Does anyone else struggle with depression?

[Luke Barnes]

At 19 I joined the US Army and one month and one day after I turned 21 I was on a plane bound for Iraq. Spent a year over there, came home for a year and a half then right back over for 15 more months. When I got out in 2010 I resisted going to the VA for years and finally went after my family begged me to. I was diagnosed with PTSD and clinical depression. Medication helps but is in no way a cure all. 

 

On point, it has really effected my interest in things I normally enjoy. I used to love riding motorcycles. I used to have a dirt bike and a Harley but could not force myself to get on them anymore. Same goes for guitar. Played for 20 years and I just cant get myself to play. So like the bikes I sold them all off but kept one crappy guitar just in case I wanted to play. 

 

This has now reared its ugly head with fishing. I havent been in a month and a half and if given the chance to go I dont know that I would. Ive been dealing with a pretty bad bout of depression lately and am more worried about getting skunked and being more frustrated than before I went fishing. I worry and stress that I suck at bass fishing and wont catch anything so might as well not go. I don't have any other hobbies besides fishing anymore, but its gotten more frustrating than fun and relaxing so I started a thread asking about used values of rods and reels because I know this isn't going to pass very soon and it literally gives me anxiety looking at them and not using them, or even wanting to use them. Im trying my hardest to not give up on fishing for bass but its not been easy. I could still fish with my cheap beginner gear that I hung on to.  Who needs an aluminum frame and 10 bearings to catch a skunk? 

 

Ive also been accused of being whiny on here and maybe this will explain why ive been like that. Because there is a constant dialogue in my head that I should just give up because I cant catch bass consistently anyways, so might as well just use nightcrawlers under a bobber, if I ever even go. 

 

Has anyone else dealt with this and what helped you to push through? 

[Jmilburn76]

I don't suffer from depression but do have some PTSD and anger issues from a traumatic brain injury almost a year ago that caused a stroke.  The meds they put me on didn't help me so I quit taking them. Thus far the best thing that has helped is going to the gym and continuing to kayak fish as much as I can. To me there is just something therapeutic about being in nature and leaving all the stresses of life behind.

 

I highly suggest you look into Heroes on the Water, what they do for Veterans is great. It looks like you are from Tulsa, a quick search shows a Northeastern Oklahoma chapter. They have a FB page if you want to look into it.  Thank you for your service!  I truly hope you are better soon and find hapiness in life.

[GTN-NY]

I guess I’ve suffered from a little depression for a long time but it really kicked in when my son who also suffered from depression,drugs,alcohol murdered his girlfriend 4yrs ago and is in max prison for the rest of my life. Then my best friend that I was in some sort of daily contact with died coming up on 2 yrs ago. 
I started drinking to much, not going anywhere or doing anything. Last year I went fishing 3 times. Last Nov I decided that was enough. I pretty much quit drinking. Only have a drink when I’m out with people. 
Life is better. I can still go down that rabbit hole but at least I can see it now so it doesn’t last long. 
 

Find something little to do that makes you happy and gives you a little self worth. I started helping a friend rehab a old house. I go work when I want on no schedule 

 

Good luck!

[Luke Barnes]

5 hours ago, GTN-NY said:

I guess I’ve suffered from a little depression for a long time but it really kicked in when my son who also suffered from depression,drugs,alcohol murdered his girlfriend 4yrs ago and is in max prison for the rest of my life. Then my best friend that I was in some sort of daily contact with died coming up on 2 yrs ago. 
I started drinking to much, not going anywhere or doing anything. Last year I went fishing 3 times. Last Nov I decided that was enough. I pretty much quit drinking. Only have a drink when I’m out with people. 
Life is better. I can still go down that rabbit hole but at least I can see it now so it doesn’t last long. 
 

Find something little to do that makes you happy and gives you a little self worth. I started helping a friend rehab a old house. I go work when I want on no schedule 

 

Good luck!

I'm glad that you are on the way up and doing better. One of the best decisions I have ever made in my life was quitting drinking all together. I can't just drink with friends or have just one or two. So I dont drink all and that's fine with me. It has helped me for sure and bouts with depression are much fewer and farther between than when I was on the sauce. 

 

Thank you for sharing your story with me. 

[DitchPanda]

Was gonna say the only times I've had depression is when I was drinking too much...knocked that crap off and I've done better ever since. When I'm feeling bummed, run down or stressed I go fishing...I'm sorry to hear your struggling with that right now. Hope you can find some relief.

[TnRiver46]

I seek help spiritually when I’m in a rut 

[GTN-NY]

Oh one other thing Luke that I started doing was exercising. It’s something I’ve never really done much of but now that I’m older and getting weaker. 
When I started noticing weight loss and my wife said I was looking better it made me feel better about myself

[throttleplate]

Talk to the psychiatrist about Paroxetine, its strong anti depressant and helped me out. When i got out of the military i found i was lost and really missed all the commaradarie of it.

 

Talking to a shrink never did a d**n thing for me but made me feel more helpless with all the bs they say to you.

 

The meds allowed my brain to recalibrate. I then picked my own self up off the ground and got back into the saddle. No person is going to hold your hand and make it better, only you can do that.

 

No one understands serious deep suicide type of depression unless they actually suffered with it for a good period of time.

[Dirtyeggroll]

Who are the people who you spend your time with? What do you do with them? How much time are you spending with them?

 

Struggles that are tangible or intangible are much smaller when shared with friends.

[Chris Catignani]

Dont hang up the rods just yet. Fishing is not always about catching. It about unwinding and doing a little repair work on the head. When the bite is not on...I always look for new water to fish. Im always amazed on how the time flies by...even not catching much. 

[GTN-NY]

During my bad time of depression I just didn’t care or want to go fishing. I sold 10 3700 boxes of tackle for $125. 
Very next spring I decided I wanted to start again so I had to replace everything all over again. 
So unless you need the money for something important don’t sell it yet

[DaubsNU1]

Hang in there @Luke Barnes! 

 

Every consider a counselor / therapist? 

 

I went through rough divorce 13 years ago...we had been married 18 years and had two daughters (ages 12-10). I got custody of the kiddos. Got the daughters a good family counselor, and I found a great counselor for me. My parents, sister & brother, and good friends were there for me. Huge help just talking through things.

[hokiehunter373]

Hey, man, sorry to hear you're going through this.  I haven't gone through depression but I've dealt with the frustration of feeling like your sucking at something and that making that passion unenjoyable.  I've minorly dealt with it with hunting.  Wanting to succeed so bad and having such little time to do it that you're not enjoying the totality of it while you're doing it.  Luckily my wife drove it home to me last year that I've always liked just being outside, being in nature, watching critters be critters, not just the success at the end of the hunt.  I started making sure that while I was hunting I was soaking those things in again and enjoying being outside in nice weather watching the sun rise or set and not concentrating on a "failed" hunt.  It wasn't.  I've done the same with fishing.  No one wants to get skunked but man we're getting to be outside doing what we like and it sure as heck beats some alternatives. 

 

You ever think about not worrying about bass?  Take out a tiny spinner or a little hook with some worms and a bobber.  Try to catch some sunnys.  Or take some of your more stout poles and see if you can hook into some catfish.  Those things can probably be a bit more relaxing than trying to catch your PB bass and hopefully you won't have to worry about the skunk that way.  Enjoy nature while you're doing it.  Maybe you'll catch some bass as bycatch and get the fire back.  I hope you can find some joy in your passions again.  Let us all know if there's any way we can help!

[Luke Barnes]

4 hours ago, DaubsNU1 said:

Hang in there @Luke Barnes! 

 

Every consider a counselor / therapist? 

 

I went through rough divorce 13 years ago...we had been married 18 years and had two daughters (ages 12-10). I got custody of the kiddos. Got the daughters a good family counselor, and I found a great counselor for me. My parents, sister & brother, and good friends were there for me. Huge help just talking through things.

I have one I see regularly through the VA and actually have a session tomorrow. It does help alot but no one thing is a cure all for everyone. 

3 hours ago, hokiehunter373 said:

Hey, man, sorry to hear you're going through this.  I haven't gone through depression but I've dealt with the frustration of feeling like your sucking at something and that making that passion unenjoyable.  I've minorly dealt with it with hunting.  Wanting to succeed so bad and having such little time to do it that you're not enjoying the totality of it while you're doing it.  Luckily my wife drove it home to me last year that I've always liked just being outside, being in nature, watching critters be critters, not just the success at the end of the hunt.  I started making sure that while I was hunting I was soaking those things in again and enjoying being outside in nice weather watching the sun rise or set and not concentrating on a "failed" hunt.  It wasn't.  I've done the same with fishing.  No one wants to get skunked but man we're getting to be outside doing what we like and it sure as heck beats some alternatives. 

 

You ever think about not worrying about bass?  Take out a tiny spinner or a little hook with some worms and a bobber.  Try to catch some sunnys.  Or take some of your more stout poles and see if you can hook into some catfish.  Those things can probably be a bit more relaxing than trying to catch your PB bass and hopefully you won't have to worry about the skunk that way.  Enjoy nature while you're doing it.  Maybe you'll catch some bass as bycatch and get the fire back.  I hope you can find some joy in your passions again.  Let us all know if there's any way we can help!

Ive really really been thinking about this. I have a 4'8 UL for sunfish and two spinning setups already tied up to fish for cats. The reason I don't just do that is I have such limited times i can fish, I want to fish for bass when I do get to go. But that is getting frustrating to the point I don't want to do it. So I just don't fish and I don't like it. 

16 hours ago, Dirtyeggroll said:

Who are the people who you spend your time with? What do you do with them? How much time are you spending with them?

 

Struggles that are tangible or intangible are much smaller when shared with friends.

I spend my time with my wife, three kids, and 40 hours a week, co workers. Outside of that I don't hang out with anyone or talk with anyone besides you all on here. My wife has her own things and I dont want my kids to ever have to deal with my burden so I keep them sheltered from it. 

[hokiehunter373]

33 minutes ago, Luke Barnes said:

Ive really really been thinking about this. I have a 4'8 UL for sunfish and two spinning setups already tied up to fish for cats. The reason I don't just do that is I have such limited times i can fish, I want to fish for bass when I do get to go. But that is getting frustrating to the point I don't want to do it. So I just don't fish and I don't like it.  

 

Completely understand.  Just about the only time I get to fish is after the kids go to bed unless it's the weekend and I can get out with them.  I try to run out even if it's only 30 mins every other night.  But it sounds like bass fishing has been frustrating but you still want to fish so you might as well give that UL a try and enjoy those little buggers fighting you

 

36 minutes ago, Luke Barnes said:

I spend my time with my wife, three kids, and 40 hours a week, co workers. Outside of that I don't hang out with anyone or talk with anyone besides you all on here. My wife has her own things and I dont want my kids to ever have to deal with my burden so I keep them sheltered from it. 

 

How old are your kids? I get the burden thing but it's ok for them to see dad having a tough time.  It'll let them know that your human and it will also let them know that it's ok for everyone to have tough times.  We all do and it's fine to feel what we're feeling and find a healthy way to deal with whatever that feeling is.  If you're just bottling it up and feeling how you are your kids can probably sense that anyway but have no idea why.  If they're old enough, it'd probably be beneficial for them to understand.  Sorry to sound all counselor-ish, not my intent, I just feel like kids feel our mood changes even if we don't verbalize it so you might as well.

[BassNJake]

I love being out on the water.

Catching fish is a big plus, but I enjoy all the other aspects of nature too.

The miracle in the cycle of life.

Right now everything is blooming , the birds are out, bass are on their beds, the carp, the gar and the shad are all spawning now. Even the stupid Mosquitoes are out and hangry

 

I'm always picking up trash on the lake. I leave every trip with a bag of garbage.

I go 3-4 times a week. I used to be all ticked off about what all ready happened.

some/many idiots littering, instead of focusing on the now.

How good it looks once I've picked it up.

 

I've got some anger issues I've been working on.

My wife had advised me to try and think of the things I am grateful for in those moments.

It's been a great tool.

Thinking of my kids holding me down trying to tickle me usually snaps me out of anything.

[Columbia Craw]

First of all Luke, you are not alone.  PTSD is very real but it impacts each person in it’s own painful way differently. I deal with it in my own way but not alone.

 

The fact you recognize it is huge.  There is a very real cause or causes as to why you feel the way you do.  The hardest thing to face is the stigma of depression.  I encourage you to find a qualified mental health professional that you trust.  It’s okay to be treated with medications because your body may not be chemically balanced.  It’s not your fault. It’s biology.
 

And give yourself permission to understand you’re in a different kind of battle and talk about it.  It’s hard buddy. Very hard but don’t close up and isolate.  Reach outward, grab ahold of relationships with people you trust and love you.  If you have suffered loss, mourn. It’s not a sign of weakness but strength. It took me some time to realize everything I need to see the good and healthy part of my life is right in front of me.  I’ll be thinking of you.

[cyclops2]

 I was very depressed with a heart blockage condition. So I did a American Indian Will Myself  to Die.   That night. Thankfully the strapped on alarm worked.

 

 As I am here to bug others.   ?