with the limited knowledge people had of your situation they were and are giving sound advice nonetheless. It appears you have found your solution!

 

ill simply add this as a piggy back to a small part of what @A-Jay said: " 

Things seem to work out best for the men who can make the best

out of the way things turn out."

 

I had my retired life planned to a T.  My wife and I were going to move from Western NC to the swamps of Eastern NC. We had planned on taking her mama.

 

3 years from that realization I had a stroke.  I'm very fortunate in that it wasn't debilitating.  I worked hard just to walk with a cane. We were still contemplating moving when her mother was diagnosed with early onset dementia.  Our plans are now up in the air. I don't care. Family is important.  

 

If we end up staying up here I'm good with that. It's life. The point? Sometimes life happens and with our approach that family comes first it's an easy decision. I still get to fish and sitting with my mother-in-law a day a week while she's still doing OK is a blessing.