Be kind, you never know

[jbsoonerfan]

I post this because I am 100% guilty of being rude or down right mean at times to people that I shouldn't have ever treated the way I did. I am mostly talking about people that work in restaurants, convivence stores, department stores, etc. I have found that I am very impatient and tend to lose my cool sometimes. Well, tonight I ordered some food from the local Sonic online and I went to pick it up. It had been 15 min since I ordered it and it still wasn't ready. A girl that worked there walked by and I asked her of she could check on my order because it had been a while. A few minutes later one of my former students brought me my food. He dropped out of school at 15 and never got his GED or anything. Instead of being rude I asked him how he had been and told him I was proud to see he was working and I always believed in him. He kind of choked up and said that no one has ever believed in him and he can still remember how well I treated him. 

 

Point being, it's a lot easier to be nice than it is to be an a-hole. I post this mainly so I can learn from it.

[GreenPig]

Excellent. I'm always nice until I'm forced to behave otherwise. I really don't like my other side,  it scares me.

[jbsoonerfan]

2 minutes ago, GreenPig said:

Excellent. I'm always nice until I'm forced to behave otherwise. I really don't like my other side,  it scares me.

Yep! I have been there too many times. I really want to think before I speak from now on.

[PhishLI]

1 hour ago, jbsoonerfan said:

Point being, it's a lot easier to be nice than it is to be an a-hole. I post this mainly so I can learn from it.

You're still kind of young. Learning never stops. Good for you that this came to you before you were 80.

 

Something else to think about if old habits die hard:

 

I worked in a machine shop after school and sports in Jr high. The guy across the street from us owned it and was a workaholic, so going until 8 or 9pm was always an option. All, and I mean all of my friends worked in restaurants or delis at that time. I left home at 15 and was able to convince the school admin to let me dump study halls, lunch, and a few electives on the condition I kept my regents classes and grades up. I needed the hours to work in order to pay for rent, food, etc.

 

I couldn't make enough at the machine shop with the hours I had for more than basic needs, so I got a job as a dishwasher at night at a very nice restaurant where some of my friends worked. Everyone started as a dishwasher before making it to busboy before making it to waiter.

 

Here's what I learned from my stint there: Never, ever, ever be rude to waiters, waitresses, or food servers. Never. What I've seen done to food by the cooks on behalf of a waiter or waitress that complained of rudeness by a customer cannot be repeated here. Once I knew about this stuff and talked about it with my friends who worked in delis the stories just flowed. You don't want to know. Truly.

 

Here's another tidbit.

 

Many years later I used to get breakfast at a deli near a job I had. Everyone wore gloves to make sandwiches, bagels, etc, except for one guy. Let's call him Rick. He had a nasty apron he'd wipe his hands on, then make sandwiches. I always avoided this guy by letting other people take my place in line, but this became expensive after a while. It was uncanny how many times it was my turn and I got this guy when there were usually 6-7 other people working . Finally, frustrated, I very politely asked him to come close and quietly asked him to please wear gloves to make my sandwich. He'd already picked up the roll though, then angrily flung it in the garbage. He nastily and loudly went through a progression of insincere apologies. "OK Sir, Yes sir". You get it. I didn't let him make my food and left. I was already late for an appointment and needed to keep my cool. A week later I stopped in for the first time since the gloves episode to grab something quick because I was starved. Smartly, I grabbed a pack of Yodels. When I got to the register that Rick and a few of the other guys were congregated behind the sliced meat counter. The register girl took the time to whisper to me to never ever order food there again. She said I was famous now.  Having been in the biz I knew exactly what she was saying, and they didn't see her tell me.

 

I'm Irish and didn't mind a good swing at all back then and said the type of things to him that would make any man step outside. You really can't say worse, but he wouldn't go. The next time I went in there he had a big black eye. I laughed in his face, so that was awesome for a crazier younger me. It's a good thing that I've grown past that type of thing. The long term consequences of such behavior could've been much worse than unknowingly eating a booger on rye sandwich for being testy.

[Jigfishn10]

Back in 2010 & 2011 I found myself with not a lot of construction work. For the first time in my adult life I saw no cranes in the city. Construction activities was pretty much dead. I worked at a gas station from 11 pm to 7 am a couple of weekend days a week and immediately went to a hardware store to work an 8 hour day. 

 

The pay at the time was $8 & $9 per hour respectively with no benefits. 

 

The behavior of people was really eye popping. Especially in a hardware store where most of the sales people are in HS or college just trying to make a few bucks. Most come in trying to do a DIY project/repair at home not knowing what they're doing and expecting instant answers to their repair project. Some of these kids used to break down in tears with the way they got treated.

 

I learned to hate working retail.

[Bluebasser86]

I always try being nice first, even to the people at work who may not deserve it. 

[gim]

When I was younger, I would lose my cool in certain situations.  I'd get aggressive and confrontations would arise because I lacked patience.

 

As I've gotten older, my patience has steadily increased.  My job has also taught me to be more diplomatic when dealing with problematic individuals.  On rare occasion I still bark at people, but only after they've initially started the barking, and I prefer to just ignore them or walk away.  I have done a lot of officiating for football, ice hockey, and as an umpire in baseball.  I dealt with my share of upset players and coaches which I believe also helped me with my "anger management."

 

I used to be very impatient at the boat ramp.  It would just irritate me to all hell when people took too long, weren't organized, or waffled while others were waiting.  Those days are long gone.  I refuse to get into an argument or lose my cool at the ramp anymore because all that did was ruin my day.  Now I just wait until its my turn and try to set an example to others with my efficiency and timeliness.

[Fishingmickey]

I found that the Marine Corps cured me of my "instant" temper. I realized that the best way to survive those years was just do the job. I've been in management now and when I feel that "rise" is to just step back mentally and keep it calm. 

FM

[volzfan59]

Great post! I too can go from zero to a full blown A*@ in a matter of seconds. I guess it's a holdover from my law enforcement career. I've been working to overcome this since retirement. So far I'm doing great, but a reminder such as this is helpful. Thank you @jbsoonerfan.

[TnRiver46]

Always remember the golden rule 

[MN Fisher]

22 minutes ago, TnRiver46 said:

Always remember the golden rule 

Which version?

https://www.nrm.org/wp2016/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Religions-research-sm.jpg

[TnRiver46]

Just now, MN Fisher said:

Which version?

https://www.nrm.org/wp2016/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Religions-research-sm.jpg

Any of those oughta work 

[12poundbass]

I truly feel everyone should do retail at some point in their lives, preferably at a young age. My first job was working the sales counter at our local lumberyard. You’ll develop patience and thick skin real quick trying to sell contractors lumber and hardware at age 15 when you have no clue what you’re doing. I’ve always been a patient person when it comes to other people (maybe except for when I’m driving but even then I just yell at my steering wheel ?). 
 

I always give people the benefit of the doubt and I always trust people until they give me a reason not to. It’s both worked in my favor and screwed me over, but that’s how I roll. I’ve carried this over to my management style. There’s only been one time I’ve yelled at an employee and he started in on me first and I bit my tongue so many times before. 

[MN Fisher]

33 minutes ago, 12poundbass said:

I truly feel everyone should do retail at some point in their lives

Agreed...I've held several retail positions over the course of my working career.

 

Last one was 2001-2006 - Speedway. Started as cashier, worked my way up to Asst Manager before I left to take on a manufacturing job at a 50% pay increase.

 

Retail experience is something everyone should have at some point in their lives.

[flyfisher]

I have done retail, construction, call center rep, corporate america and now teach.  Being kind in no way shape or form means being weak or quiet.  Over the years I have learned how to say what I need to say the right way.  Everyone makes mistakes including myself.  I exend grace to all that I can and if someone screws up and owns it and tries to fix it, I am all for it.  I have a rule at a restaurant that if the food is good and the service sucks I'll give it another shot and if the service still sucks I will go elswehere.  

One of the biggest fights me and the now wife ever got into was ironcially enough when we were going to restaurants trying to find a place that we would use for our wedding reception, only like 20 people.  We got to a place around lunch time about an hour after they opened and the server we had was not in the best of moods.  She wasn't rude per se, at least I didn't think so but you could tell she didn't want to be there.  My now wife was pretty irritated by her and when I paid the bill I gave the waitress a pretty hefty tip.  Well the wife was ticked and said she didn't deserve that tip etc....i told her look, she was having a bad day and this is probably the start of her shift so maybe a good tip will help snap her out of her funk and give the rest of the customers she serves a good experience.  

Who knows what actually happened but I know in a few months we will be celebrating our 8th wedding anniversary so she wasn't that mad I guess

 

A snall act of kindness can go a long ways.

[Bankbeater]

I've worked for a large corporation for the past 35 years. My job is basically internal customer service, but the customers are all fellow employees.

I run into a lot of fellow team members that think they are entitled to whatever, and have no problem talking down at you, just because of their job title.

Luckily I worked in retail in high school and college so I learned how to control myself while dealing with these people.

[Bird]

Ah, never really a reason to exhibit verbal aggression. Imo