Super User Bankbeater Posted January 27, 2022 Super User Posted January 27, 2022 Being married isn't an employer / employee relationship. It is a 50/50 partnership where you have to back each other up all the time. 3 Quote
Super User Deleted account Posted January 27, 2022 Super User Posted January 27, 2022 1 hour ago, Sphynx said: My other half does not economically participate, so no, I do not help with the domestic work, my time at home is never spent idling, I am afforded the opportunity to put in extra time working and benefitting our alliance economically (which she also benefits from.) That said I do have "man's work" at the home too, garbage, all forms of handy man and automotive work, landscaping and other out of the house work is also my responsibility, managing the household finances and so on, this is not a competitive sport in our home, we have a list of responsibilities that MUST be accomplished for us to live the lifestyle we have both agreed to work for, there is no particular assigned value to one form of work or the other, it's a team effort and none of it would work if either of us did not fully contribute, ESPECIALLY when it is hard, or inconvenient, but that's the price for making a relationship work in the real world...honestly my attempts at cleaning, laundry etc would simply serve to make even more work, it's honestly best that I just stay out of her way and appreciate the sacrifices she makes for us, she very much does the same. Wow, ya'll do cell check at lights out too?... 3 Quote
Super User Catt Posted January 27, 2022 Super User Posted January 27, 2022 The husband is the head of the house, the building, property, & all possession. He is to make all final decisions after conferring with his wife. The wife is to guide the household, that doesn't mean do all the work. It means delegating authority. Teaching kids to work around the home builds character & a work ethic. 3 Quote
Super User MN Fisher Posted January 27, 2022 Super User Posted January 27, 2022 9 minutes ago, Catt said: The husband is the head of the house, the building, property, & all possession. He is to make all final decisions after conferring with his wife. Not in my house...my wife and I are full partners, negotiating decisions until a mutual agreement is made. If I tried to make a decision that she was even partially against...the garage (unheated) would become my bedroom. 2 Quote
Super User Bird Posted January 27, 2022 Super User Posted January 27, 2022 Like to add, times have indeed changed. My mom never worked a day in her life so naturally my dad had minimal responsibilities inside the home. When he walked into the home after a long day at work, no one spoke until he did. My wife grew up in a home where both parents worked so when we got married there were moments of combat. Lol Our 1st Anniversary ( 1986 ) my wife wanted an Agner designer watch with diamonds. I said why do you think you need a watch when I bought you a stove with a clock ? Quote
Super User Catt Posted January 28, 2022 Super User Posted January 28, 2022 38 minutes ago, Catt said: He is to make all final decisions after conferring with his wife @MN Fisher Wanna read that again? Quote
Super User MN Fisher Posted January 28, 2022 Super User Posted January 28, 2022 Just now, Catt said: @MN Fisher Wanna read that again? I did - in our house, she makes at least as many final decisions as I do. 1 Quote
Way north bass guy Posted January 28, 2022 Posted January 28, 2022 We’re like most people on here, pretty much 50/50. There’s a few things she doesn’t really care to deal with ( snow blowing, vehicle work etc.), but is more than willing to help out with if needed, and it’s the same for me. Our son was doing his own laundry at about 8 yrs old, and helps out with as much stuff as he can around the house, both inside and out. He may not be the best at it ( especially the keeping things tidy part, but what 12 year old is), but he sure is gonna at least know how to do all the house stuff on his own. 2 Quote
Global Moderator 12poundbass Posted January 28, 2022 Global Moderator Posted January 28, 2022 My wife is OCD and gets up at 4 every morning to clean, get ready, feed the dogs, and many other things. There have been days where I’m awake and I’m not laying in bed anymore and it throws her routine off and she lets me know! Lol I cook, I’ll do laundry if she doesn’t beat me to it though she usually does. I’ll vacuum on the weekends, and let the dogs do their thing. I take care of all the outdoor stuff. A couple weekends ago we were watching YouTube videos of commercials from the 50’s-60’s particularly ones that were sexist towards women. They make for a laugh now but holy cow were things different back then. Quote
Super User Log Catcher Posted January 28, 2022 Super User Posted January 28, 2022 For many years my wife did all the inside work and I took care of everything outside. Now we have split it up. I do the laundry, help put away dishes, and do some cleaning inside. I still mow and weed eat and run the snow blower. It used to be when I was still working and something needed to fixed around the house I would tell her I don't do service calls after 4 PM. When I woke up my tools and what needed to be repaired would be there in front of me. LOL. We do whatever we can to help each other out to take care of everything. 1 Quote
Super User DitchPanda Posted January 28, 2022 Super User Posted January 28, 2022 We both pitch in..that's the only way it works. We do our own laundry...both do dishes equally. Share litter box duty. I cook as much or more than her and not just "man cooking" like grilling or smoking..I do everything but baking. I do most of the yard work and snow removal..she does most of the vacuuming and counter top\sink cleaning. No reason for either of us to think we can lord over the other one. Quote
Super User Catt Posted January 28, 2022 Super User Posted January 28, 2022 2 hours ago, MN Fisher said: I did - in our house, she makes at least as many final decisions as I do. The man is the head of the house period! A man makes decisions logically, a woman makes decisions emotionally. The man is to put both together & make the final decision. A relationship should not be 50/50, that suggests y'all ain't giving it your all. I could explain better but I would get in trouble with management. 5 Quote
Super User MN Fisher Posted January 28, 2022 Super User Posted January 28, 2022 Just now, Catt said: I could explain better but I would get in trouble with management. I know where you're coming from...and we don't follow that path. 'nuff said. 1 Quote
Super User Mobasser Posted January 28, 2022 Author Super User Posted January 28, 2022 2 minutes ago, Catt said: The man is the head of the house period! A man makes decisions logically, a woman makes decisions emotionally. The man is to put both together & make the final decision. A relationship should not be 50/50, that suggests y'all ain't giving it your all. I could explain better but I would get in trouble with management. I get it Cart. I've used up all my likes here! 2 Quote
Super User Bird Posted January 28, 2022 Super User Posted January 28, 2022 Completely agree and completely get it. Quote
Global Moderator TnRiver46 Posted January 28, 2022 Global Moderator Posted January 28, 2022 I made the wife happy today! She had a headlight go out and against all odds (and general clumsiness) I replaced the bulb. Then after I took the photo I replaced the driver side too since I bought a two pack……… 3 Quote
Super User Jigfishn10 Posted January 28, 2022 Super User Posted January 28, 2022 9 hours ago, TnRiver46 said: I made the wife happy today! She had a headlight go out and against all odds (and general clumsiness) I replaced the bulb. Then after I took the photo I replaced the driver side too since I bought a two pack……… Husband of the month, right there! You get a special parking spot at your home for 30 days. BTW: How many BR Moderators did it take to screw in a light bulb? J/K couldn't resist. 3 Quote
Super User gim Posted January 28, 2022 Super User Posted January 28, 2022 10 hours ago, Catt said: The man is the head of the house period! You obviously haven't ever been around my Mother. She absolutely OWNS my Father. And this isn't the only relationship that I know about that is like this either... 1 1 Quote
Super User Deleted account Posted January 28, 2022 Super User Posted January 28, 2022 10 hours ago, TnRiver46 said: I made the wife happy today! She had a headlight go out and against all odds (and general clumsiness) I replaced the bulb. Then after I took the photo I replaced the driver side too since I bought a two pack……… Those stupid clips are a pain in the butt to get to, you almost need an extra joint in your wrist and ET fingers. 2 Quote
Global Moderator TnRiver46 Posted January 28, 2022 Global Moderator Posted January 28, 2022 1 minute ago, Deleted account said: Those stupid clips are a pain in the butt to get to, you almost need an extra joint in your wrist and ET fingers. Yea I did that without looking . Couldn’t do it while looking , had to go by feel Quote
Super User Jigfishn10 Posted January 28, 2022 Super User Posted January 28, 2022 Just kidding of course, my wife and I eventually come up with what's right for our family. May not be a fun process of how we get there, but we get there none-the-less. Quote
hokiehunter373 Posted January 28, 2022 Posted January 28, 2022 12 hours ago, Catt said: The man is the head of the house period! A man makes decisions logically, a woman makes decisions emotionally. The man is to put both together & make the final decision. A relationship should not be 50/50, that suggests y'all ain't giving it your all. I could explain better but I would get in trouble with management. LMAO there it is. I bet you really connected with Mad Men when it aired 1 Quote
Sphynx Posted January 28, 2022 Posted January 28, 2022 18 hours ago, Deleted account said: Wow, ya'll do cell check at lights out too?... There's no imprisonment at all, anybody is free to leave at any time 18 hours ago, MN Fisher said: Not in my house...my wife and I are full partners, negotiating decisions until a mutual agreement is made. If I tried to make a decision that she was even partially against...the garage (unheated) would become my bedroom. If she can kick you out of your mutually negotiated bed to an unheated garage...your not really negotiating, your hoping she agrees with you, now if she faced the same consequences for making a decision you were even partially against, your back to the negotiation table lol. Quote
Super User Deleted account Posted January 28, 2022 Super User Posted January 28, 2022 2 hours ago, hokiehunter373 said: LMAO there it is. I bet you really connected with Mad Men when it aired I've always wanted to get my slippers, pipe, and scotch handed to me as soon as I walk in the door, the jacket with the patches on the elbows, not so much... 1 Quote
Super User Bird Posted January 28, 2022 Super User Posted January 28, 2022 After reading through all the posts I've come to the conclusion that we're all different.....imagine that. Lol Personalities vary drastically from person to person so couples learn to adapt or not. The ole say'n that opposites attract is false. We're both loners, both very independent, both quiet and non confrontational, both love dogs and Italian food and both eager to accomplish tasks. The only thing that sucks is she has never laughed at any of my jokes as she has ZERO sense of humor. 1 Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.