Saying I love you..

[DitchPanda]

So there are few things that challenge a mans toughness or masculinity like saying I love you to another man ...at least in our stupid culture. Its ridiculous to me. I love my buddies Jon an Timm...we have been friends for 20+ years and their parents are like 2nd mom and dad to me...they are the only brothers I've ever had. I also love my buddy Brian ..we've been buds for 16 years and we came into each others lives at a very tumultuous time. Last but not least my buddy Matt..I love him. He was my supervisor for years. He helped me get to where I am today as an operator..we have been thru alot. We've been thru an onsite death. If that doesn't change your perspective on someone I don't know what will. Sorry if this was a rant...but I don't get it.

[GreenPig]

Told a couple friends I loved them last year and they seemed shocked and didn't know what to say. We've been friends for 34 years and been there for each other through the good and bad. I wanted them to know.

[Captain Phil]

My wife says " I love you" to her girl friends all the time.  I have a hard time with it as "love" has many meanings. I doubt I would say this to a man.  It seems a little intimate to me.  This may be because in my generation men were not suppose to show their emotions.  How would I have felt if my father had said this to man in the 50s?  It would have been very confusing for sure.   Younger people don't feel the same way about words.  

[Catt]

Y'all ever have a friend die in your arms?

 

You will regret not telling them you love them!

[A-Jay]

I love my wife, my son and my brother.

Certainly have strong feeling for others in my life,

especially those few in the inner circle.

However, despite the importance & strength of those relationship,

they are not love to me.

Finally, I do 'love' my dogs.

And that's a different deal too. 

It's sort of complicated and super personal.

A-Jay

[Deleted account]

Just make sure yall put the chairs back when we are done with this circle...

[Captain Phil]

These are good conversations to have.  They may not seem related to fishing, but they relate to a person's overall health and well being.   As men, we tend to hold our feelings inside.  This is not healthy.  Talking about our feelings is a good thing.   

[Mike L]

My Dad a member of the “Greatest Generation”, always had a problem telling anyone he loved them. Wife, kids, grandkids didn’t matter. 
He was the definition of “You know I do so why should I tell you” thought process. 

Some of that was passed on to me. 

As I’ve gotten older it comes much easier now than it ever has. 
 

Even giving another man a hug….
Why does it seem that when we greet another man with a cursory hug, we always pat each other on the back, but don’t when we hug a woman??

 

Maybe you don’t and it doesn’t happen to you, but it does by me and to me. 
 

 

 

 

Mike

 

 

[flyfisher]

To me love is a choice not a feeling.  I choose to love people and those people are few.  I have no issues telling people males I love them if i made that choice to do so.  I'd rather make sure they feel loved and know it without me saying it though as that means more.

[Spankey]

It’s nothing for a few of my buddies and myself to give each other a big hug and a pat on the back and a “I love you man” when we see each other. Heck these are people you/we think the world of. Sometimes you don’t see each other for awhile. 
 

Weird? I don’t think so. When I was younger I probably did and when I saw it I had an eye brow that rose. 
 

There are a couple of guys I’ve know that have passed. Worked, hunted, fished and shot clays with over the years with. I was always the youngest guy among us. Wish I would have told them that. 

[volzfan59]

I love my wife, my boys, stepdaughter's and grandkids. I love my children in law. I have one extremely close friend, more like a brother. I love him, he loves me and we end each conversation, email and text with I love you.

[Catt]

Some of y'all are confusing friendship with acquaintances.

 

[Mobasser]

My wife and daughters always say this when we go home, hanging up the phone, saying goodbye etc. It's a good thing to say to folks that are close to you.

[Woody B]

Mrs B says I don't tell her I love her enough.   

 

I reminded her that I told her I loved her at our wedding.  I also assured her that if anything changed I'd let her know.   

 

(typical man,  humor as a response to a serious subject)

[steve carpenter]

My best friend and I are in our 70's and both Of us say "I love you" whenever we speak. I say it because its true and at our age and experiences may not have many future opportunities to do so. Value those super close friends.

[N Florida Mike]

I used to struggle with telling friends I loved them , but I got over it. 

I don’t have any problem hugging them either. Of course, it’s not the same way I hug my wife…?

[JackstrawIII]

Great post and interesting topic. 

 

I grew up in an "old school" family and didn't get told "I love you" much, though I know my folks do in fact love me. I try to tell my girls (I have three daughters) that I love them all the time, multiple times a day to give them what I never got.

 

As far as saying it to my friends... that's a great challenge. I do have a couple close friends that I love and I should tell them. I'm trying to get more bold with my words, this would be a great place to start. 

[GreenPig]

6 hours ago, Catt said:

Some of y'all are confusing friendship with acquaintances.

 

If you can call them at 3am and ask them to come and their response is "let me put on my pants" it's a friend. Everybody else is an acquaintance. 

[Captain Phil]

Growing up and living in Miami, we never hugged anyone in public.   A handshake was about as close as it got.  When we moved to Lake County, everyone hugs.  I never had an issue with a man hug.  Hugging someone's wife in front of their husband did make me feel a little uneasy.  I eventually got used to it and hugs are now common practice.  During Covid, some went with fist pumps and hugs turned into a political thing.  Not all hugs are the same.  I reserve my good hugs for my wife and son.  ☺️

[Catt]

[Mike L]

7 hours ago, GreenPig said:

If you can call them at 3am and ask them to come and their response is "let me put on my pants" it's a friend. Everybody else is an acquaintance. 

Always felt the same way..

Some people take “call if you need me”

literally. 
All I need to know is where you’re at, the why doesn’t matter. 
 

 

 

Mike

[gim]

I tell my wife that I love her but that is all.  I would feel uncomfortable telling any of my close friends that and I can assure you that they would feel the same way.

 

I'm not a big hugger either.  My wife's family is primarily composed of females and they all hug and they tried to include me in that initially when I joined as an in-law.  I tolerated it at first but eventually told my wife I didn't want to hug all them anymore.  I prefer a hand shake.  Just my style instead.

[J Francho]

I try to meet people where they are.  If that means hearing or saying words, or hugging over handshakes, then so be it.

[Smells like fish]

Good goobly goo, its still just October. I love you guys. 

[Catt]

3 hours ago, Mike L said:

All I need to know is where you’re at, the why doesn’t matter.