Generational fishing

[gim]

I fish with my Father frequently between April - September.  We primarily bass fish, but also do a little muskie  or walleye fishing together.  In the spring, before bass season opens, we crappie fish a couple times.  I also deer and pheasant hunt a couple times with him, and I'm grateful for those opportunities.

 

I crappie fished with him in a contest on Saturday.  A point of contention between us has always been his viewpoint on harvesting certain species of fish and my desire to release them.  Realize that he is from a generation where catch and release was not really a thing.  People literally fished for food, not for sport.  When we bass fish, he doesn't keep them, and never has.  However, when we crappie fish or walleye fish, his tune changes significantly.  I told him ahead of time on Saturday that we were not going for a limit of crappies because it was a contest and we are trying to win a contest (which is one fish by weight).  Well sure enough he started catching sizable crappies and he'd toss them in my livewell.  Then I caught a couple.  I released mine.  He almost blew a fuse when he saw me release a nice plump 11.5 incher.  "I would like to eat those you know."  I replied "Then you can catch them."  That made it even worse.  We argued back and forth about keeping these fish for the next 10 minutes, all while we were catching them at a quick rate.  He finally got to his limit of 10 in the livewell and then just stopped keeping any.  I could tell that most of the crappies he kept were full of spawn too.  It made me sick to my stomach.  I know he wouldn't keep an obvious prespawn walleye, but he doesn't care about keeping a bunch of prespawn crappies.

 

So on Tuesday he's planning to take his own boat with my Mother to the spot I scouted prior to the contest and I'm sure they'll be going home with another 20 fish limit of prespawn crappies.  I'm ticked about this.  I did the legwork to find that spot for the contest and I told him we were in this to try and win the contest.  Yet he loaded up the livewell with his limit of slabs, and intends to go back there again on Tuesday to do it again.

 

What would you do?  I haven't said anything to him or my Mother about this and right now I'm leaning towards just forgetting about it.  I feel like it just isn't worth making a big deal about it, but it definitely bothers me.  Ever taken someone to a good spot you've found, only to see them exploit it?  I've taken him to new spots bass fishing and he'll go back there on his own and catch some, but he doesn't harvest the bass.  This is way different when I know he's only doing it to fill his livewell.

[DaubsNU1]

My Dad is 81, and doesn't hunt any more...shoulder replacement surgery means he can no longer get a shotgun up to shooting position. Sad, because we chased waterfowl, turkeys, upland...it was a huge part of how we connected as a family. 

 

Brother and I are taking him to South Dakota to chase Smallies here in June. Last week he stumbled making his bed, and fell...tore his hamstring and has been in the hospital since last Thursday. 

 

He's getting up there and I fear his days fishing are numbered. 

 

I understand you and your Dad see things differently. There are sure things my Dad and I don't see eye-to-eye on. 

 

My suggestion: let him fish the way he wants to fish...and enjoy the time you have to spend together. 

 

 

 

[Jigfishn10]

Wish I had advice for ya buddy, but that one's a bit of a sticky wicket. Always tough when there's a generational thing going on. If it's anything like my dad and I, we usually find medium ground. Hope it works out for ya.

[GreenPig]

You're getting upset about your Mother and Father keeping a couple legal limits of Crappie? I maybe misunderstanding you, but if they're eating them, I'd pick a different fight. 

[DitchPanda]

 Have I ever shown somebody a spot and have them exploit it? Sure...before. Now days I only share certain info with certain people for that very reason. My buddy Brian who just got into bass fishing last year has been fishing with me a ton and picks my brain daily. So what he is trying to accomplish by this is shorten the curve for himself by gaining on the water lessons and knowledge I've gained thru 20+ years of bass fishing. I'm fine with this because A) he won't harvest the bass unless he deep hooks one   he won't go telling every Tom, Dick and Harry what and where we are doing our damage on.

 Back to the question of what to do about your dad? That's a tough one bud. Obviously you want to keep your relationship with your Dad solid and to your point it may not be worth it to make a big deal out of it. On the other hand you found this magic spot, told him what your intentions were, after that he went against what you asked and then turned it into an argument although your "rules" were agreed upon before hand. If it was me I'd bring it up, if you don't its gonna eat at you and come to a head. If he doesn't respond well, that's unfortunate, but also as long as your respectful then its on him.

 My dad and I had an argument like this one time years ago on my local body of water. So I got on a really solid largemouth bite and of course I shared it with him. He asked if we should keep some and I said absolutely not. He got pissy and said well its legal so ill keep what I want. I said yeah that's fine but ill never share spots with you anymore and we won't fish together. Put a stop to it immediately. I'm not anti harvest but these were pres pawn egg filled bass and honestly I don't like bass that much, on top of that bluegill and crappier were biting same time so in my mind no reason to kill spawn size bass. He saw how important it was to me to protect these big fish on the small watershed we fished and realized it wasn't worth it.

[gim]

21 minutes ago, GreenPig said:

You're getting upset about your Mother and Father keeping a couple legal limits of Crappie? I maybe misunderstanding you, but if they're eating them, I'd pick a different fight. 

You're completely missing the point.  Re-read my original post.  I found this spot, it was my boat, we had an agreement ahead of time, and now he's intending to exploit it.

[MN Fisher]

49 minutes ago, gimruis said:

So on Tuesday he's planning to take his own boat with my Mother to the spot I scouted prior to the contest and I'm sure they'll be going home with another 20 fish limit of prespawn crappies. 

Note - the limit is actually 10 for in-state waters (Minnetonka for example)

2022 Regs page 22

Also, Legally he can only have 10 crappie in his possession...that's livewell PLUS freezer.

2022 Regs page 12

[gim]

7 minutes ago, MN Fisher said:

Note - the limit is actually 10 for in-state waters

He already ate the fish he kept on Saturday.  And tomorrow he'll have my Mother with so they can legally take 20 which I'm sure they will do.  I'm not worried about him following the law.  Its the ethical/moral issue that's at hand here.

[MN Fisher]

Just now, gimruis said:

He already ate the fish he kept on Saturday.  And tomorrow he'll have my Mother with so they can legally take 20 which I'm sure they will do.

Long as he stays on the straight and narrow - then he's fine no matter what your squick is. Continuous season, so taking egg-laden crappie is legal.

[gim]

Thanks for the detailed, thought-out response @DitchPanda.

[GaryH]

1 hour ago, gimruis said:

 

What would you do?  I haven't said anything to him or my Mother about this and right now I'm leaning towards just forgetting about it.  I feel like it just isn't worth making a big deal about it, but it definitely bothers me.  

I hear where your coming from bud, but as someone who also hunted with his father I’d give the world to be able to fish, hunt or argue with him again. I’d definitely just keep it inside. In the long run you guys will be better off. 

[roadwarrior]

1 hour ago, DaubsNU1 said:

My suggestion: let him fish the way he wants to fish...and enjoy the time you have to spend together. 

 

 

 

                                        

[DitchPanda]

19 minutes ago, gimruis said:

Thanks for the detailed, thought-out response @DitchPanda.

No problem buddy...hope the different perspective is helpful. Good luck in however you decide to go.

[BrianMDTX]

All I can say is that my dad passed away in 2019. I’d love to be able to have this difference of opinion with him. But I can’t. 
 

May that guide you. 

[A-Jay]

Someday you'll look back at this as the good times.

Perhaps consider lengthening them.

You probably knew where this would lead in advance.

And there it is.

You may be more of a chip off the old block than you realize. To answer your  question, what would I do ?

Understand and respect the man.

He's earned it.

A-Jay

 

[Dwight Hottle]

I understand your frustration but it all boils down to he is still your father. As people age they they become less flexible in their thinking based on their knowledge & experiences. That's normal. When you come to an impasse with him you just have to swallow your pride & let it pass. It will make more sense to you when he is gone. I didn't always agree with my father but I always respected him & yielded when necessary. 

[N Florida Mike]

This^^^^
 

I wish I could fish with my dad again. The relationship is more important than the issue. IMHO.

[gim]

17 hours ago, Dwight Hottle said:

When you come to an impasse with him you just have to swallow your pride & let it pass.

After sleeping on it, I've decided to just leave it alone.  I told my wife about it and she said it's a rotten move on his part but its not worth making it a bigger problem than it was at the time.  Needless to say I won't be taking him to any of my crappie spots in the future though.  I'll be sticking to bass fishing with him since I know he doesn't intend to ever start filling his livewell with those.

[Deephaven]

20 hours ago, gimruis said:

You're completely missing the point.  Re-read my original post.  I found this spot, it was my boat, we had an agreement ahead of time, and now he's intending to exploit it.

If you bring it up (I see that you said you aren't going to) I would bring up the fact you had an agreement and he didn't keep it.  That is really the problem.  The fact that he kept the fish is the trigger that put the agreement at risk.  Had you not agreed you'd have no beef.  So don't focus on the fish, but the pre-fishing discussion and the change in action.

 

And next year if you want a partner that won't keep the fish...I live on Tonka and can block the time. 

 

[Choporoz]

I'd be interested in hearing his interpretation the 'agreement'.  I'm guessing this is more communication problem than anything....compounded by the philosophical differences in opinions about harvesting fish.  

[newriverfisherman1953]

Forget it and wish him and your mom well. There can be enough problems in a family. Don’t make this one. 

[slonezp]

My pushback on my dad is "I have enough fish in the freezer" or "We can keep 10 panfish because I don't want to spend hours cleaning them." That being said, he's 82 and whatever time we have to spend together is a Godsend. Were I in your shoes, I would pick a different battle. I'm headed to Erie tomorrow with dad, my son and my cousin to meat fish for 2 days. Limit is 6 per man per day. If I have to fillet walleye until my arms fall off, I will.  

[TnRiver46]

50 minutes ago, slonezp said:

My pushback on my dad is "I have enough fish in the freezer" or "We can keep 10 panfish because I don't want to spend hours cleaning them." That being said, he's 82 and whatever time we have to spend together is a Godsend. Were I in your shoes, I would pick a different battle. I'm headed to Erie tomorrow with dad, my son and my cousin to meat fish for 2 days. Limit is 6 per man per day. If I have to fillet walleye until my arms fall off, I will.  

24 walleye? I could have them cleaned and rinsed in nice little chunks in under 1.5 hours. Your arms will still be attached 

[slonezp]

1 minute ago, TnRiver46 said:

24 walleye? I could have them cleaned and rinsed in nice little chunks in under 1.5 hours. Your arms will still be attached 

2 days of fishing is 48

Larger fish are much easier to fillet than panfish. Crappies, gills, and perch, I'm good for about 10 an hour. This is by hand, boneless, with a Rapala fillet knife. For larger fish, I'll use the electric fillet knife. 

[TnRiver46]

Just now, slonezp said:

2 days of fishing is 48

Larger fish are much easier to fillet than panfish. Crappies, gills, and perch, I'm good for about 10 an hour. This is by hand, boneless, with a Rapala fillet knife. For larger fish, I'll use the electric fillet knife. 

I heard that! Cleaning panfish is for the birds, makes you want to just eat them whole like a blue heron. I don’t own an electric knife but I have used them, definitely helpful for speed on big fish. But then again I’ve seen guides in salt water from Alaska to FLA clean massive fish with a regular knife, looked like it should have required a chainsaw