Death, it's going to happen

[jbsoonerfan]

I'm 42 years old and don't really plan on dying anytime soon. However, you just never know. Have you thought about how you want your death to be handled by those who are expected to deal with it? I have. In fact, I just spoke with my Mom and wife lately and told them that when I die, I want to be cremated and spread out on the land that my family has owned for almost a hundred years. No funeral, no visitation, no celebration of life, nothing. Once I'm dead, just move on with your life. I know this is probably going against the norm, but I have a real hard time dealing with death and funerals. The last funeral I went to was 17 years ago when one of my best friends was killed in a car wreck. We had so many good times together, but when I think about him, all I can think about is his funeral and him laying in his coffin. The days leading up to a funeral are so hard on the family and then the day of the funeral is even worse. I know people grieve in different ways, but I just want to be disintegrated and spread about. 

 

Does anyone else have a plan?

 

BTW, my wife and Mom probably wouldn't do as I wish. LOL

[schplurg]

I want only two things:

 

- no bagpipes at my service or I will come back to haunt them. I hate bagpipes.

- my sister gets my assets, which are few.

 

I don't care what happens with my carcass. I'm an organ donor though. I mean not yet but one day....LOL.

 

And don't just tell people, make a will or the ones you leave behind will remember you for all the trouble that not having one caused them.

[jbsoonerfan]

I too am an organ donor and I have a will. 

 

That's my main thing, I don't want any one to remember me for any trouble. 

[BrianMDTX]

No funeral. No service. I want my ashes spread in the Appalachian Mountains in Western Maryland. My wife wants the same, but ashes spread in the Atlantic Ocean. 

[TnRiver46]

Prop me up….. beside the jukebox 

[jbsoonerfan]

Just now, TnRiver46 said:

Prop me up….. beside the jukebox 

Never was a bar guy, but you could prop me up on the bank with a rod and reel in my hand. 

[Catt]

Well I can't discuss this or I be banded!

 

[DitchPanda]

I've never really thought about it much..until now! I probably should come up with a plan. Speaking of never know my supervisor gets a call from his mom and work Thursday and says well this can't be good. A distant relaitve..like 2nd cousins husband...had hip surgery last week. Well the surgery went perfect but while the guy was in the recovery room he had a massive heart attack and he was gone. Think he was like 50-52.

[padlin]

I wrote up our last wishes and a sheet with finance info and gave copies to the kids. A couple years ago we cleared out the house of all the stuff accumulated over the last 40+ years that has no use.

 

[Deleted account]

1 hour ago, Catt said:

Well I can't discuss this or I be banded!

 

like mummified?...

[12poundbass]

When my uncle died several years ago he didn’t have a funeral, visitation, or anything. I talked to my mom about it and how I thought it was strange. She went on to say that’s what her and my stepdad have in their wills. I was taken back by this and asked her why in the heck they would do this. After explaining to me their thoughts on it and they didn’t see the need to put the burden of planning everything on whoever is still around to plan everything, attend everything. 
 

It’s engrained in our culture to have those type of things after someone dies. Typically the death of a loved and the days and weeks leading up to the death is an emotional roller coaster (unless the death is unexpected) then to drag it on for another few days afterwards. Like I had previously said I originally didn’t understand the thinking behind it but now I’m totally onboard with it. 
 

As far as my dead corpse, I’m going to be cremated and I’ll have my ashes spread around Sneaky Lake. I don’t want my son or wife to keep my ashes and have to worry about hauling me around if they move or having to worry about having to display me or feeling guilty if I’m put in a closet or something like that. ?

[gim]

I’m only 38 but I have already made sure that my assets are dealt where I want them and no one is riddled financially after I go. I’ve seen families argue over things and finances after someone died and I have learned from that example.

[Jig Man]

My wife and I sat down with our daughter a few years ago and got most things settled.  Then we all went to a law firm specializing in estate planning.  They set up a family trust for us which spells out everything in the event of our deaths.  We have even retitled all of our assets to the trust so it will be a smooth transition when the time comes and avoid probate court.  We meet yearly with the lawyer and go over any changes and update the records.

[TnRiver46]

3 hours ago, DitchPanda said:

I've never really thought about it much..until now! I probably should come up with a plan. Speaking of never know my supervisor gets a call from his mom and work Thursday and says well this can't be good. A distant relaitve..like 2nd cousins husband...had hip surgery last week. Well the surgery went perfect but while the guy was in the recovery room he had a massive heart attack and he was gone. Think he was like 50-52.

My coworkers neighbor went in for hip surgery and never came home. He was mid 60s 

[volzfan59]

10 hours ago, jbsoonerfan said:

Does anyone else have a plan?

 

BTW, my wife and Mom probably wouldn't do as I wish. LOL

My plan is similar to yours. I want to be cremated, no real service. Depending on where I'm living when the event happens, I want at least some of my ashes returned to beautiful east TN and scattered either in the Houston River (7 Islands area) or in Norris Lake. Both are places I love to chase Smallmouth. I bet @TnRiver46 knows where the 7 Islands area is! I've told my wife and kids that if they want to have some sort of service, they can order pizza and beer. Sit around a campfire at home and talk about how great a guy that I am ?

 

As to your wife and mom not fulfilling your wishes, not sure if you're being serious. Although I'm retired law enforcement, I went to college to be a mortician. Still haven't figured out that one? Not about where you're from, but in most states if you do a will or some sort of notarized statement of intent stating your wishes, they have to be followed. That said, things may have, and probably have changed in some states.

[TnRiver46]

54 minutes ago, volzfan59 said:

My plan is similar to yours. I want to be cremated, no real service. Depending on where I'm living when the event happens, I want at least some of my ashes returned to beautiful east TN and scattered either in the Houston River (7 Islands area) or in Norris Lake. Both are places I love to chase Smallmouth. I bet @TnRiver46 knows where the 7 Islands area is! I've told my wife and kids that if they want to have some sort of service, they can order pizza and beer. Sit around a campfire at home and talk about how great a guy that I am ?

 

As to your wife and mom not fulfilling your wishes, not sure if you're being serious. Although I'm retired law enforcement, I went to college to be a mortician. Still haven't figured out that one? Not about where you're from, but in most states if you do a will or some sort of notarized statement of intent stating your wishes, they have to be followed. That said, things may have, and probably have changed in some states.

Sure do! 7 islands is actually on the French broad river but not far from the Holston 

[volzfan59]

@TnRiver46 Yep, you're right, not sure why I wrote Holston? Heck, it's one of my favorite places on earth!

[Smells like fish]

Ugghhh what to do with all this tackle. My kids are still small and hopefully more on the way, I have no idea if they will care for anything I leave them but it’s all theirs to do as they please. Leaving cash sounds nice but I’m a keeper of things and always have been so it’ll be their choice of how to handle things. 

[TnRiver46]

21 minutes ago, volzfan59 said:

@TnRiver46 Yep, you're right, not sure why I wrote Holston? Heck, it's one of my favorite places on earth!

Well the two rivers become one not far from there, you were only a few clicks off haha

[fishwizzard]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mellified_man
 

I think I’d like to go out along these lines, but maybe with coffee instead of honey.

[N Florida Mike]

I want to be buried in our church graveyard, after the funeral. I’m big on traditions but I’m not a “ Open casket “ fan though, so that won’t happen.

Afterwards , I want them to have a lunch where all my friends and family can tell stories about me?.

My wife may just have me cremated and spread on my lake to save money, knowing her.  Or wal mart , so she’ll visit occasionally ?

As far as preparation for it, I’m ready in some ways, but not others. I’ll just leave it at that…

 

[Bird]

Loosing loved ones (and dogs) is always painful but it's also apparent that funeral homes take advantage of those in a low emotional state with outrageous fees. Imo

 

No graveyard for me, won't be there anyway.?

 

 

 

 

[N Florida Mike]

I agree… 

[TnRiver46]

Pro tip: give it all away before you die

 

second tip: don’t hoard stuff to begin with 

 

third tip: if people wanna fight over a dead persons cash just let them, that money will haunt more than it will help 

[Bird]

My wife's favorite song......God is great, beer is good and people are CRAZY. Lol