Anybody else struggle with living in the past/nostalgia?

[Randy Price]

I'm opening myself up here but I've struggled for most of my life with living in the past (I'm 59).  If anyone needs a pair of rose colored glasses I have the best pair in the world.  The sad thing about all of it is that I've truly had a blessed life.  Two great sons, a good wife (we've had/have our issues) so I really don't understand why I'm geared the way I am.  For example, I try to maintain friendships with people I used to work with 20+ years ago and guess what?  I'm the only one.   The old co-worker/friends have all moved on.   And now that my wife and I are empty nesters it's easier to look back and wish/dream.  Anyone else?

[TnRiver46]

My boss was that way with every single aspect of life, especially pay grade. So I was forced to quit. After 17 yrs with the company when I said I’m quitting , he said “well I guess I didn’t keep up with the times” Be careful! He nearly strokes out when somebody builds a new house or gas station. Adapt and change or be left behind 

[Jig Man]

Nope not me.  Everyday is a new adventure and I can’t wait to see what happens.  I’ve never looked back on an event or job, but I am not one who seeks relationships with others.

[Tennessee Boy]

I would encourage you to talk to a professional about this.  If you’re struggling with feelings that you can’t explain,  the cause is probably deeper than you realize.  There are people that can help you figure it out.

[A-Jay]

We are all wired differently.

Life is the ultimate challenge.

Not really easy for anyone.

Seems you've been dealing with a good dose of life for a while now.

https://www.bassresource.com/bass-fishing-forums/topic/251762-question-for-men-over-55/

The advice offered here and previously regarding professional assistance seems appropriate.

Hope you can find the help you need.

A-Jay

 

[flyfisher]

I've always followed the look where you are going not where you've been philosophy.

[12poundbass]

You need to look in the rear view mirror once in a while to see where you’ve been. If you forget the past there’s a good chance history will repeat itself. That being said, if you’re looking in the past too long and not where you are or where you’re going you’ll end up in the weeds real quick and lost. 
 

Like others have said, it’s time to talk with a professional. 

[Randy Price]

Thanks everyone.  I will reach out to a professional.

[throttleplate]

I always look into my past so i can figure where i want to go in the future. For example my wife and i are going to go on a couple long vacations this year, problem is i have been to every state in the usa and am having trouble deciding where i would want to revisit and hoping she would like it.

So i am going through my memory bank which brings back memories of past friends i could visit along the way, good memories, bad memories of places, do i want a do over to experience more than the first time, do i want to see how places have changed from 20 plus years ago.....

[Catt]

If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is. - Unknown 

 

Yesterday is gone, tomorrow isn't promised, we only have today. Apply what you learned yesterday to today & pray you have a tomorrow.

[cheezyridr]

4 minutes ago, throttleplate said:

I always look into my past so i can figure where i want to go in the future. For example my wife and i are going to go on a couple long vacations this year, problem is i have been to every state in the usa and am having trouble deciding where i would want to revisit and hoping she would like it.

So i am going through my memory bank which brings back memories of past friends i could visit along the way, good memories, bad memories of places, do i want a do over to experience more than the first time, do i want to see how places have changed from 20 plus years ago.....

 

i used to live in tenn, back in the 90's. i lived there a couple years.  while i lived there, me and my next door neighbor hung out at one house or the other probably 3 times a week. we went fishing together a few times.  i took a job that had me traveling all the time, so i let go of the rented house and just lived on the road. i went back about a year and a half later, as i was passing thru, (sort of).  it surprised me how different everything was in just that short amount of time.  i went to say hi to my neighbor, and he seemed like he barely remembered me, it was weird. 

[N Florida Mike]

Im very nostalgic. The thing that gets to me the worst is the absurd amount of development in my area. I remember how it used to be. I’ve always been an outdoorsman. Most of   My favorite fishing and hunting spots are now shopping centers , apartments and subdivisions. The culture I grew up with is mostly gone forever, along with most of the people. At least I got to see it how it used to be.  I’m finally at a place where I could leave. But Im not financially able.

Im also realistic. Spending time dwelling on how it was doesn’t help at all. Im very thankful for my present life , which is probably better than 90% of the rest of the world, and I have a bright future in store with the Creator.

So , even though I’m a country boy stuck in the suburbs, I can survive and thrive in spite of the changes.!!

 

[Glenn]

@Randy Price I'm the same age as you, probably have birthdays very close together.  As we get older, the more memories we have.  It's natural to reflect back every so often.  

 

It hit me like a lead pipe a few years ago: life is about making memories.  So as much as you like to reminisce, focus on making many new memories as much as possible with all your friends and family! 

 

Life is there for you.  Just reach out and grab it!

[Captain Phil]

I hear you.  As we get older, we often find ourselves dwelling on the past.   We remember our youth and the good times we had.  People we knew are gone and the world doesn't look the same.  A bigger problem with Boomers is we were once the driving force behind everything.  Everybody in a TV or magazine ad looked like us.  They sold us cars, houses, boats and everything else money can buy.  We dominated the music, styles and trends. Today, the only boomer ads you see are for catheters or funeral services.  Depression can be tough. Your decision to seek professional help is a good one.   Talking about it is a good start.  

[throttleplate]

3 hours ago, Captain Phil said:

Today, the only boomer ads you see are for catheters or funeral services. 

 

you forgot these.

 

[jbmaine]

I'm much like you. They don't call it the good old days for nothing. I have never lives further than ten miles from here, and still fish the same lake I Did as a kid 60+ years ago. 

[Woody B]

I'll be 60 in a month.  I don't think I live in, or dwell on the past, but I do have memories.   

 

There's some stuff that I miss from "the good old days" but sometime I think "the good old days" weren't as good as our memories.  

[greentrout]

I enjoy reading Civil War History and taking free courses on American History and Western Civilization on the net. The way things are right now, I find myself reminiscing about the 70's and 80's more and more ...

[livin2fish]

At 83, the only thing about the past that I would wish for is that the love of my life was still with me.  I don't dwell on it.  Every new day is a blessing to be lived and enjoyed.  I'm blessed to be physically and mentally able to enjoy that day.

[slonezp]

On 2/12/2024 at 3:29 PM, Catt said:

If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is. - Unknown 

 

Yesterday is gone, tomorrow isn't promised, we only have today. Apply what you learned yesterday to today & pray you have a tomorrow.

How I heard this, and it will get censored by the site, When you have one foot in yesterday and the other foot in tomorrow, you tick all over today.

[Bird]

I remember my past very well but it's been written in stone, nothing I can do to change it.

The present is something I can have an effect on, me personally and others.

Have a positive influence on someone else and you'll reap the benefits.

Constantly dwelling in the past with a form of negativity can be something more serious, depression.

Happy vs sad.

[dave]

I have friend I've known since junior high school.  We went all the way through high school together and were very close even after I got home from boot camp and he went off to college.  We were inseparable.  We saw each other occasionally after we both got married and had our first child.   Then, we drifted apart.  Raising our families.

 

In late 2019, I reached out.  We got together in January 2020 for lunch.  We've been seeing each other every other month. (we always say every month but, life happens) Our lunches at Glory Days range from three to four hours at a time and 20 minutes in the parking lot saying goodbye.

 

One day during lunch he says to me, "thank you for reaching out that first time. It's just not in me to do that type of thing, I don't know why. I am so glad we are back in each others lives and I have you to thank."

 

Moral of the story?   Reach out.  Someone may be waiting to hear from you and they don't even know it.

[The Bassman]

On 2/12/2024 at 11:03 AM, Randy Price said:

I'm opening myself up here but I've struggled for most of my life with living in the past (I'm 59).  If anyone needs a pair of rose colored glasses I have the best pair in the world.  The sad thing about all of it is that I've truly had a blessed life.  Two great sons, a good wife (we've had/have our issues) so I really don't understand why I'm geared the way I am.  For example, I try to maintain friendships with people I used to work with 20+ years ago and guess what?  I'm the only one.   The old co-worker/friends have all moved on.   And now that my wife and I are empty nesters it's easier to look back and wish/dream.  Anyone else?

I'm a better painter than a shrink but I don't see this as such an issue. Sometimes we need a happy place to retreat to. I do it a lot so maybe I've got the same problem.