I am not fishing enough... Or am I?

[Vince]

I fish, but it's not enough for myself to be satisfied. I love bass fishing, like everyone here. I love every aspect of it, I listen to podcasts about it, I watch tournaments like normal people watch the super bowl, I would fish in my sleep if I could. However, I find that I can't get to some ME time.

 

I fish with my girlfriend, which is nice, but always having to give her attention takes away from my fishing. I fish with my kids, but most of that is teaching, pulling out backlashes, and I can't go for as long as I'd like, which takes away from my fishing. I go fishing with buddies, but they quit on me and we have to go home early, which takes away from my fishing. But all of these count as fishing trips, but I still feel like I haven't fished. I want to show up before the sun comes up, get to a good spot and start breaking down the body of water. I want to fish from sun up, till sun down. I have had at least a dozen fishing trips over the last month, but feel like I haven't really gotten to fish the way I'd like because they last five hours at the most.

 

I can't talk about it, because I fish more than the average person in my life, so they think I go all the time. But two to three days during the week with only an hour or two to fish... And one day on the weekend with less than 5 hours to fish makes me feel like I'm only snacking and never having a full meal. Is a 12 hour day on the water too much to ask? Am I being dramatic? I wish I could fish right now, but i already went for 4 hours on Saturday, so I'm guilted into thinking it'd be selfish. 

 

Sorry for the venting, but I've been struggling with this all year. Haven't fished in six years, finally get back into it, it's been a month and I feel like I haven't scratched the itch. I only have 2 rods, and only enough tackle to fit in a fanny pack. I don't have a kayak, I don't have a boat, so I understand bank fishing for that long is basically hiking a marathon. I'm not asking anyone to come with me. But every time I go out, kids, buddies, or girlfriend wants to come, and I can't be mean. So I go with people who will quit and end my fishing early. Will I ever be able to fish and feel satisfied, or should I just give it up again because I'm obsessed? Is a 12 hour day on the water, twice month too much to ask for?

[gim]

12 hours is a long time to fish without a break.  I don't think I've ever fished that long in my life.  Even 8 hours is a long outing for me.  I normally go 3-5 hours at a time about twice a week.

 

It can be tough if you have a spouse/wife and kids, plus a full time job.  Families are time consumers.  So are houses.  My suggestion given your current situation is to enjoy the time you are able to fish given the restrictions.

 

Its either that or ditch the family, fish more and be a free man lol

[LrgmouthShad]

Be comfortable setting boundaries and telling people no. One idea is to set aside a day in the week where it is ‘me time’ where you can enjoy your long fishing trip. Make sure those who fish with you understand that that is your day to fish alone. They’ll understand. There are other days to fish with them

[FishTax]

Ricky Stanicky seems like the solution... 

[Zcoker]

Take up night fishing. Everyone is asleep. You'll have ALL the time in the world for your me time. You'll also catch the biggest bass on the lake! 

[MediumMouthBass]

Easy solution, tell the family someone released their pet alligator into the lake.

 

Youll be the only one fishing there for awhile.

 

And theres no such thing as fishing enough, dont let anyone tell you otherwise. 12-24 hours a day is perfectly normal, contact a doctor if you fish for 72 hours or more. Then it might be a problem.

[Functional]

Agreed with @LrgmouthShad and set the boundry. Set aside a day or so if you need it. 

 

Back when I bank fished I'd pack a small lunch and would go out all day. Id say 70% was fishing but the other 30% was just breaks and hanging out in nature and enjoying all the things going on around me. Almost as peaceful as sitting in the middle of the woods during snow fall just listening. 

[TLHSS]

An old man answer, so it probably won’t be what you want to hear ….

 

It sounds like you want fishing to be the priority in your life. It shouldn’t be. You’re a dad.  Your kids won’t be young forever. Spend as much time as you can with them. Having people who enjoy being with you (a girlfriend and fishing buddies) leads to a much healthier life than being alone fishing.

 

Be very careful what you ask for.

 

Sorry for the old man viewpoint. Fishing will always be there. Kids, friends and family may not. Love them while you can. 

[Susky River Rat]

When I worked second shift I used to  musky fish 40 hours a week. I barely slept. Some days I’d fish 12 hours. 
 

Now that I bass fish I am completely happy with 3-5 hour trips. I get on them or I don’t. Fishing became a job to me when I was putting in that time. It wasn’t fun it’s just “what I did and who I am”. 
 

I do love fishing. I need it as my therapy. Don’t let it over run your life or you will end up unhappy with it. 

[crypt]

we all would like to fish more but some things are beyond our control, ie family, work,responsibilities that we have to do that cut into our time on or near the water. A wise man told me years ago to never take  time for yourself for granted, enjoy it when you can go, but remember the people in your life that are important, cause some day they may not be there.  

[LrgmouthShad]

1 hour ago, TLHSS said:

An old man answer, so it probably won’t be what you want to hear ….

 

It sounds like you want fishing to be the priority in your life. It shouldn’t be. You’re a dad.  Your kids won’t be young forever. Spend as much time as you can with them. Having people who enjoy being with you (a girlfriend and fishing buddies) leads to a much healthier life than being alone fishing.

 

Be very careful what you ask for.

 

Sorry for the old man viewpoint. Fishing will always be there. Kids, friends and family may not. Love them while you can. 

If he is at home with family and can’t help but think about how nice it would be to have a fishing trip to himself, how present is he? From reading his post, I got the impression that he at least had some time to spare.

One of the largest issues I notice with my peers and even those older than me is that people have issues caring for themself or even clearly articulating what it is they want for themself. Rather, they are guided into a path in life that others choose for them. Sometimes it’s even difficult to realize this is happening. 
 

Family is maybe the most important thing in this life. And friends do make experiences better. Just don’t forget about yourself along the way. 
 

P.S. I respect your opinion because you are much older than I, and everyone else here should listen to your words the same. 

 

[king fisher]

Be careful what you wish for.  Anyone can fish alone, you are blessed if family and friends want to fish with you.

[Pat Brown]

I'd rather get skunked on the water with my son than catch a 10 lber on the water by myself.  There's going to come a day when I'm alone in the boat and it's going to come sooner then I'd like.

[gim]

My Grandfather told me this before he died of cancer in 2012: quality of life is measured by the amount of time you have to do what you enjoy doing.

 

Good luck

[GreenPig]

Friends and buddies can drive themselves and meet you at the lake/pond. They can leave when they get ready, allowing you to keep on fishing. I wouldn't go that route with my wives, girlfriend, or children. 

[new2BC4bass]

Welcome to the forum, Vince.  I don't think a couple 12 hour days per month is too much to ask.  Unfortunately it sounds like you don't have a like minded individual to do that with.  How costly is it to fly from FL to AZ?  Kidding. 

 

When I used to fly from PA to FL for my yearly vacations, my B-I-L and I often tried to be on the water around 6 a.m. and fished until 9 p.m. or so with a break to go buy lunch.  He peed in a jg.  I held it. 

 

Oops.  Got slightly off track.

 

Right now I wished I was in your situation.  Before my last back episode, I would steady the Gheeny while he got in.  Now that both of us have poor balance, he doesn't feel safe fishing in his boat with me.  Fishing alone from shore over a short stretch that gets fished by bait fishermen doesn't make me want to stay out very long.

 

Spent money from 2009 to 2022 stocking up on gear for my retirement.  Now it sets unused.  My daughter would move down here tomorrow if she could find a job.  Then I could occasionally fish with her and my youngest grandson.  I'd be pleased if it was only for a couple hours.

[Swamp Girl]

Lots of wisdom in this thread.

[Catt]

I used to be selfish & self centered, fishing 150-200+ days a year. I've fished tournaments with some of the best anglers ever to pick up a rod. I've caught 35 double digit bass across 5 states. 

 

Thirty something years ago I realized all of that fails in comparison to spending with family & friends. I changed my priorities to God, family, & friends my enjoyment of life changed.

[Mobasser]

I always tried to prioritize it like this. 1: family, work, fishing. Family is first always. If I can't go fishing because of family or work, so what?  I'll go fishing another day.

[A-Jay]

Hello @Vince and Welcome to Bass Resource ~

My version of this is:

My 'fishing is a hobby', one I take seriously (like anything I chose to put my valuable time into),

but still just a hobby.  The Best & Worst 'fishing experiences' I've ever had,

all revolve around 'balance'.

I'm taking about balance in my personal life; which I can assure you is one heck of an eternal roller coaster ride.  However, when I can put the same time & effort into 'balancing' out my home & personal life, best I honestly can, that I am willing to put into my fishing hobby,

it's almost always better in the long run.

Things seem to work out best for the men who can make the best

out of the way things turn out.

Good Luck

A-Jay

[gim]

1 hour ago, Mobasser said:

I always tried to prioritize it like this. 1: family, work, fishing. Family is first always. If I can't go fishing because of family or work, so what?  I'll go fishing another day.

 

I'd throw health into that mix too.  Maybe at the top.  I was once told "if you don't have your health, you don't have much."

[Jmurphy87]

I would say be extremely careful on how you choose to proceed with your decisions. I am at a point in my life where I am hopelessly addicted to fishing and it’s all that I think about most of the time. I have very interesting things going on with my family situation currently and I want to make sure that I end up making the right decisions and not just what seems right in the moment. Fishing has put me into debt of sorts and I am currently living alone in a motel room, not debt related fully but to try and figure out what I truly want in life and how I want to proceed. 
 

I will say that wanting to fish for extended periods of time is completely normal and it’s perfectly normal for you to want that uninterrupted time with what you truly enjoy. Just be really careful of what this hobby that we love so dearly might cost us if we make the wrong decision and choices. Heck I have been up 26 hours now and I just got out of work at 8:15am and I am thinking about going and fishing this new to me urban area, although I know that being a supervisor at a plastics factory that I should probably get some sleep before having to be back into work at 7:30pm for another 13 hour night until next Tuesday. It’s all prioritizing and making the right calls, sometimes what we choose can be extremely lonely and leaves us wondering if we made the right choice.

 

Sorry for the book but I wanted to share my experiences with you to help you understand your choices.

[Skunkmaster-k]

My kids used to come fishing with me all the time. We would fish late into the night with a green light dangling off the edge of the dock , laughing and telling stories. Those are great memories.  Now they are teenagers and wouldn’t be caught dead fishing with the old man. Teenagers suck. 

[Choporoz]

@Vince, I can relate to much of what you say.  I probably fish more than 80-90% of BR members.   And rarely does it seem like enough.   I, too, really appreciate the long days on the water.  And I have learned that one 8 hour day beats three 3-hour days much of the time, for me.  So, some weeks, I forego the short, opportunistic trips and take care of other priorities, while at the same time, building up some capital to afford the time and latitude for a long day alone fishing.  Sucks to pass up a short trip sometimes, but it pays off in more better long trips 

[Vince]

Wow... Everyone kind of ran with that. I appreciate the feedback, and I'll let you know the solution at the end. But now I need to defend myself. I don't want to get away from my kids, I am not a bad father, I am not absent. I stayed home with them when they were babies, I own a construction company, so I make my hours around them. I drop them off, and pick them up everyday. They are my best friends. And since their mother is not in the picture, and I've been a single dad for the last sixteen years, I finally found a woman to be with me, and my kids love her. My girlfriend is amazing. On top of that, my friends are like my brothers, we have an unbreakable bond, we all met in highschool, and now our kids are growing up together. I love my friends and family and prioritize them over everything. I would much rather fish with the kids for an hour than by myself. I appreciate my time with them and cherish every moment. 

 

I was JUST SAYING... is it unreasonable to ask for a 12 hour fishing trip alone, because I love fishing. It's my one passion, that I use to bond with my friends, my significant other, and my children. It bonded me to my grandfather, and my dad. But it's also a stress relief and time alone. I don't drink, I don't gamble, I don't womanize, I don't do drugs, I don't watch sports, I just like to fish. 

 

- THE SOLUTION -

 

As several users posted, fishing for 12 hours alone is not at all unreasonable. And it is important to take time for yourself, no matter who you are. I've talked to my girlfriend and kids about this, and they understand that I'm very passionate about fishing, so I get a solid 12 hour fishing day every month to myself. I still will go with my kids, girlfriend, and buddies on separate trips. I'll fish about a dozen times a month, but one of those is all mine. It's a happy, healthy way to figure it out, my problem was that I was too scared that people would feel like I didn't want them around, or that I was being selfish. Turns out, my loved ones are more than understanding, and actually wanted me to have a long trip every weekend, but I dialed it down to once a month because that's what felt right. 

 

Sorry this was so lengthy, and thanks for sticking through it. 

I appreciate all the feedback, great advice all around, especially from the old guys. You all helped me get through this. I'll update after a few months, let you know how it goes. 👍🎣