Work issue--don't really know how to proceed....

[AlabamaSpothunter]

@cheezyridr  Dang brother that's a crazy story, glad it didn't turn out worse for you or your wife!   

[Woody B]

Go to work to make money, not to make friends, or enemies.  

 

I've got a nephew who's a convicted sex offender.   His official record show a conviction of sex with a minor/statutory rape.    I'm not excusing his behavior, but will tell what the "official record" doesn't.   

 

He had a drunken threesome with his girlfriend, and her 15 year old daughter.   6 months later when he broke up with the girlfriend she reported the "rape" to the police.   Again, I'm not excusing his actions, but he's not a person who goes around having sex with underage girls.   

[VolFan]

What is the old saying? Don’t go looking for something if you can’t handle what you find. You want to buy him a beer and ask him his side of the story and report back? Otherwise it sounds like he’s made his peace with justice, done his time, and is trying to get back to work. If you can’t work with him maybe it’s not the company for you. Would I invite him around my wife or daughter? Probably not. Could I build a house or assemble a car or dig a ditch with him? 100%

[DitchPanda]

Guy admitted to assaulting and raping this young woman...why the hell do I care what his side of the story is. Best case scenario I find out he admitted to it for a reduced sentence and claims he's innocent, so either he is a liar or he's a rapist. How could I believe anything he says.

Oh and I didn't go looking for anything this information was brought to me.

[gim]

@DitchPanda maybe he agreed to a plea deal in court and part of the deal was after a specific term in prison, he would be permitted to "rejoin" society.  It's also possible that you may not be fully familiar with your company's hiring practices if that is not your responsibility.

 

I'm not playing Devi's advocate here but there are details of this that may not have been disclosed in this situation, and maybe never will either.  Pure speculation.

[VolFan]

I think you’ve already made your decision. It’s up to you what you do with it.

[a1712]

My Daughter Megan came down to my fishing room one day while I was cleaning a reel. She sat down at the bench I was sitting at and just watched. A short time went by and I finally ask her " what's on your mind Honey". I wasn't expecting the reply I got. She said, "Dad, (insert boyfriends name here) raped me". I've never felt like such a huge failure in my entire life. It will be 7 years next April and I don't believe I'll ever get past it. So to all you saying "mind your own business", shame on you. I won't speak of it anymore. Brian. 

[flyfisher]

Interesting here that you want to go to management about this and have issues with the moral side of it yet you haven't mentioned leaving the company that hired him for moral reasons.  Sounds to me tha money is the driver and you want to make a living just like this guy.  If what he admitted to doing is what you say it is, he is a disgusting and deplorable human being.  Doesn't matter though if it isn't impacting his work.  

If you really want to be a man about it, go talk to him and lay it all out there instead of going the jujior high girl route of searching his online presence and talking about it behind his back.  

[DitchPanda]

8 hours ago, flyfisher said:

Interesting here that you want to go to management about this and have issues with the moral side of it yet you haven't mentioned leaving the company that hired him for moral reasons.  Sounds to me tha money is the driver and you want to make a living just like this guy.  If what he admitted to doing is what you say it is, he is a disgusting and deplorable human being.  Doesn't matter though if it isn't impacting his work.  

If you really want to be a man about it, go talk to him and lay it all out there instead of going the jujior high girl route of searching his online presence and talking about it behind his back.  

Again as I've stated in several posts I didn't search him out, I was at work and somebody literally set this information on my desk. Thanks for insulting me without bothering to even read the posts. 

As far as him wanting to make a living your right, I can't fault him for that. The failure is on my management team, they always claim we don't hire violent felons.

[TnRiver46]

I always choose forgiveness 

[flyfisher]

2 hours ago, DitchPanda said:

Again as I've stated in several posts I didn't search him out, I was at work and somebody literally set this information on my desk. Thanks for insulting me without bothering to even read the posts. 

As far as him wanting to make a living your right, I can't fault him for that. The failure is on my management team, they always claim we don't hire violent felons.

I read the posts and it doesn't change what I intended to say.  

[J Francho]

There was a really good story on NPR that was an interview from the perpetrator's point of view.  He committed a non violent, misdemeanor crime (indecent exposure) and served his time.  It details his regret, the damage that media caused to his family, and how he felt about his victims.  It took place in Columbus Ohio.  It was interesting, and he clearly had a mental break, and was a victim himself, acting out in a cycle of abuse.  It might help you to search it out, come to your own conclusion, and give yourself closure on what ever you're feeling now.  I don't believe that once a scumbag, always a scumbag.  But, there has to be a real effort to own up, pay reparations, serve your sentence, and offer amends to your victims.  Maybe I'm talking out my rear end, but it was eye opening for me.

[volzfan59]

4 hours ago, TnRiver46 said:

I always choose forgiveness 

Amen.

[Tennessee Boy]

@DitchPanda I will add this to what I’ve already said.   I’ve worked with people that I didn’t like,  that I didn’t respect,  and that I didn’t trust.  If I found out that one of them had raped someone,  I would have a hard time being around them.    The right thing to do is to be professional and work with the people that you are hired to work with.   It’s not always easy to do the right thing and I sympathize with the position you’re in.

[Darth-Baiter]

I admit, it would be tough to stomach it all.  but in reality, you still don't really know everything.

 

I keep my head down and work.  when I hire, it really is a crap shoot.  

[Skunkmaster-k]

I’ve worked with a lot of people that should have gone to prison . 

[cheezyridr]

17 hours ago, a1712 said:

My Daughter Megan came down to my fishing room one day while I was cleaning a reel. She sat down at the bench I was sitting at and just watched. A short time went by and I finally ask her " what's on your mind Honey". I wasn't expecting the reply I got. She said, "Dad, (insert boyfriends name here) raped me". I've never felt like such a huge failure in my entire life. It will be 7 years next April and I don't believe I'll ever get past it. So to all you saying "mind your own business", shame on you. I won't speak of it anymore. Brian. 

 

i don't know how you kept yourself from...tcb, but i hope your daughter was able to somehow get through it, and  eventually be ok

[DitchPanda]

I appreciate all the responses and different perspectives on this matter. Ultimately I've calmed down enough to realize it isn't worth my job or my families financial well being to go in guns blazing to prove A point that will solve nothing. I don't agree with what he did if he indeed did it, and I don't agree with them hiring him based off of that, but ultimately neither of those things were in my control. My plan is to keep it professional and try my best to keep my emotions out of it. @A-Jay brought up a good point about this will work itself out one way or the other and I agree. If this guy is respectful to everyone and hard working at work then I guess it won't really matter. If he's lazy or his behavior is inappropriate, he wont be there. Thanks all.

[T-Billy]

11 hours ago, TnRiver46 said:

I always choose forgiveness 

Often not easy, but it's what I'm commanded to do, so I try my best. 

[Catt]

This is the third subject that has came up this year where some of us can not really give you our thoughts without being in trouble with management. 

 

Just because someone was convicted in court doesn't mean the truth came out. Neither does a non-conviction mean they were innocent. 

 

P.S. I totally agree with management's decisions 

[DitchPanda]

2 hours ago, Catt said:

This is the third subject that has came up this year where some of us can not really give you our thoughts without being in trouble with management. 

 

Just because someone was convicted in court doesn't mean the truth came out. Neither does a non-conviction mean they were innocent. 

 

P.S. I totally agree with management's decisions 

Its cool that you agree with their decision, I don't but people are different.

I agree with you that just because a verdict went one way or the other doesn't prove innocence or guilt. Our court system is like everything designed by humans, imperfect. That said, the guy admitted to his crime and agreed with the victims statement. That's all I can base it on.

As far as the whole trouble with management thing, yes I kind of have an ongoing issue with them. I just don't like people that say they conduct themselves a certain way, then do the opposite. Maybe being fake or lying is just how business is done.

[webertime]

I worry that if you do something a hostile workplace complaint could be made against you.   He sucks but it's outside your sphere of influence. 

[Dwight Hottle]

@DitchPanda I think @Catt reference to management means Bass Resource management not the management at your place of employment.

[J Francho]

Even though I would guess @Catt and I are on opposite sides of the fence, so to speak, this is one where we probably meet right in the middle.  Management...I'll shut up now.

[Catt]

1 hour ago, J Francho said:

Management...I'll shut up now.

 

Hanging over my coffee pot