Life changing decision

[jbsoonerfan]

This might be too long to read, and I will probably be all over the place, but I have an opportunity that will change my life and my kids lives. As many of you know I am a teacher. I have been teaching at the same school I started at and graduated from. During my time there (16 years), I coached for 12 years and coached all sports and ages. I got out of coaching in the school so I could focus on coaching my girls teams instead. Next year all my girls will be in middle school so me coaching them is almost over. I had expressed interest to my superintendent about getting back in to coaching. He called me in his office last month and asked if I wanted to coach JR high softball. At my school every JH head coach is the assistant HS coach. I thought this was perfect. I went back in the next week to talk a bit more about it and he said it would not be asst HS. I explained to him that in just 2 years I would have 2 girls in HS so it wouldn't make sense for me to be stuck in JH and not getting to watch them. He said he would see what he could do and it would be voted on during the May board meeting. Well, they only had 3 board members show up in May so they couldn't vote. During all this time I had a couple people who's kids play for me but don't attend school here in my ear about a job at a school that is 11 miles away. This school has been VERY successful the last few years and it is an excellent school. They were telling me that they were looking to hire an asst JH and asst HS softball coach. I had been telling them there was no way I would leave my job. This past Monday I went back in and talked to my superintendent and he didn't really act like he was certain about anything till the June board meeting. Well, that didn't sit well with me so I sent my resume to this other school on Monday evening. They called on Tuesday and I met with them today. They offered me asst JH and HS softball, a wildlife class, they are going to let me start a track program and they are going to beat my current salary. They actually wanted me to take the job on the spot, but I told them I would have to talk to my wife. They would like to know by Monday. I am the first person they interviewed and they said they knew I was who they wanted. This is by far the biggest decision I have ever had to make. Whatever decision I make, I just hope it turns out to be the right one.

[12poundbass]

Boy do you ever have a decision to make. It sounds like a win win either way from the outside looking in. The best of luck to you no matter what decision you make. You are one helluva coach so I think you know the right decision. 

[roadwarrior]

Seems like a great opportunity to me.

[Mike L]

The best decision is the one your heart tell’s you it is. 

 

Best of everything which ever way you go. 
 

 

 

 

Mike

[Jig Man]

When I was in teaching I changed jobs 6 times.  I never wanted to go back to one that I had left.

[GTN-NY]

I think it’s great but….

you definitely won’t see your girls play with the new job

[jbsoonerfan]

1 minute ago, GTN-NY said:

I think it’s great but….

you definitely won’t see your girls play with the new job

They will be going with me.

 

Sorry, I should have mentioned that.

[GTN-NY]

2 minutes ago, jbsoonerfan said:

They will be going with me.

 

Sorry, I should have mentioned that.

Ok that’s even better. Take the job and enjoy it?

[nick76]

Not exactly sure how your school runs, but as a former school board member...the only employee that I had to make a decision on was my superintendent.  That isn't to say that we didn't rubber stamp approvals for such things as teachers, support staff or even coaches.  If a superintendent is truly doing his or her job, they do all the hiring of the district employees.  Part of the process to hire is interviewing and selection of the best candidate.  The board merely signs off on the hire as a formality if they trust their employee to do their job. 

 

Good teachers and good coaches are in high demand for many districts.  It is definitely an employee's market when it comes to good jobs.  I would do some research on the administration at the new school and make sure you are a fit with them.  It shouldn't be too hard to find out.  If it is, then make the move and enjoy the future with your girls! 

[jbsoonerfan]

That's kind of what baffles me about this. I had a principal and an athletic director ready to hire me on the spot today and my superintendent acts like it's a board issue. If I'm being honest, I have a feeling it's the head HS coach that doesn't want help because I probably know more about the game than he does. Lol

[A-Jay]

2 hours ago, jbsoonerfan said:

That's kind of what baffles me about this. I had a principal and an athletic director ready to hire me on the spot today and my superintendent acts like it's a board issue. If I'm being honest, I have a feeling it's the head HS coach that doesn't want help because I probably know more about the game than he does. Lol

Three things came to mind right off ~ 

First perhaps consider meeting the head coach if you haven't already.

Might answer a few things.

Second, ask for more money; regardless of what they are offering. 

You have leverage apparently.

Third - Adding a 'Quick decision' to the offer is concerning.

Perhaps there's 'something you don't know', but should.

Too much at stake to make a snap decision.

Good Luck

A-Jay

 

[jbsoonerfan]

Holy cow! It's only been 8 hours since I posted this, My stress/anxiety level is through the roof right now. I don't know if I will sleep all weekend. I want to stay "home". I don't want to take my girls away from their friends. I don't want to leave the school that I have spent 29 years at (13 learning, 16 teaching) However, I know this new opportunity is probably better for us in the long run. It's just the short term that might get us. I told me wife it isn't worth it if the girls aren't happy, regardless of what my roll is in their sports career. In my opinion, being happy is 99% of what life is about. 

[padlin]

Personally, I'd want to talk to the girls and the new schools head coach, if either don't want you there you could be miserable.

 

I don't understand the need to have an answer by Monday.

[Mike L]

5 hours ago, jbsoonerfan said:

I told me wife it isn't worth it if the girls aren't happy, regardless of what my roll is in their sports career. In my opinion, being happy is 99% of what life is about. 

That’s your heart talking to you. 
 

 

 

 

Mike

[Dwight Hottle]

Sit down with your wife & girls & let the family help decide. 

[BigAngus752]

6 hours ago, jbsoonerfan said:

Holy cow! It's only been 8 hours since I posted this, My stress/anxiety level is through the roof right now. I don't know if I will sleep all weekend. I want to stay "home". I don't want to take my girls away from their friends. I don't want to leave the school that I have spent 29 years at (13 learning, 16 teaching) However, I know this new opportunity is probably better for us in the long run. It's just the short term that might get us. I told me wife it isn't worth it if the girls aren't happy, regardless of what my roll is in their sports career. In my opinion, being happy is 99% of what life is about. 

We ALL have a tendency to "stay put" rather than venture out.  It's a feeling of comfortability and nostalgia.  Those are cozy feelings but sometimes they can keep you from better things.  Ask your kids?!  Of course they are going to stick with what they know right now!!! They're kids.  It's ALL THAT THEY KNOW.  

 

It's not wrong for you to stay put.  If that is what makes you happy then you should stay.  If you decide to go you certainly aren't "taking your kids away" from anything.  You are teaching them a valuable lesson about exploring the world and life in general.  You can view this as "moving the kids away from their friends" or you can view this as "giving the kids opportunities they would have never had".  

 

You're in a spot right now.  I have been there several times and I completely understand your pain.  The problem is that neither choice is wrong.  One is better than the other.  I can't tell you which.  One is easy and complacent.  One is scary.  What kind of a person are you?  Are you a "I can't adapt, the past is always better" person?  Or a "what if I had done that" person?  This isn't about the job.  It's about you.  

 

I know me.  I'd be gone in a heartbeat to better opportunity and, more importantly, to someplace that actually appreciates my work.  But that's me.  You need to be you.  

 

Here's the most important thing:  YOU CAN'T BE WRONG.  There's no wrong here.  You aren't picking between ice cream and broccoli, you're just deciding which flavor ice cream.  There's no wrong ice cream, brother.  

[Tennessee Boy]

The bait monkey says keep it simple, go where the money is.

 

[Sam]

Whatever your heart tells you to do is the right decision.

[nick76]

On 5/13/2022 at 7:02 PM, jbsoonerfan said:

That's kind of what baffles me about this. I had a principal and an athletic director ready to hire me on the spot today and my superintendent acts like it's a board issue. If I'm being honest, I have a feeling it's the head HS coach that doesn't want help because I probably know more about the game than he does. Lol

 

Sounds like an administrator who is trying to be friends with everyone either because they can't do their job or they don't like conflict.  Either way it puts you in a bad spot. 

 

Your doing the right thing involving the girls, but ultimately you are in this for the long haul so you need to look at what else you aren't being supported in.  Moving on is difficult, but so is staying put and feeling like you are being used to your full potential.  Comfort doesn't equal success, growth means leaving what you already know behind. 

 

Best of luck to you!

[slonezp]

Nothing ventured nothing gained.

2 years go I was offered a store to run, on my own, from my employer. At that point in time I was a salaried employee with almost zero responsibility and I would have had to royally screw up to lose my job. A cush job I could skate along the rest of my life making a decent living with minimal stress. The store they offered me was underperforming and sales had been stagnant for 5 years. I asked "If I can't turn it around, what happens then?" Their answer was "Then we chose the wrong person for the job" I had my concerns. I could keep my zero responsibility position and possibly get a cost of living wage increase annually or, go on commission with the sky being the limit for wages. I'm in my mid 50's and physically disabled. Not a huge job market out there for me.

I mulled things around for a week and accepted the position.

It's now 2 years later. My first full fiscal year in the midst of covid lockdowns, I increased sales 60%. They are now giving me an employee because I'm having difficulty handling the increased volume on my own. 

My employer saw potential in me that I didn't see in myself.

 

Weigh everything out and follow the advice that @Dwight Hottle gave you

[Bankbeater]

I would contact the new HS and flat out ask them why they need an answer so fast.  My question to your current school would be if the other JH head coaches are going to be HS asst coaches?  If they are and they are refusing you the same opportunity then like you say it could be a case of politics.  If that is the case I would go with the new school.

[BrianMDTX]

Flip a coin. It’s really that simple. Flip a coin. 
 

No matter if it’s heads or tails, if you are happy with the flip, it’s the right decision. If you need two out of three, you know it’s not. 

[BassNJake]

On 5/14/2022 at 1:40 AM, jbsoonerfan said:

Holy cow! It's only been 8 hours since I posted this, My stress/anxiety level is through the roof right now. I don't know if I will sleep all weekend. I want to stay "home". I don't want to take my girls away from their friends. I don't want to leave the school that I have spent 29 years at (13 learning, 16 teaching) However, I know this new opportunity is probably better for us in the long run. It's just the short term that might get us. I told me wife it isn't worth it if the girls aren't happy, regardless of what my roll is in their sports career. In my opinion, being happy is 99% of what life is about. 

I'm the debby downer type, I guess.

 

I couldn't take my kids away from their friends.

some kids dont ever get over moving at that age.

[12poundbass]

9 hours ago, BassNJake said:

I'm the debby downer type, I guess.

 

I couldn't take my kids away from their friends.

some kids dont ever get over moving at that age.

I’m the same way and was when we pulled our son from private school three weeks into this school year. He wanted to and my wife did too but I didn’t. I was a nervous wreck for him but he absolutely loved it and made friends really quick. He’s actually grown from the change. The OP did say it’s only ten minutes away so his kids would still have their friends just not see them every day at school. They’re big into sports too so I’m assuming they probably know kids from the potential new school which was the case with our son. 

[jbsoonerfan]

Long story, it's been a long weekend......

 

We are staying where I KNOW my girls are happy.

 

I might explain in more detail later, just know this was not easy for me.