Fishing as Therapy.

[Darth-Baiter]

i havent fished in almost a month.  i went to visit my elderly mom, convaleseing from a recent fall, and she...she friggen fell again on my watch.  it broke my heart to see her on the ground.   we had to start the clock over again, with ER visits, ICU and etc.  took the wind out of my sails.  

 

my brother tried to cancel an upcoming hog hunt and i suggested he still go.  i have just returned back home to CA, and my mom is safe in a rehab-facilty.  i told my brother to go on the hunt, if only to recharge himself.  i emphasized how it is important not to forget your own health during such events.

 

my mom is slowly mending i think.  she has a crappy attitude, but whatever.  Saturday, i am going to take my own advice.  i am going fishing.  probably solo, since i hope to visit my secret lake.  the guilt of "having fun" when my mom is in a bad place is effen wierd.  i'm a grownassman, and my mom still works the guilt trips

 

GAH..i hope the bass are biting!!  the tug is the drug i need.   haha.  on a side note, i actually hurt my back somewhat lifting my mom off the ground in a panic.  been doing yoga stretches on my office floor.  Gah..i hope the bass are biting.    but the quiet peacefullness would be welcomed.  

[BassNJake]

I hope that your mom gets better and good luck !!

 

[AlabamaSpothunter]

Hope your mom gets better, and you catch a bunch of fish!

 

The fact is that you're a great son and did everything you could do for your mom.   Pretty sure your mom wouldn't want you feeling guilty and would urge you to do exactly what you're going to do.

 

I let my fishing goals stand in the way of joy and therapy many times, wish it wasn't so.   Then again I wouldn't fish nearly as much if I wasn't driven to accomplish personal goals on the water.  

[Bluebasser86]

Sorry to hear about your mom. It's a weird feeling when we have to take care of those that took care of us at one point in our lives. My mom always works guilt trips, drives me crazy. I've gotten to where I call her out on it since I've gotten older.

 

Fishing is my therapy, 100% no doubt about it. The stresses of daily life combined with the stresses of work really wear me down. Thankfully, my wife is understanding and knows there is a big difference between when I get to go and when I don't. 

[Luke Barnes]

Fishing is my therapy as well. I never, ever think about the army, war, ptsd etc... when I am fishing. Self care is hard to do but you NEED to do it. My wife and I have a special needs son and we discovered what care giver burnout is with him. 

 

Everybody needs to recharge and it will do your mom some good having you fresh and relaxed after a good fishing trip. 

 

I pray she gets well very quickly. 

[immortl]

I feel your pain.  It is quite a change when we're taking care of those who once took care of us.  I believe it is 100% OK to take a few hours or a day to get out fishing. 

 

I'm full time taking care of both my elderly parents, my wife and her medical procedures, and work full time (fortunately from home) where over the past 2 months I have worked regular 40 daytime hours and about 14 additional night/weekend change windows that added 20-40 additional hours to each week.  I am earning a hell of a lot of comp time for when I have to run them to doctors and whatnot, so that's a plus. 

 

Last week both parents were in the hospital while the wife was recovering from surgery.    Getting out fishing for a few hours every other week or so greatly contributes to me maintaining whatever semblance of sanity passes for 'normal' for me.  And in my case, they're happy for me to get out for a bit and look forward to the videos of my catches when I get home.

 

Hang in there, and do take care of yourself, you cannot help others if you're not taking care of yourself.

 

Added on edit: well looky there, I passed the threshold and can edit my posts, woot!  (Take pleasure in the little things, that helps too).

Sending

[Darth-Baiter]

17 minutes ago, immortl said:

I feel your pain.  It is quite a change when we're taking care of those who once took care of us.  I believe it is 100% OK to take a few hours or a day to get out fishing. 

 

I'm full time taking care of both my elderly parents, my wife and her medical procedures, and work full time (fortunately from home) where over the past 2 months I have worked regular 40 daytime hours and about 14 additional night/weekend change windows that added 20-40 additional hours to each week.  I am earning a hell of a lot of comp time for when I have to run them to doctors and whatnot, so that's a plus. 

 

Last week both parents were in the hospital while the wife was recovering from surgery.    Getting out fishing for a few hours every other week or so greatly contributes to me maintaining whatever semblance of sanity passes for 'normal' for me.  And in my case, they're happy for me to get out for a bit and look forward to the videos of my catches when I get home.

 

Hang in there, and do take care of yourself, you cannot help others if you're not taking care of yourself.

 

Added on edit: well looky there, I passed the threshold and can edit my posts, woot!  (Take pleasure in the little things, that helps too).

Sending

thanks Noobie!!!

 

i wish the best for your parents as well.  

 

and thanks to everyone!!  i will drive back for the T-day holiday.   i need to bring my problem dog.  i think i will drag my kayak, "just in case".  hahha.  what a wild year it's been.  

[geo g]

I have been in your shoes, with my 95 year old mother falling, and breaking her humorous bone, a month later dad suddenly passing away unexpectedly in my arms at 95, and then having to put mom in assisted living.  Mom adjusted very well to her new surroundings and loves the place.  Things will get better, and life return to a more normal pattern.  Fishing is always my place to chill and relax, good  music, and never any  competition.   Just enjoying your time on the water, and even better if I can share that time with an old friend.  Doesn't get any better than that!  

[Bankbeater]

Sorry to hear about your mom.  It's good to get out on the water and let your mind clear, if only for a few hours.

[A-Jay]

@Darth-Baiter

Sorry your Mom is having such a hard time and that you tweaked your back. 

Hope you both can be on the mend soon.

Life is hard.

A-Jay

[TnRiver46]

Hopefully she’s on the mend, definitely go fishin! 

[Junk Fisherman]

4 hours ago, geo g said:

I have been in your shoes, with my 95 year old mother falling, and breaking her humorous bone, a month later dad suddenly passing away unexpectedly in my arms at 95, and then having to put mom in assisted living.  Things will get better, and life return to a more normal pattern.  Fishing is always my place to chill and relax, good  music, and never any  competition.   Just enjoying your time on the water, and even better if I can share that time with an old friend.  Doesn't get any better than that!  

 

That sounds like an awful stretch to go through.  Glad to hear things have improved. 

[rtwvumtneer6]

I hesitate to share this because it is most certainly selfish, but I hope some of you might understand.  And to my point @Darth-Baiter go fish.  Not trying to one up ya, just sharing my experience in an effort to show some support. 

 

When my dad was placed into hospice care (on a Thursday evening) I had a tournament scheduled for that Saturday.  They gave him up to a week, but that's as good a guess as any.  Whatever you believe (or don't) it was out of our hands.  I made the decision to go fish - and it was exactly what I needed for my own mental health.  Caught a 7+ for big bass and won the derby by a couple pounds.  Honestly could have zeroed because the win that day was that in those 8 hours I was able to recharge and get my head right.  I believe that "self care" allowed me to handle his passing and the events that followed in a much more appropriate way.

 

Thanks,

RT

[Bird]

Praying for your mom.

Fishing is a cure all, physically and emotionally.

Go for fun, go for solice, go to catch, however your feeling at that moment.

I go several times per week because I don't feel like unloading the boat ?.

 

[WRB]

Fall downs are a category of elderly people who can no longer live independently and must have long term care.

This is a big turning point for the elderly and without long term heath care insurance can wipe out nest eggs to live independently a big hardship and worry.

My advice is ta pkesome time off to get your self together and remember to talk to the living.

Tom

[Masaccio]

18 hours ago, Darth-Baiter said:

i havent fished in almost a month.  i went to visit my elderly mom, convaleseing from a recent fall, and she...she friggen fell again on my watch.  it broke my heart to see her on the ground.   we had to start the clock over again, with ER visits, ICU and etc.  took the wind out of my sails.  

 

my brother tried to cancel an upcoming hog hunt and i suggested he still go.  i have just returned back home to CA, and my mom is safe in a rehab-facilty.  i told my brother to go on the hunt, if only to recharge himself.  i emphasized how it is important not to forget your own health during such events.

 

my mom is slowly mending i think.  she has a crappy attitude, but whatever.  Saturday, i am going to take my own advice.  i am going fishing.  probably solo, since i hope to visit my secret lake.  the guilt of "having fun" when my mom is in a bad place is effen wierd.  i'm a grownassman, and my mom still works the guilt trips

 

GAH..i hope the bass are biting!!  the tug is the drug i need.   haha.  on a side note, i actually hurt my back somewhat lifting my mom off the ground in a panic.  been doing yoga stretches on my office floor.  Gah..i hope the bass are biting.    but the quiet peacefullness would be welcomed.  

Inspirational post and responses.  Taking care of our elderly has a way of threatening to take our own power away because often we can only do our best without realizing that we're making a difference.  Your brother and you are lucky to have each other and your mom lucky to have both of you.  Good luck on the fishing trip and with your mom. 

[Eric 26]

First and foremost ?? for a speedy recovery for your mom. I’m fortunate in the fact my 82 year old father still lives at home and does pretty well by himself. My mother in-law at 76 is a different story and my wife who is an only child and I just had this conversation about her (wife’s)mental health. I find my mental recovery in fishing and walking my dogs, unfortunately there is only enough time in the day/week to one activity daily?

[padlin]

My 97 yo MIL was staying with us for a month a couple years ago, she tripped over the carpet in her bedroom early in the evening, broke her upper arm, and just sat in a chair all night as she didn't want to bother us. Sure makes one feel guilty. 6 months later she was god as new.

 

All the throw rugs in the house were gone the same day.

 

Some of these old ladies are tough.

[fishhugger]

that's such a tuff situation. one of my relatives is 98... now he's in a board and care, and has dementia. when he goes, it wouldn't be such a terrible thing, for him....  i'd rather he go before he busts a pelvis or leg - than after. and i think he feels the same.  falls are pretty tuff.

yeah - i been phishing for my mental and physical health currently. that's why i use lures. i enjoy them. and enjoy just casting.

[LCG]

Sorry for your mom health. Hope she gets better soon.

 

With everything going on in the world nowdays, I can't think of a better time to go fishing. Unplug and take some time to slow down. Enjoy.