I lost my best friend yesterday.

[Boomstick]

Yesterday, I got an email from my best friend that was short and basically said I love you like a brother please send this to my family. It had two rtf files attached, Kind of alarming, but rtf files? can you even still make them? My first thought was that he got hacked. I was talking to him on Skype all day, which is fairly normal. Later in the day, I got a lot of one-word responses but he tends to come back and respond to everything at once, so everything seemed normal. So I asked him if he got hacked but got no response.

 

Around 8PM, his sister asked me to call her. She informed me that he had thrown himself off a bridge. I then opened the files, one was contacts and his personal information and the other was a suicide letter.

 

In 2018 when I was in the hospital with colon cancer, not only did he come to see me, but when I got out and was on chemo and pretty exhausted, he came down to fish with me every weekend so I didn't have to drive as far (we'd normally meet halfway). It meant the world to me and really lifted my spirits in my darkest times. I hope he somehow knew that.

 

We worked three jobs together, including my prior job for a month short of 15 years. The response from his co-workers has been quite overwhelming. I wish he could have somehow seen all the nice things people said to me about him a week ago, maybe that would have changed how he saw things.

I'm a little shocked too. He disappeared off the face of the planet come covid. Last summer, he didn't talk to his sisters or mother for a while and they actually called the police to see if he was still alive. After that, he acknowledged his problems, sought help, messaged me and said sorry for being distant and we talked every day since. We found a fishing access point one night down the street from him, I helped him scout it out on Google Earth, told him how I'd target bass there and the next day at lunch he walked down to check it out and was looking forward to warmer weather so he could get waders and walk in and avoid the tree line. I called his boss (my former boss) and his initial thought was that it was a bad prank, he said he was doing so well, more active, outgoing and even lost a bunch of weight.

 

I'm absolutely devastated, hurt, angry and everything else all at once right now. He was the closest thing to my twin other than not playing guitar and not quite being as diehard about fishing as myself. He never drank to get drunk like me, so he was the perfect drinking buddy in college. Also was a fellow computer science major and software developer like myself.

[Choporoz]

Heartbreaking...very sorry for your loss,  Dean

[padlin]

Oh man, that really sucks, I feel for you.

[jpike16]

I’m so sorry for your loss

[TnRiver46]

Prayers for his family and all you guys that knew him 

[T-Billy]

Sorry to hear. I'll be keeping you and the rest of his loved ones in my prayers. God bless y'all.

[DitchPanda]

So sorry for your loss man...dealing with a tragedy in my household as well.  You are not alone. Prayers to you and your friends family.

[Woody B]

Sorry for your loss.   You'll be in mine and Mrs B's prayers.   

[Mike L]

Oh Man!

Im so sorry to hear this. 
My sincere condolences 

 

 

 

Mike

[GreenPig]

Sounds like he was more like a brother than a friend. I'am sorry for your loss.

[GRiver]

My condolences to you, his family, and his friends. 

[NorcalBassin]

Wow, that is just awful. So sorry for your loss and I hope you find peace knowing you were such a bright light in his unspoken darkness. 

[12poundbass]

So sorry for your loss.

[Bazoo]

Sorry to hear of it.

[Bankbeater]

Sorry for your loss. Prayers sent.

[Boomstick]

14 hours ago, GreenPig said:

Sounds like he was more like a brother than a friend. I'am sorry for your loss.

That's literally what he said in his email, "you were like a brother to me". Given my family, I would say he more like what a brother should be but yeah that's what it feels like.

[roadwarrior]

Sorry for your loss.

[Dwight Hottle]

My condolences Dean. 

[volzfan59]

Sorry for your loss, I know that this is really tough to deal with. I lost my closest friend to suicide in 1998. Not trying to make this about me, it's not, but if you don't have someone, find you a person to talk to. Thankfully I fished with my Pastor a lot. He was the help that I didn't know I needed. 

[N Florida Mike]

That’s really hard to hear . My best friend died of covid in 2021 and I just cried a little this morning thinking about him.

Prayers sent for you and his family…

[Susky River Rat]

I’m sorry for your loss. Prayers to you and his family .

[Bird]

Praying for you and everyone that was close to him.

[J._Bricker]

Sorry to hear about the loss of your good friend and my condolences to you and his family in this difficult time and circumstances.

[Glenn]

So sorry for your loss.

[Boomstick]

Thanks guys.

Today was hard. It was my first day back to work, and we'd normally chat it up while we work. Today was quiet.