Time balance. Spouse and fishing.

[Darth-Baiter]

You all that have fishing wives/husbands -“oh good for you!”   This discussion really isn’t for you.

 

this is for the married folks that still enjoy time spent with spouse.  
 

next week fishing should be awesome.  I’m tapping out and planning a long weekend camping trip with my wife to recharge our nuptial commitments.  Fun!  I did get that quick grimace when I thought I could fish the long weekend.  (If I’m being honest).  I will sneak in some surf casting since we are camping on a remote beach. 
 

gah.  Why is the best camping the same time as great fishing and spring turkey?   What cruel timing. Hehe. I wonder how long flowers with last at the campsite?
 

 

[EWREX]

my wife understands that fishing is my favorite hobby and that i do commit a lot of my own free time away from work to the sport of fishing. i also realize that i need to commit my own free time away from work to her needs and wants too. we have our first child on the way and due in august.. so i am going to fish as many tournaments as i can before that (and after) without getting scolded lol. we do our best to balance all of those things together. sometimes it causes a bump in the road for sure, but relationships are all about compromise!

[Choporoz]

If not a fishing partner, I think one of two paths can be beneficial.   One is if spouse gets into a complementary hobby....could be photography...maybe hiking....even camping I'd think.   Another way is a hobby that doesn't intersect at all, but takes similar time blocks to go do alone or with others.

  I all but quit fishing during my first marriage....it sucked.  Wife now truly understands that I need time to fish and is very very supportive....to the point of insisting I go sometimes...lol

[gim]

2 minutes ago, EWREX said:

we have our first child on the way and due in august.. so i am going to fish as many tournaments as i can before that

One bad decision here and one good one.  Good luck with all that lol

[InfantryMP]

2 minutes ago, Choporoz said:

If not a fishing partner, I think one of two paths can be beneficial.   One is if spouse gets into a complementary hobby....could be photography...maybe hiking....even camping I'd think.   Another way is a hobby that doesn't intersect at all, but takes similar time blocks to go do alone or with others.

  I all but quit fishing during my first marriage....it sucked.  Wife now truly understands that I need time to fish and is very very supportive....to the point of insisting I go sometimes...lol

 

Similar position here. My Ex-wife thought fishing was dumb (unless we were on a boat on the ocean). Never got to do it. Now, my wife and I fish together a lot. She also understands that the tournaments are something for me to do for fun and competition. 

 

I think it is healthy to be able to do a hobby by yourself without your spouse too, sometimes a little space to do things is not a bad idea. I think my wife would hate to come to a tournament I am fishing and be in the boat all day. 

[EWREX]

3 minutes ago, gimruis said:

One bad decision here and one good one.  Good luck with all that lol

she's on board with it. one day out of the whole week is fine and we constantly encourage eachother to spend time doing things with friends etc. i am a very lucky man!

[king fisher]

As long as I promise to never again have her run down the street holding a Lure  while I check my drag she’s OK with my fishing

[A-Jay]

That can be a bit of a delicate balance.

Like so much of it, I'll say honest communication might be key.

I'm fortunate to be in a good place as far as that's concerned.

And when the weather's decent & my wife's up for it,

she'll wet a line with me.

#netman

A-Jay

 

[Bluebasser86]

I just talk to mine, tell her to be honest. If she doesn't want me to go, I want her to tell me. I also want her to under that it's my stress relief and favorite pass time so if she doesn't have a reason for me not to go, I'm planning on going. 

[gim]

1 hour ago, EWREX said:

she's on board with it. one day out of the whole week is fine

I hear ya.  My wife is pretty tolerant of my fishing and hunting adventures too just as long as the required weekly items get done too.  We had a serious discussion before we got married about it and we agreed that we were both going to continue to do the things we enjoyed after marriage.  Kids...well now that's a different story.

 

Before my Grandfather died of cancer in 2012 he told me that quality of life is measured by the amount of time you have to do what you enjoy doing.

[FishinBuck07]

My wife doesn't enjoy fishing, she will pick up a rod every once in a while but not much.  She does however love to be on the boat, she takes a book and snacks and just sits in the passenger seat and soaks up the sun.  Sorry bout your luck buddy!?

[MN Fisher]

Wife is actually pushing me to get the F-9 completed so I can get on the water.

 

Me being a full-time care-giver for her makes it difficult. Last couple years we had to schedule the day in advance and it was locked in. If the weather that day wasn't conducive for the canoe...I missed out.

 

With the F-9, it opens a whole new realm...not only in range, but also weather conditions I can fish in.

 

She's also working on getting some help in to maybe get me out on the water more/longer.

[Darth-Baiter]

Once a week is no problem.  Even twice.  Burning Friday to Sunday?   I get eyeballs 

[KSanford33]

Bear with me because this might get a bit wordy, but it's worth reading.

 

My wife and I have been together for 17 years. I've learned the most important thing is what I call 'the gap'. 

 

In boxing, if I'm too far away from my opponent, I can't reach him. But if I'm too close, my punches get smothered. So the key is to find that perfect distance where you can fully extend on your punches so they have the maximum effect. The same goes for relationships. I fish, play golf and hockey. It keeps me very busy. So I find that if I spend too much time away from my wife, she gets mad. But if I'm not doing any of these things (if I'm injured or whatever it is), then we're together too much and we watch Forensic Files trying to figure out the best ways to dispose of a body (kidding, of course).

 

So it's all about finding the right amount of time so you're happy doing your thing and she's happy with the amount of time you're spending together.

[MN Fisher]

2 minutes ago, KSanford33 said:

So it's all about finding the right amount of time so you're happy doing your thing and she's happy with the amount of time you're spending together.

Almost 32 years married here - and that's been our standard since day 1.

[KSanford33]

27 minutes ago, MN Fisher said:

Almost 32 years married here - and that's been our standard since day 1.

Congratulations sir! We're trying to catch up to you!

[Bankc]

Honesty and communication are the bedrock of any good relationship.  My wife hates fishing.  She's not too happy about me spending so much time fishing.  But she knows I need the break, and she's mostly supportive of it.  I try to support her too in her hobbies.  

 

I've had situations arise before where I wanted to fish on vacation.  But vacation is about spending time with your family.  And unless you can get the rest of your family excited about it, it's probably best to forgo the fishing, because vacation time is limited.  Last year when we went to San Diego, I had a lot of fishing plans in the back of my head.  But we never go bored enough for me to bring them up.  I read the room, and the room wasn't interested.  And I still had a great time.

 

A good life doesn't require doing what you enjoy.  It requires that you enjoy what you do.  

[EWREX]

5 minutes ago, Bankc said:

 

I've had situations arise before where I wanted to fish on vacation.  But vacation is about spending time with your family.  And unless you can get the rest of your family excited about it, it's probably best to forgo the fishing, because vacation time is limited. 

 

i ALMOST convinced my wife to go on a deep sea fishing excursion on our honeymoon. yeah that didn't happen  ?

[DinkDreams]

I’ve been married for 4 years, and picked up fishing about two years ago and fell in love with it. My wife understands that fishing is my way of “relaxing” and unwinding. She doesn’t have any interest in fishing, but will listen to me drone on about the intricacies. She has her own hobbies that she enjoys.

 

The biggest thing is really the biggest thing in any facet of a relationship, communication. If you can’t properly communicate your desire to fish and your partner can’t properly communicate their reasoning behind why they don’t want you to go, things tend to get messy in a hurry. So my best advice is to create an open dialog where if your partner has a problem with how much you’re fishing, talk about it. Be honest with yourself, are there important things that NEED to be done that you’re avoiding to go fish? 
 

Compromise is key, and part of being in a relationship is knowing that you aren’t going to get to do exactly what you want, when you want, as often as you want usually. That’s why you’re in a relationship, you support each other but also reel each other in sometimes when it’s needed.

 

Communicate.

[Stratocat_Joe]

My wife and I have an arrangement for the weekends.   Saturdays are our "family" days where we do what she wants to do.  Sundays are our "individual" days where I usually go fishing while she does her own thing.  Occasionally, I get lucky and she wants to go out on the boat for our "family" day, too!  But, in those instances, I have to limit the number of rods I take...mainly so I limit the chances that I have to try out the braid hook-removal trick on our 2-year old son!

[12poundbass]

I’ve got it made. The wife likes to fish and I’m not ashamed to say her PB is bigger than mine. In the warmer months it’s often our date night. 
 

My son fishes with me on Saturday and Sunday (when I’m not working). 

[throttleplate]

my wfe picks out her own lures and senko worm colors when at the tackle shop. She does this at times when wearing a spring-summer dress.

When i am not standing next to her some guys are surprised and ask her if she fishes and what her biggest fish was.

One guy even told her what lures to buy hehe, funny to witness this as i have been in their shoes before when i was single.

[gim]

On 3/24/2022 at 12:03 PM, Bankc said:

I've had situations arise before where I wanted to fish on vacation.

I spent my honeymoon at St Pete Beach, FL in 2015 and we went saltwater inshore fishing one day for snook, redfish, and sea trout.

[Deephaven]

1 hour ago, gimruis said:

I spent my honeymoon at St Pete Beach, FL in 2015 and we went saltwater inshore fishing one day for snook, redfish, and sea trout.

Taking my wife and kids to do the same next week.  Can't wait.  So done with hard water season.

[islandbass]

Come on, fellas. Who wear the pants? You or her?

 

Don’t be weak, limp, dish towels. Man up. 
 

If I want to go fishing, play golf, ride my bike, I tell my wife straight up — that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Period. Done deal. Take it to the bank…. ?‍♂️
 

 

 

 

 

 

Then I ask for permission, lol. Hot dog. 26 years next month. Unbelievable. She has no interest in any of my hobbies but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. She shocked me when she told me she wanted to start kayaking last year so that’s one outdoor thing we’re going to do together. And I don’t plan to fish on a kayak and ironically, I don’t want to.  She likes to hike, but I walk too slow… Seriously, so forget about that, lol.