This Is Going To Be True For All of US

[Sam]

Funny, but true!

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don't have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month.

I have my own pad. I don't have a curfew. I have a driver's license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don't have acne. Life is great.

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row. I decided to stop calling the bathroom "John" and renamed it the "Jim". I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Old age is coming at a really bad time.

When I was a child I thought "nap time" was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is... " I don't have to write that down, I'll remember it".

I don't have gray hair... I have "wisdom highlights"! I'm just very wise.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age "Getting Lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came In there for.

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't remember their names.

Now, I'm wondering... did I steal this from you, or did you steal it from me?

[A-Jay]

51 minutes ago, Sam said:

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

 

This one drives me crazy !

And I mean way more than usual.

?

A-Jay

 

[AlabamaSpothunter]

Where is the...."I'm afraid of going to sleep, because I'll wake up with a new injury" part ?

[Darth-Baiter]

I like them all..maybe not the English one.

 

I flat out admire how other countries CAN (often) speak English.  I do admit, some of them suck at it.  but they speak it a lot better than I can speak theirs.  to me, an accent, thick or slight just means they speak more than one language.  and that is BADARSE.  bad to the bone.

[galyonj]

4 hours ago, Darth-Baiter said:

I like them all..maybe not the English one.

 

I don't think I've ever heard an option to select an english speaker, and I have to spend a lot of time in phone trees with various companies.

 

I – often – hear some variation of "Para español, presione la tecla numero dos", but never one for english.

[Jigfishn10]

These days “getting lucky” means pulling into a tight parking space.  

[MN Fisher]

11 minutes ago, Jigfishn10 said:

These days “getting lucky” means pulling into a tight parking space.  

Sometimes it's just finding an open spot.

[slonezp]

32 minutes ago, MN Fisher said:

Sometimes it's just finding an open spot.

Sometimes you need to pull the handicap card. LOL

[MN Fisher]

5 minutes ago, slonezp said:

Sometimes you need to pull the handicap card. LOL

I got one - the wife is partially disabled....but sometimes even those slots are full.

 

And yes, I check to make sure they're legal - $250 fine for non-handicap tagged vehicles parking in handicapped slot.

[slonezp]

4 minutes ago, MN Fisher said:

I got one - the wife is partially disabled....but sometimes even those slots are full.

 

And yes, I check to make sure they're legal - $250 fine for non-handicap tagged vehicles parking in handicapped slot.

I'm legally disabled and until I need the card, I won't pull it. LOL And, if I did pull it, no one would believe it. Left arm and hand don't work the way they are supposed to. I still work 50 hours a week... What's wrong with me?

[MN Fisher]

4 minutes ago, slonezp said:

I still work 50 hours a week... What's wrong with me?

Same thing my MIL has?

 

She's 75, has new hips, and still travels the country giving talks about commercial real estate sales to 'new' people in the field. She was president of CREW (Commercial Real Estate Women), and has won several awards.

[Big Hands]

On 9/28/2022 at 5:44 PM, Jigfishn10 said:

These days “getting lucky” means pulling into a tight parking space.  

I think it's always meant that.

[islandbass]

The English one doesn’t bother me at all. I have been blessed with the ability hear any accent speaking in English and comprehend it instantly. It doesn’t matter. Filipino, Indian, Indonesian, Japanese, cockney, German, Southern, east coast (NY, NJ, Boston), valley, etc. it doesn’t matter. My ear hears and my brain comprehends it. Everyone who speaks a language has an accent and we are no exception. What is even cooler is detecting accents in other languages. For example Spanish speakers from Spain sound nothing like those in Mexico. Even from within Mexico as here. People from Sinaloa have a different accent from people from Mexico City. And poor me, for the life of me, even though Spanish is my second language via marriage, my gift almost fails when trying to understand Spanish speakers from Puerto Rico or Cuba, ? and shamefully, one of my brother in laws. I still can’t understand him, lol. 
 

I have been summoned to translate for folks when it’s an operator with a Filipino or Indian accent to translate, lol. 
 

What I hate about those call is usually the option I want is at the bottom of the ding dang list, lol. 

[Deleted account]

On 9/28/2022 at 12:40 PM, A-Jay said:

This one drives me crazy !

And I mean way more than usual.

?

A-Jay

 

Me two (ha), it should be "dos para Ingles"...  

[VolFan]

46 minutes ago, islandbass said:

The English one doesn’t bother me at all. I have been blessed with the ability hear any accent speaking in English and comprehend it instantly.

I like to amaze my wife by listening to Southern accents and telling her what state they’re from. Sometimes I can even call the area of the state. It’s a totally useful skill.

[islandbass]

3 hours ago, VolFan said:

I like to amaze my wife by listening to Southern accents and telling her what state they’re from. Sometimes I can even call the area of the state. It’s a totally useful skill.

That is awesome! While my ear is not as versed as yours is for southern accents, I was dealing with an auto claim and the operator had a southern accent and while it sounded pleasant and cool, I could only guess what state she was in. It happened to be SC. Next time, if I need to know, and if I happen to be on who wants to be a millionaire, I hope I can count on you to, “call a friend” , lol. 

[AlabamaSpothunter]

I have no clue I have a Southern accent until I land at a place like Vegas, and you'd think I was from Australia the way people react.

 

If you were born and raised in the South, it's likely pretty hard to tell Southern accent dialects.  They all sound like you lol.   

 

Pretty sure it's the same way Yankee accents are.....I can tell a person is from Boston, or New York much quicker than I can tell if someone is from Atlanta, or Birmingham.   You can spot a Yankee accent a mile away down here, and I'd assume the same is true for a Southern one north of the Mason Dixon line.

 

It's easy to forget how big America is, yet relatively united we still are.   A thing like Bass fishing allows a Yankee and Southerner to share something so intimate only fellow anglers can relate to. 

 

I've also seen several Canadians, and today I saw a guy from the UK.   Bass are that special